Tales from the Grocery by auntietk
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Description
Tales from the Grocery
Shopping at the same store
For lo, these sixteen years
Been going there
Since I was thirty-four
Deli on the left wall,
Meat and dairy in the back,
Produce on the right,
All these years
They're still there
All those things
Around the edges
But everything
(And I mean everything!)
In the middle
Has been moved around
Juggled
Switched
They've moved things
From time to time
A few things here
A couple more there
But this was a
Major Shakeup
The great marketing gurus
Those grocery mavens
Decided things just weren't
In the right place any more
So I go to the store
Sunday afternoon
Nice and quiet
Nobody there
I'm looking at everything
Learning where things are now
Wondering at the mentality
That put tortilla chips
In aisle two
And salsa
In aisle twenty
I'm sure there's a
Very Good Reason
They used to have
Dog food and
Toilet paper
In the same aisle
So who knows
If there's been any improvement
Or not?
One random arrangement
Has been exchanged
For another
Anyway
I get up to the check stand
Give them my bags
Get out my wallet
Ready to write a check
For two hundred dollars
The boy child
Who is working there says,
"Did you find everything okay?"
"I think so," I reply
"If I did, it's a miracle."
"Yes," he says,
With the air of one working
In a nursing home,
"Grocery shopping can be
Confusing."
I am taken aback
He thinks I'm senile!
I must look old to him
"Old" being anything over
About thirty, perhaps
(Does he know
you shouldn't trust anyone
over thirty?
Do his parents even know?)
No shades of gray
Between "young" and "old"
Not confusing, I tell him
I've been shopping here
For sixteen years
(Since you were in diapers
But I don't say that)
They've just moved everything
In the store
Little twit
I'm sure he was sincere
Trying to be polite
To a little old lady
Next time I go in there
I'm gonna smack him
Upside the head
With my cane
If I can remember
Which one he is!
..........
This is a true story! It just happened to me on Sunday.
..........
Title page created in ArtRage and CS3
Comments (26)
beachzz
OMGOMGOMG---oh this is hysterical ---I LOVE IT!!! Cracked me up--that little flippin twit!!!
Lunastar
ROFL smack the little twit for me too.
West_coaster07
LOL...Great expression!!!
Faemike55
Great story! I used to work in various stores and I can tell you that they have no idea what they're doing either.
lil_sizzler
Well, I do with senile people and I can spot one a mile away and you, Tara, are far far from senile. Yes, please do smack him good. These young whipper snappers need to respect their elders! :)
bmac62
Great...I've been there and recently. The grocery store around the corner where we've lived since 1979 has changed hands twice in the last three years. And nothing can stay in the same place except the front door and the vegetable section! Bill
barbdennist
Smack him for me too, and smack those twice that think up these stupid ideas to completely revampt a store. I've shopped in the same grocery since 1992, wrote out my grocery list in the order of the aisles and what was in them....and two months ago they played "fruit basket upset" and re-arranged it all. I still frequently have to hunt some item down and my grocery list is just helter-skelter. ARGH!!
durleybeachbum
Thankyou, Tara for a great laugh of recognition! Hilarious!!!!!
JeffG7BRJ
Supermarkets in the UK do this on a regular basis, it has to do with marketing, and seeing as I know how inquisitive you are I shall disclose the reason for it. Most Supermarkets have what they call loss leaders, items that sell with no profit but they don't mind because it entices you into the store. When you walk around the store you notice other things that you didn't raelly go in for but seeing as you are there you might as well pick them up anyway. Therefore you spend more than you first intended to, you went in because they enticed you with the cheap items. The reason they move the stock around to different isles is to confuse you, INTENTIONALLY. When you have shopped at the same place for a few months you get used to which isles things that you want are on, so you miss out certain ones that you don't need to go down, because there are no items on them that you want. If they change things around you have to go down every isle to find the items that you do want, but you also see other tempting items along the way of re learning the layout of the store. It all has to do with fooling you into buying stuff you don't really need, because after all we are all gullible to a certain extent, and the supermarkets prey on that. And that is how marketing is done in the big stores. Nice prose a very good read, like I told Marylin, I wish I had the talent that you both have for writing poetry. Excellent work. Bravo!!!!! I might be teaching some of you to suck eggs here, but I had five minutes to spare so I did it anyhow.
DAVER2112
Lol! Thank you Tara I needed a good laugh! :)
PD154
Well I was going to pipe in here about how frequently our stores do the same, but I guess I'll leave that to Jeff :)....Great amusing prose sweetie!
lucindawind
lol very funny !
Chipka
Oooh, predatory supermarkets...I'd forgotten how weird that experience can be, complete with younglings who speak only one language: glib. I love the tone and mood of this piece quite a lot...and yeah, the whole supermarket switch-up occurs here, but that's just because of Tesco, the big Brit chain...in the Czech Republic though, things don't get switched up as much, and well...the streets here aren't organized, so supermarket isle switcheroos probably wont faze them very much! Oh well...great poem, and since the holiday is upon us...or at least in a part of the world, Happy Thanksgiving!
brother_meed
... Pardon me, for doing the math In my head as I read... You wrapped the last lines back to the beginning, nicely. Write, write! b.
Geoaskier
HAHA!....delightful.....I needed a laugh!
hipps13
I think of doing that all the time good smack to wake up wonderful work warm hug, Linda Kaye
Jay-el-Jay
A good story of your shopping misadventures.
NekhbetSun
LOLOL I love this Tara !!! ....and give him a good smack for me too :o) ....punk-rampant ! hmmmmmph
npauling
I love this and how typical to have change for change sake not because of improvement. Excellent work.
jocko500
real cool
moochagoo
A great story ! I think the same thing.
bronwyn_lea
What a funny story. Thank you for sharing. Just don't hit him to hard!
Merrylee
This is so funny Tara...I hate it when they change the store around and give that little twit a smack for me also.
gwenevere
So true and therfore extra funny. I really like this. Wish I could write poetry. More please
LovelyPoetess
LOL great writing! And I've known for years that they do this to make you see more things tempting you to buy them. My revenge is taken by corralling a store stock person and make them lead me to item to item to item on my list without letting them go until I am done with everything on my list. Most times they are as confused as I as to where things are now kept. But I agree, that little fellow needed a 2x4 mark up side his head! : )
ontar1
Fantastic poem and so real, been there and done that, excellent work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!