BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (6)
anulos
B&W. Always great to see. The poem seems a little bit melancolic. Only You know the deeper sence. Great work!
Synapse
Just when I think you couldn't move me any more than before, you do. Your words are governed by a heartbreaking eloquence. There is something unbearably poignant about that kind of love where you can't live with each other but yet you can't live without each other. I can't write any more, just sit in a sad silence and hope for things to grow easier with time...
FearaJinx
I'd like to know where you get these ideas and what you use photoshop or Illustrator? Wonderful work! I love the B&W and the noise in the picture!
bevchiron
Once more i'm struck by your ability to combine just the right imagery & use of tone with your words to express so much depth of feeling, both the pain filled gulf that separates you & the bond that ties you are conveyed with evocative clarity it almost hurts too much to look. I've always wished you & Anna could find a way to work things out & I'll go on hoping
titta
This is such a touching image; so sad, and so deep in its feelings. Whatever happens between you and your love of your life - the love will always stay; nobody can take it away. It's great to have such deep feelings - although it hurts so much. This picture is a living proof of your ability of expressing so much with so few means. Splendid piece of art.
cbender
this really touches me... thanks yo... and i hope too - hope is what keeps us going...