BIO
...
I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
Hover over top left image to zoom.
Click anywhere to exit.
This site uses cookies to deliver the best experience. Our own cookies make user accounts and other features possible. Third-party cookies are used to display relevant ads and to analyze how Renderosity is used. By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understood our Terms of Service, including our Cookie Policy and our Privacy Policy.
Comments (8)
Synapse
It's good to keep things in perspective, when you see others far less fortunate than yourself. But you know, you may s#it on yourself but you have the capacity to empathise, to feel compassion for those worse off, and that puts you leagues ahead of all too many who couldn't care less about anyone but themselves. Furthermore you have the ability to express that compassion and insight in poetry that's truly moving. Work such as this forces us to drop our cocoons for a moment and consider those who live truly hellish lives. You're a good man Yo, take care...
gunsan
I could not have said it better than Jim here.
Lazart
You move me. I hope many more will see this and think...and cry.
bluliner35
my brother and i lived thru some of the worst detroit had to offer, broken children, incredible violence, no apologies. i struggled, determined to matter, he ran. I can't tell you what was different between us. Don't think one way was better or more right. He chose to get wasted, i chose to fight. 20 years ago, almost. Now, i still fight, i give back what i can, honoring the debt to those who helped me back then. My brother still gets wasted, still runs. A gentle soul, compassionate soul, never really hurt anyone and has nothing to his name. i guess he'd tell you you're free. i'd say the same thing.
bevchiron
Jim really said it so well Yo there's little to add, just don't use your compassion for others as another way to put yourself down, value yourself just as you would wish to see them valued. Great work on the image.
cbender
well yo - i'm impressed again... thanks for this "reminder"... and concerning "the rest" (which should not make it less important in anyway -- i'm just a lazy guy (o: ) i'll follow jim and bev... they said it well... concerning your pic... i'm not that sure about the font... but that may be personal... it's still an awesome pic... :)
SirIglesDremont
beautiful image. very well done
A_
a very sensitive image and words. thanks for sharing.