BIO
...
I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
Comments (6)
gunsan
No Yo, no one could replace you, your deep images and the insights in your soul you give us are treasures, don't ever doubt that!!
Synapse
No one can replace anyone, we are all unique and as much a part of the whole as any other. Gun's right, no one could ever replace you, and I hold out hope for a day when you come to realise (and furthermore to know) that what we perceive is strongly filtered and distorted, especially when it comes to ourselves. You are much more than what you see of yourself. Really great layout here, its pure white is the perfect canvas for such a scattered collage, appropriately reflecting just how distorted our perceptions can be. Your calm expression here is so right for this: that one tear on your cheek is so much more powerful than the grimace of a scream could be.
cbender
there's no way to replace you... no... there's no one who could touch me with his/hers pictures like you do with your pictures... and ... well as long as you can touch... as you can reach others... you're "necessary"... you're not "replaceable"... no one is... and no one will ever be...! hug
bevchiron
You could never be replaced Yo, as the others have said you are a unique & special person, neither could you be erased from history, for me at least your art & the way it touches me will always live on. I agree with Jim about your composition here it makes a striking impression yet is also full of subtlety, an extremely expressive piece of work, as always.
titta
Those pictures can now never fade - they are engraved into my mind. As your Art has been, all of it. And you too because you've made it. And it's impossible to replace you or your art with anything or anybody. It's only you who can create these pictures. There might be a day when all of us have been erased from the history - but in this time, in this life it's not possible! YOU are engraved into me - and I can imagine easily that all those above feel the same. I'm happy to be able to carry you with me the rest of my life. I'm happy I've met you, through your art. - Once again such an impressive and touching image!
A_
titta said it - the pictures will never fade because they are engraved into my mind, and thus- so are you. titta's every word.