BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
Comments (8)
Caithream
bevchiron
I've looked at this several times now & still each time I'm almost speechless as I become caught in the powerful gaze of the figure, so small & vulnerable as he faces the world with integrity & innocence, the words appear like a wall behind which lies a world of isolation, perhaps a wall through which a better life may be glimpsed but always appears just out of reach. This is incredibly moving Yo both graphically & emotionally striking & powerful, impressive work.
RJC
A very stirring image. Disturbing. Melancholy. Extremely well executed. Hard to find the words I need to explain how it makes me feel. I'll say this. It seems familiar to me. Like I've been there. VOTE
Synapse
It's hard to put into words what this does, knowing this is not fiction but real life. I can only echo Bev here, she said it well.
Zabeth
No words...
KingHeroical
Remarkably evocative. The character, both facially and in pose, convey a real sense of decay, and....acceptance. Very haunting. Excellent work.
cbender
yeah... well i have similar feelings like bev has here... the figure - the staring... the way she expresses "loneliness"... it paralyzes me... definitely...! and if i do... well all crap... it's really hard to find words which could satisfy what i feel here... this is good!!!
Digimon
The world is mad, and the insane are just frustrated that no one else sees it. Bloody sheep!