Gripe, gripe, gripe.........

OK -- I don't watch much TV, at least not directly.  The television is usually just background noise while I'm working online.  And when it's my choice -- it's often either FOX news or the History Channel (or something similar).  However, when your Significant Other likes the types of movies which are regularly featured on the Hallmark Channel -- and you are force-fed with them in the process -- then you begin to notice certain things.

(Heh - and she even agreed with me about this one.......)

How many times can the Hallmark Channel write the same story over an over again?!!!!!  The plot line always involves a personally conflicted big-city type who has to go off (usually unwillingly) to a farm / ranch somewhere in rural Montana / Arkansas / Idaho / Wisconsin in order to 'find' themselves.  Of course, you always have the standard roster of stock characters, too -- the Friendly Old Codger / Mentor who has worked on the farm / ranch for the past 50 years; the Local Yokle Love Interest (male or female -- depending upon the opposite gender of the main character); the Rebellious Unhappy Child (sometimes a teenager); the Evil Villan (ordinarily an Evil Capitalist who has nefarious designs on taking the farm away so that they can build a strip mine & destroy the Environment while Getting Rich, or getting Richer -- and oh, yeah: then Evil Villan always wants to kill of the pretty wild horses, too); the Long Lost Relative (father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, father/mother-in-law, aunt, uncle, cousin, brother, sister......whoever) with whom one had a falling out many years ago -- and with whom one now has an estranged relationship which will always get worse before it gets better throughout the running time of the movie (everyone ultimately -- and inevitably -- hugs each other at the end of the movie.  All is forgiven).  And of course -- hanging around in the background -- there's always the standard collection of "local flavor" Small Town Simple Country Folk who live an idyllic small town simple country life -- all smiles and sunshine, in contrast to the horrible city life that the main character came from.

The plot line invariably involves learning to take care of animals in some form or fashion.......animals which the Evil Villan lusts to chop up into dog food and / or ship off to the glue factory or fur coat manufacturer.  The main character always ends up milking cows; slopping hogs (although these types of stories usually avoid pigs -- not cute enough :m_pig:); feeding goats/sheep; riding / grooming horses; and raising puppies.

There's the standard Town Gathering / Family Reunion scene at about the middle of the movie -- where the Small Town Simple Country Folk smilingly dance to country & western tunes, obviously knowing in themselves that life is so much better for them than it is for the city slickers.  Of course: the Small Town Simple Country Folk always look like they are all actually from LA, and that they've been dressed up in cowboy boots and hats for the occasion.

The main character -- without fail -- Comes To Realize that life can only be lived to its fullest on a farm / ranch in Montana.  Or in Nebraska.  Or Iowa.  Or..........

Of course, the story happily resolves itself in 1.5-to-2 hours (with breaks for commercials).  The main character obtains personal peace; reconciles with the Long Lost Relative; and marries the Love Interest.  The Rebellious Child (teenager) Comes to Realize the Error of Their Ways, and Sees the Light -- going on to joyously milk cows and ride horses.  And, one would assume, attend a red one-room country schoolhouse with a bell rope.  The Evil Villan capitalist is forced to eat dirt and die.  And the **Friendly Old Codger / Mentor **looks on with approval as all of these events transpire, offering occasional Sage Advice -- usually to the Rebellious Child.

Tell me: HOW many times can Hallmark write that story?  How many times?????

Grrrrrrrrrrr........!!!!!!  :m_whine:

Oh, well......I suppose that it could be worse.  I could be watching Democratic political debates on CNN..........:m_thumbd:

Good thing that I've got online work to do every night.  As I've already mentioned: the television set can be mentally tuned out: it becomes background noise.

I sympathise, but it's the same with all movies once you start looking at them in that way. Take war movies, for example. You always get:

• the tough officer that his men finally come to respect
• the grizzled old sergeant/bosun/senior non-com of your choice that you just know is going to get killed near the end of the movie
• the brash youngster who takes too many chances and has to be rescued by his buddies, but comes good in the end
• the coward who finally plucks up courage to do his bit
• the ruthless killer who invariably gets killed at some point, usually by showing some sort of humanity
• the lovable buffoon for light relief
• the enemy soldier who is either a loathsome Nazi and gets killed by the good guys, or is Just Another Guy who the good guys let live/let go

See 'Saving Private Ryan' for examples of most of the above (except maybe the buffoon, because it is a totally humourless movie). They're all the same. Doesn't matter, because it's a tested formula that works (as your SO knows with her favourite movies!).

What i find strange is that the 2 actors  that are in almost every movie , never get a oscar...
Its : the actor: Also  Featuring   and Also Starring ... they play in every movie but never get a Oscar..

Chris

Yup, I gave up on Hallmark long ago.  

One other observation from similar semi-watching:

Why are all movies made in the '70s filmed in near-total darkness? 
(At least all of them that show up on AMC).  
Might as well be radio.  
It can't be just decaying acetate or my decaying retinas, because 
movies from earlier decades have a normal range of illumination.
Was it a fad, or was the electricians' union on strike for the
whole decade of the '70s?

Q. "Completely and totally OT: **how many times can Hallmark write this story?"

A. As many times as they think they can make money by doing it.

====================================================

**Ah, you are learning Grasshopper, that there is a finite number of plots available to be played; be it on the stage, the silver screen, YouTube, or other.  It's called "life" and after one has experienced a many modicum of it, one begins to observe, dare I say it, reruns.

Some things become more savory with age, some cheese and, perhaps, a good whine to go with it.  And, speaking of whining ... but I have waxed poetic long enough, have I not?! ... (rhet)

cheers,
ye ole dr geep
;=|

P.S. Sorry XENO but I could not resist ... ;=]

Well, they say there are only 8 story lines. So every movie/TV show are based off of those 8. It must be pretty hard for writers to come up with something refreshing after over a 100 years of film and about 60 years of TV.

Just think, how many variations of those basic 8 we have seen.

Forgot to mention, it could be worse. Your other half could be caught up in that reality stuff. ( Big shiver thinkiing about that crap) That has been the ruin of TV.

Quote - Just think, how many variations of those basic 8 we have seen.

Hmmm, sorta like Poser human figures, ya know ... 2 arms, 2 legs, 1 head, 1 hip, etc.

Well, most of 'em anyway.

Just my $0.02 for what it's worth.
Come ta think of it, 2 cents aint worth nuthin' anymore, is it?

When was the last time YOU bent over to pick up a penny, huh, huh, huh?
I rest my case ... it was getting pretty tired anyway.

cheers?,
dr geep
;=]

Ugh.......unreal 'reality'.  It's been my observation that people will always behave differently when there's a camera around.

I dunno know, though......I've been to many downtowns of many big cities......including to the worst areas.  It's both incredible and sad to me that people live that way.  I've had teenage girls who should have been in school begging me for money -- and I've had crazed homeless types yell around me (and ask for money).  So perhaps the Hallmark folks have a point -- although the main character in those "going down to the farm" movies is never from a truly rough background.  The main character is usually a handsome / beautiful yuppie with issues.  Also: the main character in those movies is never portrayed by a physically plain -- not to mention an outright unattractive --  person.  No, the main character always looks like they stepped off the cover of either GQ or Cosmo.  The Love Interest and many of the Small Town Simple Country Folk look that way, too.

Of course I fully understand the reasons why that is.  It's for the same reasons that the majority of V4/M3 characters look like they do.  But let's not get into that............

Oh, why not ... What the he!! .... and remember ... who started this fiasco. ... ;=]

Hmmm ... remember ... is that like, um, putting arms and legs BACK onto a Poser figure after they have been ...

Oh, nevermind ... Must've been thinking about that Texas Chainsaw thingie ... or sumthin'.

cheers, (anyway)
dr geep
;=]

Quote - Oh, why not ... What the he!! .... and remember ... who started this fiasco. ... ;=]

Hallmark did.  It's all their fault, clearly.  If only Hallmark would make action/adventure movies, or better yet: films in the style of old, bad scifi.  Or hokey fantasy.  Then I'd be interested.  The only problem being that it would distract me from my work.......

BTW -- this is a fiasco of which one can be PROUD.  I'm buying my bus tickets to Montana tomorrow.  Only problem is that I don't have any long lost relatives in Montana (at least none that I know of)......and my one uncle who owns what used to be a farm runs several car dealerships & part of an RV manufacturing plant.  Hardly the place to go "find" oneself.

I give up.  I'll have to stick with the city, I suppose.  sigh

:b_toocool:

Quote - However, when your Significant Other likes the types of movies which are regularly featured on the Hallmark Channel -- and you are force-fed with them in the process -- then you begin to notice certain things.

Why do you think I left my ex-husband? :blink:

"The Big Country" with Gregory Peck, Jean Simmons and a terrific supporting cast.

Why?

You'll at first think you are being fed the "Western Movie Cliche Database", but I promise you, you will be jolted out of that.. This film rocked me this year when I saw it for the first time on The Western Chanel. TCM plays it occasionally. Netficks probably has it.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0051411/
[edited for better link]

::::: Opera :::::

We all need to go to the farm.  Only problem is: the farms will be getting awfully crowded.

Quote - > Quote - Oh, why not ... What the he!! .... and remember ... who started this fiasco. ... ;=]

Hallmark did.  It's all their fault, clearly.  If only Hallmark would make action/adventure movies, or better yet: films in the style of old, bad scifi.  Or hokey fantasy.  Then I'd be interested.  The only problem being that it would distract me from my work.......

BTW -- this is a fiasco of which one can be PROUD.  I'm buying my bus tickets to Montana tomorrow.  Only problem is that I don't have any long lost relatives in Montana (at least none that I know of)......and my one uncle who owns what used to be a farm runs several car dealerships & part of an RV manufacturing plant.  Hardly the place to go "find" oneself.

I give up.  I'll have to stick with the city, I suppose.  sigh

:b_toocool:

**Montana ???
OOOOoooooo ........... OOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo.......................
Can I come with .......... pretty please. ... ;=]
I'll even buy my own ticket ... puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeze?

**BTW - You forgot to UNdo the "I" thingie after you quoted my quote. Na na na na na nah !!!!

re: Horse Whisperererer
Hey linkdink ... thanks for the warning.
Pretty neat huh to be able to comment on a post BEFORE it's posted?

It's just like deja vue all over again.

cheers,
dr geep
;=]

Xeno, funny stuff. I recognize most of that template from "The Horse Whisperer," an awful flick with Robert Redford and Kristin whatever her name is. In search of lost mojo, city chick with young, rebellious and unhappy Scarlet Johannson in tow finds it with the Marlboro Man. One of the worst I've ever seen.

Ya know -- at least those "8 standard plot outlines" are usually treated with some slight variations on the story.  But with these Hallmark movies, it's basically the same movie with different actors & actresses playing the same roles.

Oh, yeah -- there's another standard plot line that Hallmark likes to use, a plot line which also involves a farm.  That one typically features the Intrepid Single Mother who is determined to Save the Family Farm against all of the odds.  She's usually threatened both by natural disasters and by Evil Villans who are looking to take the farm away & turn her and her children out to starve.  And normally there's a Wandering Handsome Stranger With a Mysterious Past who shows up to become the Love Interest -- and to aid her in the monumental task of Saving the Family Farm, of course.

I can't stand it.  I get up and leave the room.  After all: there's only so much that a man can take.........

Quote - ...

I can't stand it.  I get up and leave the room.  After all: there's only so much that a man can take.........

Amen bro, amen.

;=]

The only thing I like about the Hallmark Channel is that they cast a family friend in the lead for one of their movies. 
I haven't seen it, I just think it's cool :P

the main thing to remember if you are ever about to go into battle - don't show your fellow soldier a picture of your wife and kid. Love esther

TV should be free. But, to pay for it and have to watch comercials too? Suckers, that's why there's Netflix.

You think it's background noise. You're actually being brain washed with subliminal messages. Upgrade you're cable package, resistance is futile. Before it's over with you'll even be paying for radio in you're car if you're not already.

XENOPHONZ... I couldn't stop laughing as I read your opening post.  That is soooo funny!!  You hit the nail on the head.  The Hallmark Channel is guilty!

Hummmm, I moved onto a little 10 acre ranch in the mountains and all I'm learning about is work work work....lol
Love it though. 
Actually I picked up a penny in the parking lot of the store yesterday, old habits die hard. Guess I shouldn't have bought those watches for the critters, now they all know when they're supposed to get fed. Now that the goats have HBO the horses are jealous, and the donkeys want the RFD channel. 
I also use the tele for noise but sometimes when I come out of the den I'm hard pressed to figure out just wth is on. Reality tv? I've never known anyone like those folks, so it really doesn't seem that real to me. Of course I usually only see the first few minutes as I'm running for the remote to change it so who knows...maybe I would like it....NAH!
Oh well, back to work to pay for this place.

Quote - You think it's background noise. You're actually being brain washed with subliminal messages. Upgrade you're cable package, resistance is futile. Before it's over with you'll even be paying for radio in you're car if you're not already.

Huh?  Wha?

must get Time-Warner must get Time-Warner Digital must get Time-Warner HD

Quote - the main thing to remember if you are ever about to go into battle - don't show your fellow soldier a picture of your wife and kid. Love esther

True.  And especially avoid saying "take care of them if I'm gone".  Because you'll probably go: and then your Best Buddy will marry your widow and adopt your kid.  But only after the kid spends 3/4's of the movie's running-time tearfully yelling out interjections like: *"You're not my Dad!" "How could you do this, Mom?!"  "How dare you go into my father's room!!!!!"  "That's MY dog!"

*But of course: by the end of the movie the kid & the new stepdad will be playing catch with each other in the backyard.  With the dog's help, while the Mom gazes smilingly on the scene from the kitchen window.

Quote - Well, they say there are only 8 story lines. So every movie/TV show are based off of those 8. It must be pretty hard for writers to come up with something refreshing after over a 100 years of film and about 60 years of TV.

Just think, how many variations of those basic 8 we have seen.

A good example of this...

Alien and Reservoir Dogs.  The same basic story.  Put seven people in a room and kill them one after another.

You know, Reservoir Alien could work.  Hmmm...

History channel good! Fox news....um  well okay news channels in general can't pick on just one. smiles

One must also take into consideration the short attention span of the average human. So re-packaging a story makes no difference to many cuz they probably didn't pay attention the first time. smiles

" Why are all movies made in the '70s filmed in near-total darkness"

It's not just 70's movies. My kids were watching 7th Heaven yesterday and every room in that house is so dark you can't see the far wall. Everything just fades off into blackness.
This is still a very trendy thing ti do - why?

It is not really about repackaging as much as the successful dynamics of story telling redone in billions of ways.  Twists and turns are nothing new - just the number and complexity involved more recently.  Someone mentioned the 100 years of film.  Bah!  The 5000! years of theater - back to the earliest civilizations.  The stories are no different.  Even the gods of Mount Olympus couldn't be more human.  It is all about empathy, sympathy, and identification.  These are all human stories.  Even animal stories.  Ever watch those 'nature' programs. Note how the editing and narration seem to impart the humanistic element even to animals acting on their natural predilections.

It is quite possible that if we ever received the transmission of a 'story' from an alien sentient species light years away that we'd either find a common principle that flows through all or would be totally incapable of understanding it whatsoever due to its completely non-human nature.

Science, History, History International, BBCA, PPV movies (no commercials, no DVDs).  Not much quality otherwise.  Though I highly recommend NOVA's "Judgement Day: Intelligent Design on Trial" - just watched it and it is brilliant.

One must also take into consideration the short attention span of the average human. So re-packaging a story makes no difference to many cuz they probably didn't pay attention the first time. smiles I believe the attention span is injured by TV viewing. There was a time before TV when long books were appreciated by the masses.

i've always picked up pennies, and been hounded about it for as long. Still, they add up...
I keep thinking of the 'crusty yet benign' characters from Network (the movie..;)

I think I* would try to distinguish between the "8 basic stories" and the use of a formula. A stranger coming into town, misunderstanding people, and leadning from their mistake to become a better person: that's at the basic story level. It doesn't matter whether the town is Lake Wobegon or New York's Five Points. The much more detailed repetition of the Hallmark Channel is definitely a formula. And you don't get that just by mixing genre romance with basic stories. And does anyone remember Crocodile Dundee? That's a stranger in town story, told twice, with elements of romance and adventure mixed in. You could do that with the Hallmark stories, and have both halves of the core romance have the chance to see the other's world. And that gives you more choices for the path the story can take to the inevitable conclusion. But no, they stick to a formula.

Does Hallmark ever have the story of the innocent country bumpkin who goes to the city, against their will, and learns to expand their horizons?

Or the story of the country bumpkin who yearns for something more in the city, has a chance to go there, only to learn that country life is just fine?

BTW, minus the animals the plot has been done all over the place.  It was done, for example, on Andy Griffith at least twice.

I think that most city folk have an idealized conception of what real commercial farm life is like.  These movies don't show you the getting up at 5:00 in the morning part; the back-breaking labor all day long part; or the endless hours of.......nothing.......part.  In addition, there's also the fact that most farms aren't located in picturesque settings -- with glorious snow-capped mountains or beautiful blue lakes as a backdrop.  No, most real commercial farms tend to be dirty, smelly places -- with the distinct aroma of hog feces constantly floating in the air.  It's not exactly the most romantic of settings.

Also -- it seems that the main characters in these types of movies never have to worry about mundane matters like paying the bills -- they've got all of the time in the world to do nothing but play with the farm animals as if a commercial farm was nothing but a petting zoo.

I've been to many small towns, just like I've been to many large cities.  The fact is that people in small towns have their own personal issues, too.......the populations are just as human as their big-city cousins.  And most small-town types aren't rollin' in dough and living on 200 acres of land with a 15-bedroom main house.  Many of them live in trailers set up on concrete blocks, instead.  It's true that life can move slower in the country -- but the "simple people" who live there aren't always nice.  No more so than gang-bangers from Hell's Kitchen.  Human nature is the same in both places -- it's just found in different settings.  And many small town folk -- especially the young ones -- want nothing more than to leave their dreary, boring small town & escape to the Big City.

But hey -- to point these things out is to ruin the fantasy.  And fantasy is what these types of movies are all about.  However: in my veiw, these types of movies can actually be harmful to some in that they seem to offer simple solutions for problems which can almost never be solved simply in the RW.  "Human Interest" stories rarely show what humans are actually like......their petty cruelty, their self-centeredness, their hatefulness.  These types of moives come from a premise which assumes that all people (except for the 2-dimensional Evil Capitalist & his henchmen) are basically good.  Well, they aren't.  In the RW, the Evil Capitalist is actually usually the Good Guy -- the guy who brings badly-needed jobs to the area and who feeds the local families in the process.  And most Evil Capitalists have no interest in arbitrarily shooting the beautiful wild mustangs merely for the sport of killing them.  Afer all, where's the dividend in doing that?  But that's the standard movie stereotype of the Evil Capitalist.

Personally, I'd like to see a Hallmark movie made where the farm is in danger of being taken away and shut down by Evil Environmentalists who have discovered that there's a 'rare' speckled ding beetle population at the back of the property.  Or that the farm will be confiscated by an Evil Local Government Bureaucrat With A Desire To Exercise Petty Authority who has determined that the 30 acres of land which are under 0.25" of water for 3 days a year comprises a "wetland": and therefore the farmer has to shut down all operations.  Those types of situations would be far closer to the realities of threats against family farms in today's world than is the stock movie bogeyman caricature of the Evil Capitalist who has an insatiable lust to build a nasty, polluting chemical plant on the farm property: and longs to kill all of the cute, furry animals to boot.  No -- today's farmer gets far more grief from the government and from zealot-like environmentalists than he does from any sneering, moustache-twirling Evil Capitalists.

But those facts don't fit the Accepted Template For Villanous Types -- so the movie won't be seen on Hallmark.  It'll always be the job-creating capitalist who wears the Black Cowboy Hat in these films.

in small towns, everyone knows your name and your business...;)

Quote - Well, they say there are only 8 story lines.

There are only about ten basic sexual positions between a man and a woman... but we've been pretty entertained with them (and all variations thereof) for about 3 million years now.

I guess some things just don't get old or boring :)

/P

Wow, I wish I had a TV because that sounds like a movie I could really get into.

OK, not really.

I've like the sweet romantic plots that Hallmark produces, especially 'Sarah Straight and Tall,' and the gunslinger who get reformed by the Amish widow, and the WW II pregnant city girl who marries the rural farmer out of despiration, but falls in love with him in the end (That one even as an interesting twist of her teaching him the value of preserving the past and archeology), and then there was the pen-pal romance between a man and a woman se[perated by 100 years of time (that to me was definitely an interesting plot).

So yes, I love the romances and there happy endings, REALITY is too much of a bomb!  Literally!
DPH

Yeah -- reality can be a pain.

I prefer watching Discovery Channel or TLC, when I watch TV, that is (which is rarely).  However, if those Hallmark movies are on, I always managed to get sucked in to them... ugh.

Quote -

You'll at first think you are being fed the "Western Movie Cliche Database", but I promise you, you will be jolted out of that.. This film rocked me this year when I saw it for the first time on The Western Chanel. TCM plays it occasionally. Netficks probably has it.

And for another 'jolt', watch "Brokeback Mountain"... lol

Yeah... I usually watch more documentaries than anything else. About the only 'reality' show I will even bother with is Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel - mostly because it's honest, not contrived (by very much) and nobody's trying to act. OTOH, I've been really getting into Bizarre Foods and Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations for some odd reason, and I'm anything but a "foodie". Both of 'em are pretty cool to watch.

Quote - And for another 'jolt', watch "Brokeback Mountain"... lol

Dunno. Looks like a lot of the 'I think I'm gay but still confused' movies, but it's not in New York City this time... I do admit that it's not your ordinary plot, however. /P

Well it's like most books, really. Apparently the "8 plots" thing is universal.

Read something lke Victoria Holt (yep, standard clicheed syrup-in-a-book-cover) and you'll find they're all made by the same recipe. The ingredients may vary but the main dish stays the same. A Happily-ever-after story. As with most of Hallmark's movies (and yea, We're unfortunate to have that channel even in Denmark, Europe)

The thing is: Just like with the Tele Tubbies, who made repititions into an artform (of you can mention "artform" and "tele tubbies" in the same sentence at all) - people loves to see the well-known things. Most people actually are very much creatures of habit. If they like one kind of movie, they'll love every other movie that reminds them of their "first love"

Personally, I'm a Tim Burton fan. His movies are very different, and yet very much alike, for one thing they almost always feature Johnny Depp and have music made by Danny Elfman. Whatever else happens, those are (almost) like universal constants.

Quote - And for another 'jolt', watch "Brokeback Mountain"... lol

No, thanks.