This is my first short story. Please tell me your oppinion. Just curious. (the entry by saizeci was deleted because it's my fathers ID) Courage Robert Salamon King Razmoon chose to stroll around his kingdom and greet his servants on a new and wonderful day. What made this day so special was the berth of his son. A boy with smooth white skin and bright blew eyes. The king rode swiftly on his white stallion throw his giant castle and rode slowly throw the giant white gates of the castle walls. After a while, the stallion stopped and seamed frightened as if fire would have risen from the ground. Razmoon climbed of his horse with his hand griped tightly on his sword for he trusted the animal world and knew that great perils await him. He stood beside his fateful companion, turning his head towards each leaf moved by the wind. Finally a silhouette started to show itself. His worst fear now came to mind, the taught that one day he would have to face the great wizard Nundar. This day now came. Nundars robes were long and gray, his fiery red eyes frightened the stallion, making it fly in terror, and his mighty staff showed a strange greenish glow. Razmoon could hear his heart beating and felt his arms shaking. Them he taught of his son and his lands freedom. Realizing that those were more important than his safety, he ran towards his enemy. Running, he heard the wizard shout words in a tongue that he had not heard before and a great weakness took over his body. He fell to the ground, still grasping his sword. With his eyes still opened, could see the wizard wielding ghostly shapes throw the air with his staff, that seamed to change the world around him into something of great evil. With his last breath, he threw his word in the air striking his enemy. They both fell. Razmoons soul rose high above his body with a great sense of peace. The age of wizardry had now passed, the age of freedom was now upon Razmoons kingdom.

I think that's a great start to a short story. You have a lot of plot that I think could be fleshed out and really built into a strong storyline. And might I say it's a far cry better than my first short story (which I won't describe for the benefit of all LOL). If you'd like, I'll send you an IM with more details and a tip or two :) I don't want to toss those around uninvited! David L. Writer's Coord.