Coffee Run (for Tucker Carlson) by KatesFriend
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Description
Worker Janice (Homo sapiens jānus) is bringing a much needed perk for her crew at the top of the high towers of Dystopia. Like any giant, mnemonic, world dominating computer with a score to settl- er- city, Dystopia requires regular patching, upgrading and dry air lest it become dust-, er- 'gloomy'. Okay, so it looks a lot prettier at night. Don't we all. And with so many other things, Janice, “the Pontiac Sunfire of synthetics”,1 is more than capable of keeping this “fair” “city”2 neat and tidy. Bearing a 3A rating on the Durin scale for craftsmanship, Janice may perfectly lay battleship hull plating or chisel the crystals from a snowflake one at a time.3 But even synthetics need occasional refreshment. Besides, it's in the union agreement.4 No surprise then that Janice prefers a non-fat, quadro vente, macchiato latte, slim on the estrogen and a 1.72mm layer of non-dairy foam with a surface tension of 67.82 dyn/cm – aka. “The Janice”. That being said, there's Janice (Homo sapiens jānus) who takes her macchiato with no estrogen and condensed from molecularly assembled vapour to 121.47 oC – in a special thermo-seal cup, added charge.5 Janice enjoys its “randomness”. But truly striving for “being unique”, Janice (yup, Homo sapiens jānus) prefers her macchiato from freshly transmatted Ethiopian Yirgacheffe, 2g of Korintje cinnamon, no sugar and a vortexed atmosphere of safrone scented nitrogen, light on the heavy elements. Of coarse, foam surface tension has a little less texture at 66.80 dyn/cm but its worth it for that extra kick in the secondary adrenal gland. It can get cold some three hundred (300) levels up and Janice does prefer to work naked.
Ordinarily, I would have put a little more work into a Vue render such as this. But then Tucker Carlson (of Fox "News" fame) quipped that the incoming Biden Administration (in the U.S.)6 would bring about a dystopian America where one can only buy coffee from Starbucks. He rattled on about enforced "sameness" as well. Hearing that, I had to finalize this project and place Mr. Carlson's night terrors into sharp relief. Even if we are well past Halloween. I hope he likes cats. Pleasant dreams young man.7
1Normally associated with the Janice Mk. 4 or later. Though all versions of Janice continue to be ranked number one for 'good, clean, wholesome sex' by Csele Technologies Quarterly. 2Rumour tells of a few trees here and there. 3Okay, I stole that line from 'Doctor Who'. But its such a elegant description of near perfect utility. 4Yeah, I said union. Take that Ronald Reagan Mk. 34. They just won't give up on him. 5Nybblebread: The unsanctioned currency of Dystopia. And cleared of any pyramid schemes since 2136A. 6#IAmCanadian after all. 7I'm pretty sure that I am older than Tucker Carlson.
Oh yeah. Sorry, no nudity.
