BIO
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I have fluctuated between writing things about my state of mind and writing about my life as we know it. Most of the time I'd just delete everything and leave it all blank. I've decided to just ramble on from time to time and let the crap stay. Kind of a log file, just as hard to understand, and just as worthless to most...
May 08 2009: Posted an issue I feel strongly about. Alienate a lot of people. Need to talk to someone. Tried talking to friends but we are all dealing with the same s#it - the loss of a friend. Tried here on Renderosity. Nobody will talk.
May 14 2009: Took some time off to let go of some anger. Hope to post again. I really want to delete everything. Been a member since 2003 so I know how it works. I am just getting so tired of everything.
May 18 2009: It's so desperately sad that my life has come to this. I had hoped there'd be something better for me. I used to think I had something to say. But my private ideologies gave me away. I tried to keep my mouth shut but it's always the same over and over and over again.Today I got it wrong again but it's not surprise. Once more heaven has forgotten me. So everybody clap your hands together and close your eyes, as I watch my world collapse. Don't waste your sympathy on me because I made this mess. My mistakes happen with so much success but I drag you all down into my sorry mess. I said I was sorry but it's always the same over and over and over again. I have been doomed from the first time I tried to find something to say I kept hidden inside. It would be much better if I just smiled and lied. ...
June 5, 2009: Things are not good. I know I should blog. No body reads this. Most web users skim at best. So I am safe in leaving behind scraps of mental illness in my wake. Things are NOT good..
July 10, 2009: It's all turned the s#it - i'ts ALL s#it.
November 25, 2015: I am amazed that I still breath. Whenever I begin to feel as if I have no Hope, I hear a whisper in my ear that reminds me I AM STRONG.
...at least for one more day.
Comments (5)
cbender
you do... you are... you feel...
bevchiron
Why even try to make happy images Yo, you most certainly do exist & through your art you have a very strong & valuable presence that matters very much to many of us & we most certainly aren't here for the spatter, sometimes your work may be hard to view but far from so much of the empty horror that we see it has integrity & is done with creativity & great talent. You aren't alone so just be yourself & know that you really do matter!
Zabeth
To be ignored is the worsed thing... You have to try and just see the ones which care for you... As I trying to! ;-) Have a great day!
A_
i.. i.. i don't know what to write. but i have to! i don't know if i have the right to say that, since i don;t know you and you don't know me, but you do exist - and you do matter, and i know i will never forget you... because you touched me with your artwork. i'm sorry if this sounds like a cliche, but i really do feel that.
Digimon
Words....they can be nice to hear......if you believe them.....words.....they have no meaning.........unless you believe them.......then they mean everything.......