Could we get a maintenance crew down to deck 44 double-D, our Texas Ranger PDA has handily splattered intruder all over our monitors and we can't navigate until they're cleaned.

**Ride On!Riders of the Sky!**

Diverting the display from "The Ultimate Biological Weapon of Mass Destrution" display to all screens, there seems to be an eclipse taking place, but our advanced sensors are not decieved...Awaiting orders...

The rumours are wrong....his name is everywhere....even men cannot get enough of him..... Now back to the laundry room....the spin cycle has begun!

You are right...even I...when I am a Man...use Buzz. He makes an excellent False Leg, since I lost mine to a Man Eating Woman. Also if the Batteries are new, it keeps Me on the Hop!...now, move over and let me sit on the Washing Machine with You....we can play Pat -a-cake- the Baker's Man. Are You not cold running around My Spaceship in Your Smalls? Oh, I wish Jwdell would pull the Trigger...blast You all out of the Sky ...i wuz happier being a wee Frog :(

Launchin weapon...

Uh oh...Sir we seem to have underestimated the weapon...

Blast Them John!!! Show them what You can do with Your Weapon! If You fail Me....I will dump You from My Top Hot 5 Foxy Babes :( Come...sit on the washing machine ... it will help You rearm. Blast them JD! Feed Yourself some more of those Chilli Beans, Yeah! Right on Dude!!! Jumping Jack Flash...it's a Gas!!! Ooh...I wish I did not have the Onus of Commanded...I was happier playing Leap Frog with Gay Abandon ...but, He has gone back to His Wife :( I am soooooo distressed, ....ooh, I forgot to put the Softly Softly Conditioner in the Washing....oh, well...fast Cycle again. Load all the Washing on one side...for a bigger....booooooompf *sigh*

Locked & loaded g/f, thanks!

Good evening, Sir. Sorry for being late for it is a long way from Russia and I couln't find a space taxi =(( I beg Your pardon. Here is my ID. Femme Fatale is back! =) What are my duties, Sir? I desire to serve You =)))

This level of devastation has never been seen, Whats worse, the weapon is now proceeding in the direction of the Oh so poorly defended Gamma Quadrant...those poor people...

You have arrived at a most opportune time, My Dear Femme Fatale. Foist, You will replace jwdell in My Top Hot 5, as He has run off with the Washing Machine. The Moody Moderator has taken the Ship's Generator, Declaring it a "Noise Distractor" and now has it for Her own Pleasure. Everybody has actually Desserted Me... I am sorry Dear One....but, I have under gone a severe Gender Bender....I am now Brenda. Do You still Desire to Serve Me ...John preferred the Washing Machine...I could be Your Girlfriend? We could still be Friends. I will become a High Commander again, but, foist I must Lick the Toad, and once again become a humble wee Frog. I have had nothing but bother ... Spy's everywhere...You know what it's like...that Caledonia has brought me heaps of Grief.....ooooooh....Spidey is on My Lap...yes, Cal...I thought She was My Neighbor...i asked Him for a wee *kiss* and tried to squeeze His Bgpipes:( He reacted ....un-Gentlemanly...I have a Black Eye :( Nurse! Oooooh....there You are...my wee Lap Dancer. Your Duties Femme Fatale? Dance! A Cossack Dance for Me!!!!

That's it!!!! I've been probed once to often... Beware space rats, engineering has suck-umbed the lure of the Raven haired ones legs! the catholic upbringing has prevailed!!!! Besides I just can't resist Blossom... not to mention that Mooncat of the tasty boots...

Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Good afternoon dear HC! A Kiss for you! I see planet putrid still has not been blown up yet! Where the hell is doca?! will this ever end? (who here has the artistic ability to blow up this stupid planet & put an end to it's reign of terror & control over our sweet dark haired one?)

& thumbs up spidey! :D don't-call-me-scotty! get back here on the double! the poor HC did not mean to replace you with that Femme Fatale- he has his weaknesses rolls eyes you have been a loyal crewmember, do not be swayed by the washer!

but those v-v-v-ib-b-brations.... Ok, sorry, the PDA has a more enticing rythym to her vibes. The Buzz is fading...

None can resist a blue eyed PDA waving a smoking gun and dripping dispached intruder from her most fair visage...click, click...

my 6th sense is pleased to see you recognize true vibes... *mind hug* & besides i have become quite fond of Raven- i will now concentrate my powers on the final destruction of Planet Putrid! & put an end to this mission

Jumping up and Down

BOOM!!! =======

*My KINDA PDA*

*John is back in Hot 5*

And peace descends upon the Galaxy....

Come Hot Foxy NO#1 Babe

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE MOTHERSHIP HAS PREVAILED AGAIN! LONG LIVE MY BELOVED CREW ...SLEEP WELL WEE SECRET WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION...YOUR FUTURE TEACHER'S HAVE MUCH TO FEAR. NOW...I AM OFF FOR A GENTLE REST AND RELAXATION. A HIGH COMMANDERS POST CAN BE VERY STRESSFUL. I NOW MUST BE DESTRESSED. GOODBYE AND THANKYOU. I LOVE YOU ALL....I LOVE YOUR SILK...SPACESUITS . ADIEU MY FRIENDS *Kiss*

ZZZZZZ......hmmmm...hey what happened?....Cindy? Cindy?.... I just had the weirdest dream........

The End

I have No More Viagra

thE mOthErshIp, lOAdEd wIth thE hErOEs Of gAlActIc bAttlE And thE mIld mAnnErEd mOdErAtOr, rEtUrnEd On thE lOng jOUrnEy hOmE.

plAnEt P.U.T.R.I.D., blOwEn IntO 609,987,762,123.88 pArtIclEs hAs bEEn scAttErEd bAck IntO thE stArdUst frOm whIch It cAmE.

....And thEn, thErE wAs A sIlEncE.

beep ... beeepppp ... beep ... beep ... beep ...

Are you telling me I missed it??!!!! Are you telling me I packed 24 trans-quantum vortex bombs all this way and didn't get to blow up one damned thing???!!!! Do you know how dangerous those things are??? Do you realize that just having the plans for one gives you an automatic death sentence in 132 galactic systems???!!!! Do you realize that I didn't get to place my life in jeopardy even once or risk going out in blazing, beautiful, explosive glory??!!! I missed it . . . . . .

Darlink Dholman...vou haz missed nuffing...vou Has Won ME!!! Now come here You Wonderful Heroic Space Hunk...now, let's just see what You are Packing that could leave You in jeopardy of a Death Sentence...let Me have a wee Peep. Oooh, My! No wonder the Moody Moderator was interested! Come with Me Dalrlink Ken Doll look-a-like....I will Respect You in the Morning ....if You Survive the Night! Hugz, Brenda xxx Waiting to give You the "Audie Murphy Award" for Bravery and Tight Buns :)

indeed u did choose well HC ;0] now Space Hunk don't go and waist does vortex bombs anywhere else u hear, save it for the next trip, they will serve u well babe ;0]

Congratulations to all members of the Mothership crew on the glorious abolition of Planet Putrid. My dear High Commander thinks that I deserted him, but actually the loud music of my pipes entranced the Moody Moderator luring her away from Planet Putrid before its destruction. She is safe and thinks the whole adventure was a dream. She needs to be welcomed back to the crew and the good graces of the HC. The HC doesn't like me any more, I am very sad:(

Ooooooooooh! Caledonia ....I am soooooo sorry...I have kicked that Dholman outa the Space Bunk, just to make room for You...do not weep, for the Foam Mattress soaks up all the Tears....and, I dislike a Damp Bed ...there is nothing worse than to lay in a wee damp spot :( This Pain, Dear Kilted One, could have been avoided....a wee Photo, a wee Peep under the Kilt ...just to make sure You are a Man :) Now, play Me a wee Ditty on Your Pipes. Go for it Cal ...Squeeze, *sigh* THE END! Do not reply Tanialmedia ...oooooh, I know that You like to get the Last Word in :(

Yes my dear ones, this truley is the end..... It has been locked for posterity.... :~)