Fri, Sep 20, 2:42 AM CDT

Renderosity Forums / Writers

All Forums

Welcome to the Writers Forum

Forum Moderators: wheatpenny, Wolfenshire

Writers F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Sep 20 2:16 am)



Writers Gallery

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." ---Anton Chekhov

Subject: New poem

Ianfe opened this issue on Jan 31, 2004 · 4 posts
Back to Forum Print
Ianfe ( ) posted Sat, 31 January 2004 at 2:27 PM · edited Fri, 20 September 2024 at 2:39 AM

Hey guys, I wrote a poem for one of my images, I'd sure appreciate some comments, as it's not my usual style.
The link is
Is there....?
Thanks,
Ian

Ianfe ( ) posted Sat, 31 January 2004 at 2:28 PM

...and please excuse the lack of punctuation in the earlier post... had some trouble with the HTML format

tjames ( ) posted Sat, 31 January 2004 at 9:08 PM

In S2: "And so the stars, fly overhead like swarms of eagles, and leave the thought, our bows uncertain." how about: "And so the stars fly, Swarms of eagles, and leave the thought, our brows uncertain." Dropping the overhead improves the flow and bows just doesn't make any sense.

Ianfe ( ) posted Sat, 31 January 2004 at 11:47 PM

hey tjames, thanks for the comment and the suggestion. I'll certainly keep them in mind when enough time has passed. I usually don't touch anything I write for a week or two so I can be objective about it. Thanks again.

Privacy Notice

This site uses cookies to deliver the best experience. Our own cookies make user accounts and other features possible. Third-party cookies are used to display relevant ads and to analyze how Renderosity is used. By using our site, you acknowledge that you have read and understood our Terms of Service, including our Cookie Policy and our Privacy Policy.