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Subject: How Quickly Things Can Change,,,OT


tjohn ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 1:32 PM · edited Tue, 10 September 2024 at 9:26 AM

They say love is blind, and apparently so is hope. I have been seeing every small triumph of my Dad's and ignoring the bad stuff.
His main problem has been congestive heart failure which he has been dealing with successfully for 10 years. Since his broken hip he has been unable to maintain his active lifestyle and has begun to slip away from us into bouts of dementia as the disease progresses. He is being  changed from home health care to hospice care and is expected to live only a few months or weeks.
Thanks for all your kind words and support. You mean more to me than you can know.
John

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy


Victoria_Lee ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 2:23 PM

Hugs and prayers going your way, tjohn!

Hugz from Phoenix, USA

Victoria

Remember, sometimes the dragon wins. Correction: MOST times.


rickymaveety ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 2:23 PM

John,

I am so sorry to hear this, but if his mind is slipping into dementia, then I hope he goes sooner rather than later.

I know you want to hang on to him, but if he can't appreciate life anymore, and those who love him have to sit there and watch him and everyone around him suffer, then I just hope you all don't have to suffer for long.

Hang in there.  I lost both my mom and my step-dad sometime back.  It's never easy, in fact it hurts like hell, but both times I found myself being glad that they were past pain and suffering, even though I knew that the pain of missing them would go on for the rest of my life.

Could be worse, could be raining.


diolma ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 2:30 PM

All my sympathies and best wishes, John.

Cheers,
Diolma



TheBryster ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 2:48 PM
Forum Moderator

It is often alarming to see just how fast loved ones can slip away. Make the most of what time you have with your father. It will never seem to have been enough and will remain prescious to you for the rest of yours.

We both share your sadness and offer our sympathies.

Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader

All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster


And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...


chohole ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 3:23 PM

Oh, what can one say. My thought are with you, I second Bryster's comments.

The greatest part of wisdom is learning to develop  the ineffable genius of extracting the "neither here nor there" out of any situation...."



RodsArt ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 3:39 PM

My thoughts are with you John, I've been through this exact thing. Time here is precious.

___
Ockham's razor- It's that simple


tom271 ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 4:19 PM

My thoughts are with John.....  I felt your emotions through your writing....  I hear the pain..



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archdruid ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 5:02 PM

I have been there, too, and all I can say is that, even with him sliding in and out, nothing can ever replace spending the time with him. Lou.

"..... and that was when things got interestiing."


Ang25 ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 5:17 PM

John, my thoughts are with you and your father.
Hugs,
Angela


skiwillgee ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 8:43 PM

Prayers for you and your family, TJohn.   Just remember the extended family here will be with you through this.


Quest ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 8:47 PM · edited Wed, 21 February 2007 at 8:48 PM

Life can sometimes seem cruel when love ones fight to survive and often at the end of their battle they are stripped of their long held dignity, It is by far more humane to allow the passing despite the pain of personal loss. Somehow we must struggle to see pass this and be the rock for each other in this time of need. My sympathies and prayers are with you and yours.


Incarnadine ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 8:48 PM

you will be in my thoughts and prayers

Pass no temptation lightly by, for one never knows when it may pass again!


sackrat ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 9:49 PM

John,.........I am indeed saddened by this news, I wish I had the power to lighten this burden and bear some of the weight for you. May you gain some small degree of comfort in the knowledge that all of our thoughts and prayers are with you  throughout this ordeal. .........Tom.

"Any club that would have me as a member is probably not worth joining" -Groucho Marx


johnyf ( ) posted Wed, 21 February 2007 at 11:39 PM

Thinking of you & best wishes!


Death_at_Midnight ( ) posted Thu, 22 February 2007 at 1:33 AM

My thoughts and prayers are with you as well, tjohn.


Stoner ( ) posted Thu, 22 February 2007 at 1:45 AM

My english isn´t that great so I´ll try to skip fancy expressions and just say that I hope you get some relief when you need it.

Good spelling is overaytead


erosiaart ( ) posted Thu, 22 February 2007 at 2:28 AM

having a father like this isn't easy. my dad has dementia too, but it's still in the earlys tages..so there are things which you can do now to force it to slow down.
we are all there for you..and i do have tos ay this.. though how much you worry about your dad, and want to do the best you can, it's all in the power up there who knows what's best. we can only hope, but have to accept whatever happens, and go on in life.
don't forget to take care of yourself..we all tend to forget that when others need us..you do matter..to the rest of the world..so do look after yourself too.
we all love you lots.. 


Gog ( ) posted Thu, 22 February 2007 at 3:36 AM

My thoughts and prayers are with you John, my mum fought cancer for 10 years before it finally took her, it was very up and down and she had a really good spell for about 4 months towards the end and then went down as quick as a blink. It really turned for the worst so quick it was shocking, there are some important words given by others, do your best to look after yourself, friends and family.

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Toolset: Blender, GIMP, Indigo Render, LuxRender, TopMod, Knotplot, Ivy Gen, Plant Studio.


AgentSmith ( ) posted Thu, 22 February 2007 at 6:48 AM

I can't really say say more than you'll both have a special place in my prayers.
Please take care.

Contact Me | Gallery | Freestuff | IMDB Credits | Personal Site
"I want to be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now"


Dann-O ( ) posted Thu, 22 February 2007 at 7:44 AM

Well I am at a loss for words. Keep your chin up.

The wit of a misplaced ex-patriot.
I cheated on my metaphysics exam by looking into the soul of the person next to me.


vangogh ( ) posted Thu, 22 February 2007 at 1:23 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad too.


bikermouse ( ) posted Sat, 24 February 2007 at 2:49 AM

tjohn,
Believe me I know what you're going through . . .You may have noticed I've not been very active in the forums lately ... this is because I just went through what you are going through with your father with my mother who passed away on the Ninth and who I had been caring for in ever increasing degree for what seems to me now to have been the longest time. It was tormenting enough watching her slip away physically and mentally and knowing her wishes were to stay at home as long as possible. Since her passing I've  discovered a whole new world  of torment - everything from the Coroner dragging his feet in issuing a death certificate so the insurance could take care of her remains to not being able to resume working at the same place as before and thus running out of the financial resources I need to stay off the street. There are several things that never got taken care of while she was still of sound mind such as setting up a joint checking account and powers of attorney. The sense of loss is immense; only amplified by all the legal and financial details. If it had not been for the help from her church in making arrangements, things would be an even bigger mess. 

I can only hope that things work out for you - you have my deepest sympathies ! 
-TJ  


FranOnTheEdge ( ) posted Sun, 11 March 2007 at 9:41 AM

I'm late seeing this.
But even so, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family - this is the time when family means the most.

I know, I've been there recently when my father-in-law died 2 days after Xmas.
There's little else I can say, so sorry.

Measure your mind's height
by the shade it casts.

Robert Browning (Paracelsus)

Fran's Freestuff

http://franontheedge.blogspot.com/

http://www.FranOnTheEdge.com


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