On matters of size (adult content) by AusPoet
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Description
There seems much debate;
Perhaps I'm too late
To participate,
But please heed my call!
Too big is too big;
Too small is too small;
And on matters of tall;
Well, it's really not all!
Too big can be frightening;
Too small might mean tightening;
Just right all enlightening;
But it's really not all!
It could be too wide
To fit snug inside
Its desperate bride;
But it's really not all!
There could be some friction
Over what's fact or fiction
But bugger the diction!
'Cause it's really not all!
If the owner is gentle
Instead of quite mental
And keeps clean his dentals
Then there's some of all!
If he knows how to be oral;
Perhaps a little immoral;
Employ moves all a-floral;
Well there's some of all!
If he knows how to tickle,
With nary a prickle
And isn't so fickle,
Then there's some of all!
If he's patient and kind,
Then she really won't mind;
And he may just then find
That he's found some of all!
If he understands pace,
And holds her with grace,
Then he'll like her face
'Cause that's some of all!
If he's good with his thrust
And not fit to bust
Then he's not left for dust
'Cause he's got some of all!
And then in the end
There's the question of bend
Did I mention the end?
The end.
That's all.:-)
Comments (10)
AusPoet
Don't they say one size fits all? ;-)
Wolfspirit
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am freaking laughing so hard now I can barely type!!!!!!!!! That is just too good!!!! Woof, woof! Oh, my goodness I can't breathe! "Gains consciousness again an eye teary of laughter.attempts to breathe slowly and try's not to loose it again" (Sorry I am going on 48 hours with no sleep yet and well... That is my excuse and I am sticking to it.) Excellent writing by the way, and goodness thank you for this laugh, it has been a long time sense I have laughed this hard! What a way to end and evening! Thanks as they say truth is always the funniest!
TallPockets
LOL. Superb piece. VOTE. Now, have you noticed that it's 'only' the ''ladies'' who bring up the 'size' issue? WINK. Hmmmmmm.
KarenJ
Oh well said :)
cagewench
re-posted reply to add link I posted in Community forum... http://www.renderosity.com/messages.ez?ForumID=12357&Form.ShowMessage=2014606 ... and my orig reply was: "EXCELLENT!!!! We ought to promote these... "The size series" I'm thinking I'll make a post in the mass community forum..."
netsia
Excellent, AusPoet....thanks to you and the other ladies for the inspiration. ;) TP....there ya go with that hhhmmmmm thing again. LOL You started this with the boobies post. LOL
elizabyte
LOL! Excellent, and I love the metre you chose. Very nice.
Jianna
What a nice subtle way to let us ladies know that it's not the size of the "worm" but how it "feeds and nutures" us that matters....lol. Excellently written! This had me giggling! HUGS ~Heather~
beachzz
OMG, I just now found this, one of the funniest things I've ever read!!! Thanks for telling it so well!!! LMAO!!!
meico
How the hell did I miss this hilarious gem? I fell apart reading this - and apart from the side-splitting humour it is so damned clever. Many a true word, etc. etc. Mike