I'm sexy Too! by Arumbus
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Description
"I can be sexy too!� Michael Paulie Gons the Third exclaimed at the beginning of our exclusive interview from his Soho Appartment in New York City. "It was bad enough that Vic (Victoria 3) got most of the attention for all these years," he continued, "but now that new hoity-toity 'Vic-TOR-ia the Fourth' is hogging every bit of render time from artists all across the country." A tear trickled down the thirty-something former super model's cheek. His internal specular and glossiness dials must at been at just the right setting because I swear the tear caught a glint of light and glistened like it was real.
"I want you to write that I can be sexy too", Mike repeated rubbing what appeared to be 2-day stubble on his chin. He was only 3rd generation, so it was at that moment I suspected he was shooting up illegal shaders - there was no way that stubble could look so good with bump maps alone. I was going to start my prepared questions, but never did get the chance. Mike, it appeared, was no stranger to Mimic or some other animated speech program.
"It is bad enough the guys in Salt Lake thought they needed Michael 4" He started quickly, his voice deep at the beginning but trembling and cracking like he has going through puberty by the time he was finished. "But him I can deal with, my bod is as tone and firm as his - just look." He ripped off his shirt and showed an impressive six-pack. There was no doubt in my mind that Mike must have been spending a great deal of time at the local 24-hour Injection or Bally's Morphness.
"Now I know Vic-TOR-ia 4 has some sexy outfits and some great hair" Each time the broken man said 'Victoria', he stretched out the syllables making her name sound like a curse word. "Well, I have that covered". He grabbed at the belt of his white drab pants. I'm not sure but I think it was from the M3 Everyday Wear Collection. You know, those outdated things Daz gives you when you join the Millennium Club.
"Ahh mike, your not going to..."
Before I could finish the pants hit the flow. Of course he had no underwear, I mean, who ever puts underwear on Mike when he has pants on.. it just increases the poly count of the scene and it is never visible anyway. I tried not to look at him... but it was impossible not to notice the little "addition" of polygons Mike must have had surgically implanted. I had never seen one like that! I mean it was HUGE! I'm pretty sure he must have gone shopping at Renderotica not Renderosity. Mike just giggled at my apparent discomfort. This made me blush just as if someone had turned my ambient to 255,0,0.
From a drawer in his desk he pulled out some pink flimsy thing, Nymph Dress I think, and what looked like a platinum hooker's wig and (what I almost ashamed to admit) a sexy pair of pink pumps. He donned then as quick as you can click a mouse and started posing. Obviously they were dynamic clothes because they moved well with him. I was sure it was V4 stuff but the fit was perfect... and I looked at him in disbelief.
He smiled sweetly at me. "It is amazing what you can do if you learn how to use Blender" he said with a grin.
"So now I can have everything Vic-TOR-ia has... will you tell them I can be sexy too?"
I took out my I-Render phone and snapped a shot.
"I'll tell them Mike" I told him, feeling a bit queasy while he practiced some steps from V4's Feeling Sexy pose collection.
When I left I shock my head in sorrow. I knew that the poor broken man inside, a man who was once my hero, a man who I had rendered a hundered timed before, the man who was the base for my namesake 'Arumbus' for pity sake had lost his edge... if not his sanity.
Rick "Arumbus" Merriman
Render News Weekly
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I know, I know... a far cry from my usual work, but I felt like doing something frivolous.
In any case, I hope I made you at least grin.
Rick
Comments (60)
ptwarren
Geezz. Nice one.
Nevare
Oh lord.. I think I just cracked a rib!
shadownet Online Now!
ROFL Great storyline to go with the render!
goldie
OMG, this is so wacky and wonderful, and yes, frivolous...super job on the storyline and, of course, on your work on the scene :D
AngelWeb58
Very Funny I like it!! I like his pink shoes, and hair, very good pose and lighting Have a great Weekend Angel
HauSiyoka
OMG! You're the wizard of composition! Excellent work my dear friend!!!!Hugs....Tee
dianas..creations
That is funny...lol Wonderful story excellent image!
jaynep12002
Too funny!! Very original concept and very well done! Excellent job on your "exclusive" "Shooting up illegal shaders" ROFL!!!
drifterlee
LOL!!!!! I did not expect this!
dantescanto
Heh! I love this! All the way around :D
Mark@poser
If I stare at this long enough, I think I might go blind....Very nice render and an orginal idea...5 stars from me...Do more please!
zil2008
OMG, Rick. This is almost beyond words. You had me almost rolling on the floor laughing as soon as I looked at the render, which by the way is fantastic. Then the story has me laughing the whole way through. So funny. He need not get totally upset as I know some die hard V3 folks out there that are not yet ready to give up V3, but that M4, what a hunk he can be. Great job all round. Absolutely fantastic.
dbrv6
ROFL - well written
GrandmaPaula
"gulp" Okay. LMAO, I need some screen cleaner now......
Cimaira
ROFLMBO... this is too funny! Excellent story and wonderful render. But please do make sure poor Michael gets some help ... soon! LOL
DarkStormCrow
Excellent work.. :O)
eekdog
not sure what to say about this guy, like the rendering and detail. x dressers are wierd. steve
decie
brilliant and story is class, But i cant help wondering if you modeled this off yourself lol Brilliant render.
Arumbus
hehe, why decie, is that a propositional question? LMAO. No this is certainly not me. I'm taller and my heels are blue to match my eyes. ~winks~ hehehehehe Nope, this was just a bit of frivolous fun and my slightly warped sense of humor after seeing so many comments about the "hold outs" (me being one 50% of the time) who still often use V3 and M3. Made me wonder how it would make them feel if they were real.
lyron
Great work!!!
clandes
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's just great. And he does look good in pink too snicker
stevey3d
Aaaaahhhhhh! LMAOF! Brilliant concept, superb textures.. 5+
KL3d
I dropped my coffee for the second time this morning, thank you rofl...
ragouc
GREAT..............funny.....superb pose/face expression and texture..5+++
adrie
OMG this is just so funny, I have such a big smile on my face right now, you made my day, this truly awesome work, love the idea and story....excellent done my friend.
Darkwish
Fabulous work!
lorddarkwolf
wow dude great sense of humor!!!
NekhbetSun
Blue heels and blue eyes and taller huh LOLOL ....yes, you made me smile Rick ! ....this is a hoot !
ladyinblack
LMAO... thanks for a great start to my day! Great job on the image and the story is just wonderful... very creative and cleverly written. Love it!!
HellKitten
lol, great work.