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Subject: OT: My first real SPAM experience - pure bliss, lust and joy


Doublecrash ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 7:26 PM · edited Fri, 08 November 2024 at 10:04 AM

Content Advisory! This message contains nudity, violence

Here I am. Only joke here is in the title. I'm darn serious right now: it tastes GOOD! :) A brief chronicle: I just couldn't wait anymore. So, I washed my dishes (they were there for a couple of d... oh, well, trash this, LOL) and meditated in front of the can. Really. I even called my brother (another great, great Monty Python fan, we in family are all ok, ya know) to tell him... he lives 60kms from Milan and he pleaded me to wait 'til Sunday. I said no. Susan not only was so kind to send me the original SpamFile (uncompressed), but provided me with a couple of useful tutorials on how to extract the most blissful experience out of it. So, at last I opened the can. The smell hit me immediately: strange, but definitely meaty and intriguing. I followed the tut on the label to extract the SPAM onto a plate, but then: it's the only can I can get in a long while, I thought, so I simply have to taste it as simple as possible. I wanted to taste SPAM, not a mix. So I sliced it into seven parts. The first I ate out-of-the-box. Yumm! People, I know that you already know it, but it's delicious! McDonald's is nothing compared. No joke. I wondered briefly why McD is the only US food that we import. Then I took two slices and grilled them. On one I put our Italian version of Cheddar Cheese, the other I left as it was. Rendertime: more or less 7 minutes, the cheesealiased one took a little less. Gulped 'em down. Whoa! Even better than the out-of-the-box first image. The fourth I fried. Bless thee who sent this to me, aye! It's a strange taste, not similar to anything I ate in my life. So good and original. I used the fifth to make a sandwich like the one reported in Susan's tut. Hotdog bread, cheese (again our version of Cheddar), prickles and a veil of mustard. Another hit! But now, be prepared to my blasphemy... with the two remaining slices, I tried the following: QUICK TUTORIAL FOR USING SPAM IN ITALY Take the usual Italian pasta. Not fresh pasta, the real Italian one, made of corn. Like Barilla (I think Barilla exports also there in the US). I think it's better short pasta, like Penne or Maccheroni. Not spaghetti. I went with the Penne Rigate. Brown a little onion in a frypan, along with other vegetables (carrots and celery, that's how I make the base of the sauce, the "soffritto"). Fry it in Olive oil, of course. Then, add the tomatoes. In summer, is way better to use little cherry tomatoes and put them in the soffritto fresh, and not use peeled canned tomatoes. But, hey, before this... cut the SPAM into little cubes and let it fry a bit before adding the t's... The secret is that the sauce has to boil just a couple of minutes before the pasta is ready, like this it will remain fresh and the tomatoes won't have the time to make the sauce acid. Otherwise, you have to put a sprinkle of sugar in it, and I hate sugar in tomato sauce. Drop the hot sauce on the penne rigate. That's all. Italian pasta la-SPAM. :) Not only it was real good, but it was real fun! Thanx again Susan!!! Total rendertime: 12 minutes, more or less, with premium effects from US and soft flavors turned on (you are free to decide the amount of TIR[] you prefer). Hugs... and burp :) Stefano [] Tasty Ingredients Required. For the newbies = spices.


jasonmit ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 7:31 PM

Now I'm hungry again.


RodsArt ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 7:47 PM

LOL, I can just imagine watching this excited flamboyant Spam-anticiapanato(made up italian word)LOL, dancing around the kitchen. Would come very close to my all time fav, the dunkin-donuts brain-freeze chick. Glad you let us share this with you Stefano.

___
Ockham's razor- It's that simple


Incarnadine ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 8:01 PM

I am still laughing at this!

Pass no temptation lightly by, for one never knows when it may pass again!


RodsArt ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 8:13 PM

Next thing you know, Stefano will be spending more & more time on ebay bidding on cases of spam, & if he turns on his brother & friends, he will soon be known as the "Spam father" trafficking in Spam shipments.

___
Ockham's razor- It's that simple


Slakker ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 8:26 PM

yea man, spam rocks.


AgentSmith ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 9:03 PM

I'll only eat it fried up. Raw?! Oh, man... AS

Contact Me | Gallery | Freestuff | IMDB Credits | Personal Site
"I want to be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now"


Ang25 ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 9:06 PM

hey, its his first time, he has to try it at least once every possible way. Who knows when the next time he'll get some will be. :-D


Roch222 ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 11:50 PM

DC - Your a real Sport and sounds like you had some fun - But I gotta Say that Gelled Up Lips and assholes (Spams Ingredients) Just dont do it for me, ... BTW what size can of spam did you get a #10 can - to make all those tasty (yuck) meals, you gotta be stuffed.... Glad to hear you enjoyed..thanks for sharing roch222


woodhurst ( ) posted Fri, 13 June 2003 at 11:56 PM

LOL thanks stefano i was about to fall asleep but then i read this. spam on!


tresamie ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 1:03 AM

Mmmmmm, yummy! But no leftovers? ;) Tres

Fractals will always amaze me!


Zhann ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 1:04 AM

It's great fried up with eggs and potatoes for breakfast too.

Bryce Forum Coordinator....

Vision is the Art of seeing things invisible...


chohole ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 2:50 AM

Whatever happened to the Spam fritters? Didn't Susan send you a tut for them?

The greatest part of wisdom is learning to develop  the ineffable genius of extracting the "neither here nor there" out of any situation...."



tjohn ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 5:29 AM

ROTFLMAO! It's Spamalicious! Mmmmm...Spam. Next up: Turkey Spam (yes, Stefano, there is such a thing...tastes like chicken). :^)

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy


TheBryster ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 8:14 AM
Forum Moderator

You could try using a Kenwood PC Processor (PC=pre-cooking) to re-constitute the spam texture. With the resultant mass could then be metaballed into a burger sort of shape. With an onion added for reflectivity, the whole thing gets re-heated and placed between two pre-rendered baps.....result...spam-burger!!!!!

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All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster


And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...


Doublecrash ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 8:27 AM

LOL :)


Colette1 ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 9:28 AM

This has got to be the funniest, most heart-warming things I have read in a long time. LOL


ttops ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 12:30 PM

:)


catlin_mc ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 1:40 PM

Haven't stopped laughing since I started reading this. I'm so glad you enjoyed your Spam Stefano but I dread the day when when all Italian recipes include spam. If you want some more let me know and I'll see what I can do.........you could get everyone here to send you a tin then you would be sure not to starve. Although it could make you ill. 8) Catlin


antevark ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 4:02 PM

Wow, I wondering about this 2 days ago, thought you'd chickened out(I wouldn't blame you!!).


PAGZone ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 4:49 PM

SPAM? Yikes, I expected to read about revenge against unwanted email and instead I read about some Italian nut eating SPAM for the first time! LOL!! Thanks Stefano for the laughs! I haven't had SPAM since my Mom used to make us eat it once in a while for lunch! I hated it then, it smells so awful! Well actually I did try the turkey Spam, it was well Spam of the turkey variety. But as mentioned by someone else, don't read the ingredients unless you like eating lips, ass, brain, eyes, and organs for texture. eeeeeew. LOL -Paul


eelie ( ) posted Sat, 14 June 2003 at 5:28 PM

Stefano, you are the funniest! I'm so glad you enjoy the experience and tried it so many different ways. :oD (Uh, but you did misread the tut just a little. It's mayo, not mustard. But, hey! Whatever taste you like!) Susan


Doublecrash ( ) posted Sun, 15 June 2003 at 6:36 AM

Glad you liked my SPAM chronicle, family! :) I'd let you know that I washed with care the SPAM can and now I'm using as a pen-holder on my desktop. As soon as my digital-camera-friend comes along, I will post a couple of shots. Now, it's your turn... I'm not bad at all at cooking, so: there's some Italian recipe you'd like to know? S.


Doublecrash ( ) posted Sun, 15 June 2003 at 6:39 AM

Susan, you're right... but the other night I didn't have any mayo left... :)


lsstrout ( ) posted Tue, 17 June 2003 at 6:47 PM

Stefano, I have to know, have you begun to show any viking tendencies? Built a longboat? Raided the neighbors? Thanks for sharing! Lin


Doublecrash ( ) posted Tue, 17 June 2003 at 7:03 PM

No, Lss... I'm okay and fine, LOL :) S.


catlin_mc ( ) posted Tue, 17 June 2003 at 9:37 PM

It's only a matter of time before the change starts Lin. We better keep an eye on Stefano for when he changes............hehehe 8) Catlin


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