( B ) ..." Thanks Greg, see you after the show...oops! are we live?....Hi ! and welcome back, you're watching Snotting on the Wold Channel 10, I'm Beverley Moistbeaver with the news...."..... ( P ) ..." And I'm watching Beverley's webcast on the Porno Channel...sh.Beeep.t did I say that out aloud ?.. I'm Phealin Randy with the sports ".... ( B ) ..." Yeah ! THANKS for that Phil ..".... ( P ) ..." It's Phealin, you can't shorten it..".... ( B ) ..." Ha ! it's a good job, if it was any shorter it would be non existent......Moving on, Our top story today, locals in the village of Cannonfodder on the Wold are hailing a local test pilot, Tailspin Turner, a hero after he guided his stricken aircraft into Grimmire Woods to avoid crashing on the village. Eye witnesses reported the plane having engine trouble and dropping towards the village square, the pilot turned his aircraft back into the woods leaving no time to bail out. The aircraft, a WWII Heinkel - 162 jet, was carrying a 4000 lb 'Mistel ' bomb...the dense trees shielded Cannonfodder from the worst of the blast. Unfortunately the crash was near the end of a runway at The Plant, an administrative building took almost the full force, sustaining massive damage. A number of employees including The Plants creator ' neiwil ' are missing, believed trapped. The explosion completely destroyed the aircraft, starting several fires....Air Crash Investigators and a small army of volunteers were soon on the scene and began searching for 'remains'. Chief Air Crash Investigator, Bern T Wreckage, told our on the spot ( but lesser reporter ) Sandy Bottom (ACI) ..." We're using metal detectors to search for pieces as small as human finger nails, this complicates matters as we've found over 3,000 pieces, NONE bigger than a human finger nail. In fact, we found a human finger nail but it turned out to be artificial, it belonged to one of the volunteers and she was really happy to get it back as they're very expensive and she doesn't earn much, she's a single paren......" ( B )..." Sadly we lost our link at that point but we'll try and have another chat with Bern, when he stops talking bol' BEEEEP' cks. It is now night, the search has been suspended until early morning, or maybe mid afternoon depending how much people drink in the local pubs tonight. With Grimmire Woods being home to a large population of Trolls, The Plants Military Aquisition & Development section has assigned a detail to guard the site. M.A.D General Manager, Gen. Robert Manager said.. ( GM )..." This is a crack Anti-Troll Team, the Trolls are a protected species but if they get within half a 'click' of the crash site....we'll zap 'em ".... ( B )..." I'll bring you up to date reports on this story in my Morning Slot......now over to 'Feel lin' for the sport.....ohhh I'm sorry!! we're out of time, I've been Beverley Moistbeaver and HE'S! been an utter pig! Goodnite.... "