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S.

Writers People posted on Apr 12, 2005
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Description


Carelessly playing with your emotions, While knowing he's the target of your devotions. Playing with your feelings he helps you hate And the darkness you live in he creates. Filling you with hopes and lies While inside your heart just slowly dies. But still you feel that he's the one Even though you know it's wrong Why don't you open your eyes to see it all? Why can't you see he's the one making you fall? How come you don't see the point of it? Is it impossible to see he's full of shit? Why do you pretend you are blind and unable to hear? Can't you see it's all so clear? Don't you see there is no love? Don't you know he thinks he is above? Everyone else including you. Now that you've opened your eyes what will you do? Are you gonna pretend nothing happened before? Are you gonna live your life,and your feelings ignore? Will you do what you do best? Just hide in your shell to protect you from the rest? You know that none of that will help you out Yu can run,cry and even shout. But you can't hide from the bitterness you've produced And others with your shit you'll induce So what will you do now sit and cry? Witnessing how you'll slowly die? Resulting from all the shit you hold within. Because this is the battle you will never win. (image by haunter_of_darkness)

Comments (6)


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erviin

5:53PM | Tue, 12 April 2005

Once again your work of verse rime in pairs is superb. It really depends on the reader thou, how it sounds to the ear. Nobody ever reads a rimed work with the same intonation the author intends, and hence sometimes it seems punctuation marks or quesiton marks should be places in other places. However.. your works IMHO are far beter than mine. I wanna see more!!! :)

Wolfspirit

10:17PM | Tue, 12 April 2005

As for the writing, it flowed well the rhyming seemed ok to me as well although as a whole when I read this, I am thinking there is a lot of anger going on in this piece of writing. The picture adds a bit of mystery too Nicely done. Over all excellent work and thanks for sharing.

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Shadowmonkey

9:40AM | Thu, 14 April 2005

I have always found it difficult to get rhyming couplets to fit in with a body of work. An interesting piece that you posted here. Through reading, it sounds as if this is written from a life observation. Each line seems full of emotion and can be read as if they are almost being spat forth into the world. I look forward to reading more ;0)

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Faewind

5:29PM | Tue, 19 April 2005

This has a "rap" feel to it. I like it, and I have been there. Gotta empower yourself to break out! Nice brush work, too. Great all round post.

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evensteven

4:26PM | Wed, 27 April 2005

Poignant and revealing. Excellent work!

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katy555

6:36AM | Mon, 23 June 2008

Excellent composition!


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