Hmm Cara-Mae, feel this way very often, a little lost, a little scared, a little sad, and maybe a little selfish, not sure, Like the way you put your words together. Eccellent. Lina

Who ever decided selfish was a bad word. Everything YOU feel is supposed to be SELFish, so it can't be wrong. I like how you wrote this origionally and the title is perfect.

Cara-Mae, the only thing sounding wrong here is the idea that you could be thinking your feelings are "wrong" or "selfish". Why should there be some kind of time limit as to how long you are allowed to feel sad after your mother dies? Please, let yourself feel, and know that it is right to do so. Peace to you. And this is beautifully written, too, by the way.

(I am sad but must be strong convinced that everything I feel is selfish and wrong) Cara- Mae, in your sadness it is ok to be weak, it is ok to show sorrow, it is ok to hurtit is ok to feel whatever, wheneverit is ok to be you, to be human as your strength is natural for it shows clearly here in your writings as I see it and feel it when your words grace my presenceno need to call upon it, no need to have worries of it not being there, rest assured it is there in you, so for now a answer, forgive yourself for it is ok and love yourself now too.

First, a wonderfully written work. Vote. Second, I still go outside many early a.m. hours and look up to the starry skies and moonlight and 'talk' with my late 'pop' of four gone by years. Trust me, it does help. PEACE.

Ah, poohbear, I know things are strange for you right now. But you have to be 'selfish' sometimes; you can't always be 'on' for everyone else, especially when you don't always get the reciprocal 'on' from those closest to you. To be honest, I haven't noticed you being selfish of late; I have noticed you standing up for yourself a lot more when someone else (who shall remain nameless) has been acting in an unnecessary, just-because-i'm-vaguely-threatened, selfish manner. Trust me, you know that I would be the first one to call you on being a nasty beotch, were that the case. It's not. At all. As for being wrong, you are wrong. Horribly, terribly wrong, in all the right ways. Because only we get the goosebumps when the weird parts come. smooches

danke everyone... I just seem to be addicted to beating myself up emotionally. --- sammygirl, you know I adore you, right?

Please remember to be you for that is all you can really be. Don't let the tempest of life overwhelm you. Beat back the flood, go to the center, and you will be waiting there.

Very emotional and extremley well written. You've gotten such good advice here and it helps me to read it too you know? Grieving is natural...I say let mother-nature take it's course. Time does heal wounds, but the scars are still there.

I always love seeing a little handwritten stuff here, it adds that bit of personality. But it seems someone like you doesn't need anymore because your writing is full of it in the first place. I always love reading your works, no matter how long they are. Someday you'll have forgotten your troubles and it will seem negligable to think about them. For now, be selfish, it's the one thing I always forget to do.

cheer up maybe tomorrow will bring rain, to grow flowers and bring a smile to your face

cheer up all this is just fogging your mind more, alot to accept but you can do it. It is hard I know very hard harder even now at holiday time one day you'll wake up and the pain will have ezed. god bless :)

I see the pain in your words and understand more than i can say here. You voice them well hun.

Wow, a lot of great comments here :) Thanks everyone :)

experimental: your comment really made me smile. Thank you so much for the compliment: "I always love seeing a little handwritten stuff here, it adds that bit of personality. But it seems someone like you doesn't need anymore because your writing is full of it in the first place. I always love reading your works, no matter how long they are."

I like your pic. I like seeing the writers handwriting, it seems to add to some peices (when it is readable...unlike my hand!), such as this one. You need to get a tablet for the computer (if you haven't already got one!).

I have no tablet, i don't even know what it's for :)