BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
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Comments (8)
point_poser
wow... not sure what to say, very very good art and concept. slightly depressing!
Synapse
It's really nothing very much you're asking for is it, just to be understood, and understood properly. A shame that so many councellors base their profession on nothing more beyond "hand me down conclusions", empathy seems to be a foreign concept to them. If only it were possible for human beings to be able to see glimpses of the world as perceived through the eyes and senses of one other - then a lot of human problems just wouldn't apply. As it is, supposition and generalisation can make poor substitutes. But when little or no real attempt at empathy is made, and it's easier instead to pigeonhole and dismiss people away, it's a sad state of affairs. This is such a starkly powerful image Yo, it hits home some inkling of what it's like to be left on the sidelines, having to make do with the kind of help that just isn't helpful. Hang on in there, I can say no more...
bevchiron
Your art sheds light on painful truths Yo, your talent at expressing insight & emotion in the most powerful way never fails to impress me, what I see here is that in spite of your pain & the attempts to stifle you by those who should support you but fail you constantly is a striking inner vision that I hope you will come to trust & follow however difficult it may be, I'm sure you will one day find a way to make those pieces fit.
cbender
speechless and it's true what bev said... you never failed to influence me too with your art... keep your eyes up... the pieces once will fit together or you simply put some away and replace them...
Zabeth
...or you break everything and somehow try to put them together again... Healing takes time and time goes too fast... you may lose yourself in trying to have perfection...
gunsan
Once again I can just agree to what bev and Jim says, I have not the gift of writing, therefor it is good when someone says what I would have wanted. You are in my thoughts!
Digimon
Powerful
Caithream
Exceptional image and words.Your work has the ability to throw the puzzle onto to floor to be scattered and exposed for the parts that it is.Excellent work!