BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (6)
A_
your words are always so intense, i get visceral reaction when i view your art. thank you, is all i can say.
danob
I found myself inspired to write a poem after viewing this!!
vlaaitje
gorgeous expression..wonderful..and Yes Danob, your words are very touching
SoulSearcherr
you are a writer...your words come alive...but I think U know this..you love to push....pushhhhhhhhhhhhh our imaginations..those of us that are usually sinking in quicksand..no words or imagination..push our buttons a lil more please..S
ARTWITHIN
Your portrait of Sara is excellent, but I take issue on her needing to learn not to feel. Feeling is her hope, just as your feelings, and you do have them, are the true proof of your existence.
seothan
Some survive on knowing when not to feel,not to be consumed,to wall off the destructive memories.As I said "when"not to feel.Only then can one "experience" an unburdened sense of self with out the spectors and pain of the very thing that keeps our souls from flying.So I agree with Yomah here.The reflection of Sara is exceptional and as always for those who are empathics as you are by "why" you are,it is automatic recognition in her eyes you acknowledge and seek to heal.Wonderous work and truthful art...........