As many of you know I lost my mother this past saturday and her loss to me was devastating.Part of the healing process is to reach out...but my family is somewhat lukewarm or downright cold and so many of moms friends did nothing to show respect for her loss that I truly wonder if people understand the meaning of loss anymore-here was this sweet dear woman who refused to cry or admit she was in pain when just touching her caused a wave of agony to wash over her face.We were never very close emotionally because she wasn't raised that way and wasn't there much as I was growing up due to events that she could not control...but her final days were agonizing and with her loss came emotions within me that have been so difficult to deal with alone.But the one thing that has happened is that I admire my mother now...I so cherish the strength I saw in her at the end and regret her not having any grandchildren because she would have made an excellent grandmother:) Within the rosity community over the past several months there have been many members who have either experienced loss like my own or who have themselves been lost to the community...after waking up numb this morning and all day trying to find something worthwhile to do within the community,this idea emerged and I wanted to share it to see what you think.To some it may be depressing so its not an official contest yet and may not be...what I want is to see what kind of a response the idea gets and if merchants would support the idea.In a huge community like rosity you will experience many losses every year and by being community oriented,there should be a special event held annually for those we've lost.I had this idea months ago when Tom42 lost his beloved father but I am now ashamed to say I didn't post it...I allowed a few people to tell me he might think it morbid but am now doing this because of my loss and the fact that so many who I thought cared about my mother seemed so apethetic at her loss.People from around the world honored my mothers memory...people I'll never get to meet but who proved to be more family and friend to me and my mother than those near to us.If the same is true of others,then why not at least throw the idea out there?? In any case my friends,I wish to say thanks to each and every one of you for your support in this as I am only now beginning to heal and I have so much healing left to do on my own...but most of the pain I feel within myself is diminishing and newfound emotions of admiration for my mother are taking its place-she deserved so much more from life and only with her loss am I discovering what I truly lost in her-she was so strong at the end,I think you'd admire her as well:)

the idea is wonderful many have experienced loss in some way or other - not always through death and if you can put this together I will donate a character towards a prize :o)

Right now I am looking for interest...if people support the idea I hope to let the community and admin help decide the rules with your suggestions as after this year I would hope it could take on a life of its own-thus,it shouldn't just be seen as something for this year or for me to decide although I would hope to take the best ideas for the general design for future incarnations of this event.

I should point out that I will offer Lorene...a character Chrislenn made in honor of my mother who will be in the marketplace before long and I hope you'll enjoy her as I know my mom would be thrilled to have such an honor (even nudes if tasteful...but remember,is dedicated to my mom so lets not do porno with her ok:)Chris will also offer another of her beautiful characters so hope this contributes to further support.Again thanks and hope to see some input here.

Message edited on: 06/17/2004 22:31

Message edited on: 06/17/2004 22:32

it's a beautiful thought, AB :) I think it should be a go!

I am so very sorry for your loss Armorbeast...I lost my father Dec of 2002 at the very young age of 69. He left behind 8 children,30 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. They say time heals but I still miss my Dad terribly..more so in the month of June when Father's Day rolls around and also his bday was/is June 17th. And I also,think you have a wonderful idea... Nancy

I am very sorry for your loss, Armorbeast. I too have lost a few loved ones and I'm afraid time is not really diminishing the pain (in my case anyway). I lost my father in August 2000. He was 82 and I was 46... I still miss him so much sometimes that it hurts! At other times, it feels like he is closer to me than he was in the last years of his life when he wasn't really himself anymore. I also lost my husband 20 years ago. He suffered all you can imagine and more for 5 years before he died. I NEVER heard him complain and even the day before his death, he was feeling guilty because he said he hadn't been a good husband and father since he left us alone for 5 years and was leaving us for good! So I think your idea is a very good idea. Only problem is (for me): I don't know what is your idea, exactly. What kind of contest are you thinking about? Since I'm fairly new to 3d world and this community, I don't know much about those things. France

ok time to start some suggestions here are mine 1 a dedication image to either someone who has lost someone or to someone you have lost 2 not limited to any particular style can be portrait, goth, fantasy etc ok running dry of suggestions already lol any others? one thing for the judging no matter who does it the image should be judged in comparison to the artists regular work if that is possible so someone who is beginning and does an image that is better than their previous has as much chance as those who know the program inside out what do you think? Chris :o)

Would rather exclude darker elements like violence and if its goth or nudity the artist might need to ask the person they are dedicating it to first to see if it would be appropriate...the idea here is for honoring someone's memory but also to do it in such a way that it fits a common theme that the community itself may select each year.If you are doing this for a non member,then it would be at your sole discretion save for violence and images of suicide (just to clarify in case anyone asks). In my case,people who dedicated images to me on behalf of my mother can look in my gallery to see what would be appropriate...but if they bypass me and dedicate to my mother they were very respectful-they also looked at what I wrote about her and did the images to reflect what they saw in my words. As for talent...to me a beginner should have as much a chance to win as a pro and maybe it shouldn't be limited to poser but would have catagorys for 2D seperate from 3D-and judged seperately?To honor one's lost loves to me is in itself reward enough...but a contest also allows merchants to contribute and show support for the community.For this reason it could be stipulated that only images that were done throughout the year would be allowed or maybe one new one and one previous image would be allowed. As Chris states...what do you think

Could it be an image representing something that loved one used to do often? Or representing one of our best souvenirs of that person or of our relation with that person? Would it be limited in the image/file size? France

How about "Remembrence Month" as a working name...maybe start small with this year and if its a success it can become a perpetual thing each year?Contest would be held in July and run the entire month?Also,if you aren't a merchant and would like to support maybe rosity would allow members to buy gc's which they would collect along with a list of contributors names... Starting date would be July 1rst?And yes,the topic of your image would reflect what you believe best represents or honors the memory of the loved one your image is dedicated too.It could be a farmer plowing his field,a seamstress making a dress,could be drag racing or big bands...could also be dragons,barbarians or angels. The idea here France is that its from your heart and if its personal,from your own memories...the trick is that we will make this one more fair by addressing different skill levels and styles-its not for beauty or grace alone but remembrence and dedication:)This ones from the heart and it should be judged as such...if the support is there its a go as I now understand how much you guys have mean't to me in this my darkest hour and know how much it would mean for people to remember or show respect for those we've lost!!!

On a personal note...as many of you know I was very bitter about the circumstances leading to my mothers demise as it shouldn't have happened and those who chose not to be there for us should be ashamed as my mother deserved better...I promised myself she would not be forgotten and that I would make sure that people around the entire world knew her name!!I have the ability to make that happen...other people are equally deserving to be remembered and thats why it is so important to me to see this through.No one should die as she died and certainly she deserves to be remembered...my mothers name was Wanda Lorene Eighner and I hope that I get to know others deserving of Remembrence as that is what this is about:) Thank You

Sounds like a wonderful idea, Steve. I lost my Mom in 1997 and my Dad in 1969 when I was very young and can understand your feelings. Hugs, Nancy

just a baby right Nancy ;o) editing because AB didn't understand and needs some things translated from Aussie to American the implication is that Nancy is so young now she must have been a mere baby in 1969

Message edited on: 06/18/2004 01:56

I think it is a great idea. I lost my oldest son two years ago next Monday, a month and half before his third birthday. He did not have to die, and the bitterness and pain is just now starting to surface. I tried to hold my family together afterward but to no avail. I think this would not only be a wonderful way to memorialize our loved ones but also might be theraputic as well. To all who have lost a loved one my heart is with you and I thank you Armorbeast for championing this idea. Dale

I am sorry to hear of your loss. :( Quote 'regret her not having any grandchildren' Tony and I had a similar experience. He lost both his parents 5 weeks apart not long after we married. Our girls came along after they had passed away. We have seen in our girls traits and features of both Tony's parents. Our eldest is petite and dark eyed like her grandmother and our youngest is blue eyed and oval faced like her grandfather. They both have mannerisms we thought unique to the grandparents. Our youngest is fiesty just like her grandfather. I could go on.. In my long winded way I am trying to say that although we lost two people we dearly loved something of them lives on in our girls. I like to think Tony's folks are looking over and after our girls. Helen

well, i think this is a fantastic idea, commemorating the passing of a loved one or someone you know! as i have recently lost my nana, due to ill health and a **** up at the old folks home she lived in! i have lost many friends and family, to be death is another way of moving on to another life, i am a firm believe in re-enacarnation, so to me one person dies they pass to the next level of existance to someone else! im waffling a bit, me thinks! anyhoo, a fantastic idea! and i hope it goes ahead! thankee

I am so sorry to hear about al your losses. I was reading this post and it drove me to tears, specialy since I still have both my parents (74 and 78)and I cherish the time I have with them and dread the moment that time will be gone.If you are starting the contest and need some prizes, count me in!!! I will gladly donate to this!! This contest would be especialy suited for the december month, giving each and everyone the opportunity to deal with the missing that is extra hard during that time of year.I wish you all all the best and my heat goes out to you!!!

Dalinise, while I agree that it would be suited for December due to the fact that it is when you miss your lost ones the most, it ias also a month filled with joy and expectation, and I'm afraid this one would be buried and forgotten. How about November instead? I'm not sure the mid summer months are good either. People are away on their vacations. November is a dreary month, at least in this part of the world. DEEP dark autumn/winterly. Depressing. It would suit MY November mood to have a contest like this in november. Also my father's birthday was in november, and allthough he passed away more than 25 years ago, I STILL miss him and whis I could show him this-and-that.

Your initiantion sounds a very good idea... If I may suggest a month I would suggest January... It is after the major holidays and... that is the month when my father pasted away many many years ago...

how about a trial run for july like you suggested and then an annual one. The month will be a problem as so far November through to January has been suggested and am sure more will be - may need a vote or something for the month

Just a thought: since this would be a very special and emotion filled event, couldn't we do it without it being a contest per se? All the members who submit an image (appropriate image of course) would be eligible for a draw and the winners would get the prizes offered for that event. I think it would be more appropriate to take out the competition idea from such a wonderful project. And that way, even the most inexperienced members would hesitate less to participate. You know, in the eyes (and heart) of my father, I was better at singing than Celine Dion (we live in Quec), I was better at drawing that the most famous painter, I was better in computer arts as the most famous computer artists... and so on. So since this is to honour our loved ones who passed away, let them be the judge of the quality of our work. France

I like the idea France :o)

I think it's a wonderful idea too. I lost my husband on December 20, almost six months ago, and every time it gets near to the 20th of the month I go into a depression no matter how hard I try not to. Everyone tells you it will take time to heal but, you know, I don't think one truly ever does. I think that being able to put all those feelings we have concerning our loss into a work of art will be beneficial in some ways. I hope so.

I like the idea of July as a trial run and then maybe establish a month for this annually.I agree Christmas may be kind of a bad month for this because many people are either high with anticipation or extremely depressed...November could be good because in the US thats when we have Thanksgiving,a holiday where we are supposed to be grateful for what we have (but often all we do is a family get together for a single day). I'm not sure how we could do a drawing of sorts but it would be nice to have gifts instead of prizes...just don't know how or if we can get the motivation needed to do this.But in any case,we need a trial run in July and I'll im the admin now to see if I can pull them in here for input. Thank you all for the support as this one has meaning not just to me,but I think it would have meaning to everyone over the years.

Just a thought.....but I think that... Oct.31st....is the day of the dead in Mexico? It is also "Halloween" for those of us who live in the states and one of my most "favorite" holidays, as it was a favorite for my dear beloved sister, who we lost in 1991 in a tragic home fire. I have also lost a parent, in 1988, my dad........and each time I think of either one of them........it brings tears to my eyes. I know it seems.........Stupid...but we did have to put one of our dogs to sleep in Feb. due to cancer and that was the last picture that I put in the gallery. Although she was a "DOG", we did love her, and will always have fond memories of her too....and perhaps...I would have made a picture of both my dad and my sis....if.....the computer and the internet, had been available to me at the time? I think this is an "Excellent" idea and I for one, would be glad to donate a $25.00 gift certificate as one of the prizes, should you decide to do this. (:

I have to apologize, but I forgot to say.....My SINCEREST, condolenses in you loss. Forgive me for, Not saying that in the first place.

A way to honor and remember our lost ones is wonderful. But I would not like it to be a contest, somehow it seems irreverent to me. Maybe a special genre "Dedication" or "In Memoriam" would be an idea?
Everyone of us remembers lost loved ones, everyone of us has one or more special dates or periods. Mine is spring, I lost my favorite uncle in April 1986, and my father in May 1994. But also November, my brother's wife lost her unborn son in November 2002. November 2nd is the Christian day for praying for the deceased. But since this is a worldwide community, spanning all religious boundaries, I'd prefer not to choose a date/month that is tied to a single religion.
In short, I call for an 'In Memoriam' genre.

Another thing. I WOULD participate in a memorial contest, but I would refuse a prize. Knowing I did something special for someone special is a greater prize than can be expressed in money.

Forgive me once again....My sister passed in 1981....not 1991. Sorry.

Genny,don't ever feel bad to speak of a lost pet when you speak of a loved one as we along with many have lost pets who mean't so much to us.I had a cat named Sissy who died from cancer back in 1999 after over ten years of love and devotion to me.Svdl,I agree that this shouldn't be a contest as such but at the same time it can often be a factor for getting people motivated...I also like the idea more along the lines of "gifts" but how we could do that.I would hate to have someone give me a prize for doing something nice and would probably give it to someone else who really needed a smile on their face. So how about we try something along those lines maybe...something where gifts are supplied by merchants and then distributed maybe to members who have experienced loss by someone appointed to that task?iLona gave me a gift without realising I had just lost my mom and even though I haven't picked it up,it did make me feel better because she cared enough to do it...maybe something along those lines? Thats why I wanted community involvement...to carefully pull things together with input from many people so as not to be offensive or make mistakes that could hurt someone unintentionally.I know how much it mean't to me for svdl and others to do works to show their support and the dedications to my mother mean't so much to me...still something inside me would also like to see the winners recieve a gift as I've wanted to give gifts to everyone that dedicated images to my mom-course the finances involved made that impossible especially now since her insurance lapsed just before she found out she had cancer and couldn't get insurance afterward:(So,I'm in an award giving state of mind I guess...but if it weren't for the freshness of this I might feel like svdl in every way which is why I hope we develop it together;)

It has just come to my attention that Ironhart has died...I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with this artist but I for one feel a sense of loss.I just wanted to report this here because I hope someone else will start a new topic,but I think maybe we can do this trial run and remember that the loss of a fellow artist is also a key part of this concept. If this is all the input we recieve we may be able to get something together and present to admin/merchants soon but hope that if you have any questions or ideas you will post them before we do:)

I was born on my mother's 20th birthday... her #1 son. We had a very strong bond and I always felt very sad when a war or some other event prevented us from getting together at birthday time. We shared our last birthday together on Jan. 13th, 2002... she was laid to rest on Valentine Day the following month. She had been fighting cervical cancer, brittle diabetes, and congestive heart failure for over 4 years and never once complained of her situation. I saw her have 2 miracle recoveries during her last years; she walked away from 2 heart attacks that the doctor's swore recovery was impossible. I think Armorbeast has an excellent idea... and I would support it for sure.

So sorry to hear of the loss of your loved ones. I would support this idea in a second, I not only think it is a wonderful idea, but can already think of what to do with a picture. Also agree that nudity and violence would not be a nice element in a rememberance such as this though. I hope to see this idea a go soon. Hugs to all Rita

I think that's a great idea. In 1998 when I lost my fiancee, it had been a tradition in the VR community of ActiveWorlds and OuterWorlds to build 3D memorials to the ppl to remember them by and I know it sure helped me in dealing with the loss to see all the support I got from the ppl who did them and celebrate Creator's legacy. It would probably do the same thing in helping ppl cope if ppl made pics here.

For those who don't know,Rosity has dedicated a new area for our loved ones to be remembered in and I am so proud that it was this topic and you my friends who helped make this happen.AS you know we lost two friends here in Ironhart and Don Tatro soon after this post was made but the gears were already in motion before these tragedys struck.I waited til now to reply because I wanted to see what developed and if you go to the frontpage you'll see it mentioned there. Its not a contest but if the people who supported the contest idea would still like to join with me in creating a contest I would be happy to have you there...have had so many people write me emails and pm's on this subject that I would like to pursue a contest for all the support we had in this area.However,the direction would move away from a dedication contest to those we have lost to something more uplifting or exciting.Will contact those who offered support and hopefully we can put something together:) Again,thank you for your support and it is a wonderful thing that both you and the rosity staff did pn behalf of my mothers memory...I will never forget her and I will never forget your kindness here my friends!!