I decided to be born in the wee hours of May 7. The doctors had scheduled my birth for May 9, but one of my key characteristics is that I'm not good at taking orders.
I stormed through kindergarten leaving behind teary, crying children whose sandwiches I had "spiced" with sand or caterpillars, or whose toys I had torn to pieces. I continued the practice in school, only this time I had more raw materials - fountain pens, books, notebooks, chalk, etc. Marvelously enough, none of my crimes against classmates were ever proven, and I managed to graduate with an impeccable record of good behavior.
High school was rather dull - my classmates were either too goody-goody or downright nerds to deserve any special treatment from me. College was more fun, and I still remember fondly all the martinizing I did with my colleagues over a pint of cheap rum in the cold winter days, while a few chosen victims were attending the classes to provide us with reading materials.
After college... life began, and it's not been particularly nice to me. But hey, I can still kick back every once in a while, and boy, it's really, really fun.
For the rest, I leave all to the poor, especially my debts :).
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Comments (6)
neles-e
... really dig the concept had trouble with the use of the earthly terms and with the ending- I would have factored in back-on-earth KARMA in there, somehow still, very creative thanks .
drace68
Ooh. Well written, yes. But dark for these shorter days and descending cold. I'm turning on another light, and reaching for a blanket.
experimental
love it
DennisReed
Awesome!
TallPockets
SUPERBLY written work! (In the 'open' area where you upload the 'text' of your writings, if you FIRST hit the ENTER key about 20-30 times, it will DROP DOWN the same amount of 'lines across' the page. This will place your 'text'/writings BELOW the THUMBNAIL and TOP INFO. (Play around with this per each individual upload/thumbnail size variation.) It would also be easier on these old eyes and to read to have a few 'paragraphs' to break up the page. Just a few of my thoughts. My BEST to you and yours, KIND SOUL.
Chipka
This has the nice feel of a parable: simple and to the point, and yet not very simple at all. Very well realized. There is a sense of tension and a nicely untold story. I think this works really well as a parable, a cautionary tale, a lesson couched in prose, and--indeed--there's an ancient tradition of that. I agree with TallPokets about hitting the ENTER key a few times: depending on things like image size (if there is an image.) I've also found that putting an extra space in between paragraphs makes it easier on the eyes. It separates dialog more easily and so a longer piece is easier to read. This is such a minor thing, however, and the beauty of the story is not compromised. I am curious, however, about these characters. I could easily become fascinated and lost in a longer version of this tale, where you explore a bit more of the characters; the situation is very, very fascinating, and I'm curious as to how and why ONE "person" managed to stay for so long while the central character was able to recognize a soul and leave so quickly: that implies a lot, and it's something I'd love to see explored. In short, this is a marvelous and thoughtful piece of writing, and I'd love to see more. I like this a lot.