this was posted in a group i am in and well i just had to share it with you guys Take notes there will be a test after class :P Add It Up: Relationship Guide For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points? Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry,that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system. Simple Duties: You make the bed...+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pllows...0 You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets..-1 You leave the toilet seat up...-5 You leave the toilet lid down...-10 after the lights are out...-30 You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty..0 When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1 When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom...-2 You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings..+5 But return with beer...-5 You check out a suspicious noise at night ...0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing..0 You check out a suspicious noise and it's something...+5 You pummel it with a six iron...+10 It's her father...-10 Social Engagements: You stay by her side the entire party...0 You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy..-2 Named Tiffany...-4 Tiffany is a dancer...-6 Tiffany has implants...-8 Her Birthday: You take her out to dinner...0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar ......+1 Okay, it is a sports bar..-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night...-3 It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team..-10 A Night Out With The Boys: Go out with a pal...-5 And the pal is happily married...-4 Or frighteningly single...-7 And he drives a Mustang...-10 With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)...-15 A Night Out: You take her to a movie..+2 You take her to a movie she likes...+4 You take her to a movie you hate...+6 You take her to a movie you like...-2 It's called Death Cop 3..-3 Which features cyber having s*x..-9 You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.........-15 Your Physique: You develop a noticeable potbelly...-15 You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it....+10 You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts ..-30 you say "I don't give a damn because you have one too"...-800 The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?...-5 you hesitate in responding...-10 you reply, "Where?"...-35 Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen,displaying what looks like a concerned _expression...0 When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes..+5 you listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV...+10 she realizes this is because you've fallen asleep...-20 Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.

if i scored -1286 do i win a Prize ;) thanks for posting

Well, that's hubby well into the minuses. lmao

Guess I'd be in the minus too, listening span of about 5 secs. thefixer poser coordinator.

Negative numbers are the future of the humanity.

LOL that was fun, I have to show this to my husband! we have some math to do :D

I always wanted to know... Can't women put the toilet seat down, or something? I mean, what's the deal with this? We have to lift it up, fer crissakes, so why on earth can't you put it down without complaint? Will you all self combust, or what?

no sam, see we complain when its 3 am and the lights are out and the seat is up and the man was t he last one in the bathroom ^.~

Message edited on: 05/14/2005 16:50

Aaahhh... NOW I get it (it had escaped me til then): After 2:59 AM women are unable to operate light switches!! So all we men have to do is leave the light on...:-)) Cheers, Diolma

why is it that we would have to do something we absolutely hate in order to gain favor?

Papa: "because" Diolma ; Ehhhh wrong :P no matter the hour or light situation if the lids up its bad :P

How about some points for women:

talking to us while we're in the bathroom taking a shit...-15
expecting us to fix something you broke...-10
calling us at work for nonemergencies...-15
disclosing private information to complete strangers...-30
crying when you don't get your way...-50
batting eyes and come-on's when you want something (money)...-5
men always having to pay for everything on the date...-20
making us spend time with your dad...-20
having to wait an hour for you to get ready to leave the house...-20
having our time wasted by you deciding what to wear or how you makeup and hair looks...-30
being rude to our friends...-20
wanting us to make the decision as what to do and then being mad because it's not the result you wanted...-60 acting like you know our work environment better than we do...-40
treating us like a child...-20

paying for the meal once in a while...+30
not talking during the TV show...+50
not talking about how fat you think you are...+10
taking an interest in our hobbies...+10
getting to know our friends before you judge them...+5
not spending an hour to get ready to go somewhere...+20
going to an action movie...+30

Message edited on: 05/14/2005 21:03

At least I understand Men's Rules and they don't seem nearly as selfish as Women's rules!

talking to us while we're in the bathroom taking a shit...-15 No waaaaayyyyyy!!!! Nobody does that... do they?

I don't understand what do you want with the toilet seat? We can left the seat down, we don't need to lift up and then put it down. We can put some screws and let the seat in a permanent down position and problem solved.

You know, this is the sort of thread I never answer, because I know most people could care less what my opinion is on these sorts of subjects. But Mizrael's comment above tickled a memory... I'm a straight male who's had many years of relationships with a number of women. The personalities and expectations of woman vary per individual much more than men, and the stereotypes of women are not nearly as applicable as the men's tend to be. Which makes them less predictable and (by some people's view) more interesting. I've also had close relationships with a few women who, after the initial rush of hormone-fueled infatuation wore off, showed themselves to be the classic female steroetype as described in above threads. Emotion ruled, opinions and expectations changed on a daily basis, manipulation was the primary tool used to achieve goals, etc. There have been a number of times where I've thought that being gay has got to be less painful (per Mizrael's comment above). But after much thought, the reality is that relationships can be painful. Whether it's male-to-female, male-to-male, female-to-male, or female-to-female, the core of any relationship is that it happens between people who are human, and thus flawed and foolish (sometimes, at least). And the alternative (avoiding relationships) is so infeasible to an emotionally healthy person that it isn't an alternative either. So my mindset, developed over very many years (not saying how many), is that you have to have relationships, with both males and females (regardless of sexual orientation), and you have to recognize that maintaining those relationships requires lots of flexibility and forgiveness. Whether it's a friend or a lover, you and they are going to irritate each other eventually, and then you recognize it, apologize, and move on. Emotions (and men have them too!) make humans illogical and irrational. That's the way our world works. You've got to learn to live with it, or live in a world even more painful than the one that has relationships. IMHO

Karen, that includes trying to talk to us through the door. It's not just limited to trying to be in the bathroom with us...

Man, I would never talk to my husband while he was having a poo... or expect him to talk to me either. Well, not unless it was really urgent, like, "Sweetheart, don't pull the flush, because I forgot to fix the top of the tank back on and..." crash "Whoops, too late!"

Kaweckie Said: We can put some screws and let the seat in a permanent down position and problem solved. Yeah but then we'd get bitched at for pissing on the seat all the time. It's a no win situation! We lift those seats out of courtesy so you have a dry seat to sit on but we don't get credit for that one either! Zenman, believe me when I say, gay men aren't entirely free from female manipulations either. We have our mothers, grandmothers, Sisters, cousins and Aunts and that's just in our families! There are also co-workers and female friends and aquaintences that have to be placated as well.

What they want, they want the seat down and don't want the seat pissed, never are satisfied always want something else. And what about removing the toilet, only a classic ancient hole, no lid, no seat, no light switch, no six sided screws (complicated shape), no problems.

Just one interesting observation. I have come to the conclution many, many years ago, that it is sheer male arogance to believe you can aim a jet of water that varies in presure and dispersal over such a distance at such a small opening sighting along such bad angle. The result, I always sit down, gives me time to read anyway. Now for some reason I have never run into the problem of the seat being up, day or night. Just put it down before you start, always, even if it is down already. I have shared houses with both males and females over the years. Solves both problems anyway. The seat is always down and no pee on the rim

papablue, I have to disagree with you on that first one. It's a -30 at least.