The Grey (inspired by eternalwytch1) by cagewench
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Description
Here's an odd thing... I originally wrote this on Dec 11, 2000 and reading 1965 by eternalwytch1 made me remember this... I have edited it a bit today before posting and as I prepared to post it, I realized that here it is 4 years later and I am still in the Grey, in stasis... trapped by my own never-ending thought process and fear...
And these are 2 pics of me as a baby that my Dad took (I was 2 and 1/2 months old in the one on the left and 6 months old in the one on the right) and I made the area around me grey.
_________________________________________________________________________________________ The Grey
The roller coaster of emotions that I live on grows tiresome. As I have grown older, I have found that there is more stability when I exist in "the grey." And what, pray tell, is the grey, you may ask
And these are 2 pics of me as a baby that my Dad took (I was 2 and 1/2 months old in the one on the left and 6 months old in the one on the right) and I made the area around me grey.
_________________________________________________________________________________________ The Grey
The roller coaster of emotions that I live on grows tiresome. As I have grown older, I have found that there is more stability when I exist in "the grey." And what, pray tell, is the grey, you may ask
Comments (12)
Shadowmonkey
I understand this, know this and in parts am this. Thank you
cagewench
you're welcome hug
eternalwytch1
I never assigned colours to me layers... maybe because I pretend there aren't any. HUGZ Wonderful work and so brave of you to share. HUGZ
cagewench
thanks hugz
TallPockets
"It means that I've felt very much like myself for the period of a day and it is only upon reflection upon such a day, as it is almost over, that I can see that it was not so dark as many of the days I usually have." -- The longest journey begins with the smallest of steps. A tremendously well written, thought out, honest, emotive piece. VOTE It could well be a thesis for a P.H.D. degree, imho. Your total frankness within your own self should save you thousands of dollars on 'shrinks'. WINK. Someone dear to me once told me "You think too much. Just feel more and be you, even if you is foreign at first". Good luck, dear lady. May you find PEACE within. T.P. (P.S. - that's the last time I suggest you write a 'funny' piece. WINK 2).
cagewench
LOL, Brian :) The funny ones come when the mood strikes... I'll keep you posted. I think my problem with inner peace is that mine's been in pieces for far too long...
dogjelly
your colors are true - the grey holds lots of possibilities and the pale is a wonderful word - many different suggestions - so much feeling and so much realism - is it the coming of winter and grey skies that opened the floodgates? i love the holidays about to start, but i know that ultimately not much changes afterwards - learning to love what i am and what i have - yes
cagewench
I'd say since I wrote the original version of this 4 yrs ago to the day... it probably was prompted somewhat by the holiday season, it always makes me more "musey" than normal...
SimplySerendipity
You speak of "should" and "supposed" to be; you know that the Universe seeks balance in all, and you know that there is no such thing as "coincidence". Stop to consider the possiblity that all of this was "supposed" to happen; that you are exactly where and who you are "supposed" to be, walking the path toward enlightenment. That without the trials, the tears, the horrors, and the fears, you would not be able to reach that enlightenment at all. Our fears can control us and hinder us, but once they are recognized and called by name, they can also teach us, and as we learn, their power diminishes until they are nothing but a part of our Then instead of a weight on our Now, or a reflection of our Future. You fight so hard to be something that you think you are "supposed" to be; an ideal created through images in others' eyes. Embrace who you are, all 31 flavours of self that exist in the depths of YOUR eyes. You are Cara, and we love you with all of your perceived flaws, not inspite of them. Now you need to start doing that as well. (P.S. To anyone besides Cara reading this that may somehow find this offensive, I'm allowed to say all of this since I am who I am and I've know her forever. wink)
cagewench
smooch
gknapp
It's a grey grey world...
cagewench
I tend to suspect that more ppl are familiar with with grey than not...