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Subject: OT - double-entendres - Go on! You know you love 'em....

TheBryster opened this issue on Sep 30, 2011 · 12 posts
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TheBryster ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 7:51 AM · edited Fri, 01 November 2024 at 11:38 PM
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** 12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio****

**1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

 2. New Zealand Rugby  Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria .. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie ( Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them . Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

 

  1. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

 

  1. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

 

  1. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

 

  1. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

 

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

 

  1. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

 

  1. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader

All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster


And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...

erosiaart ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 8:33 AM

RFLMAO. ok..me shameless.. I love them! Thank you for the laff... 

peedy ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 8:40 AM

LOL!

I still love the one about Arnold Palmer's balls the best! hehehehe

Corrie

bobbystahr ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 10:35 AM

with ya on the Arne's balls one but the "where's the 8" you promised me" made me spew coffee .  ..   ...

 

Once in a while I look around,
I see a sound
and try to write it down
Sometimes they come out very soft
Tinkling light sound
The Sun comes up again



 

 

 

 

 

peedy ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 10:41 AM

Yeah.
And that in front of an audience, too. LOL

tjohn ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 12:28 PM

Attached Link: http://www.break.com/index/news-anchors-crack-up-at-double-entendre-2006475

Here's one I found on the net. Enjoy.

This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy

tom271 ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 1:59 PM

:)



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ThunderStone ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 4:37 PM

:lol: :b_funny:  at the Arnie's balls and the 8" remark...


===========================================================

OS: Windows 11 64-bit
Poser: Poser 11.3 ...... Units: inches or meters depends on mood
Bryce: Bryce Pro 7.1.074
Image Editing: Corel Paintshop Pro
Renderer: Superfly, Firefly

9/11/2001: Never forget...

Smiles are contagious... Pass it on!

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

 

Quest ( ) posted Fri, 30 September 2011 at 5:17 PM

ROFLMAO! These are good. Thanks Bryster.

 

TheBryster ( ) posted Sat, 01 October 2011 at 8:49 AM
Forum Moderator

Loved that one, Tjohn.

Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader

All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster


And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...

bobbystahr ( ) posted Sat, 01 October 2011 at 10:32 AM

ditto to what Chris wrote .  ..   ...

 

Once in a while I look around,
I see a sound
and try to write it down
Sometimes they come out very soft
Tinkling light sound
The Sun comes up again



 

 

 

 

 

pipp44 ( ) posted Fri, 07 October 2011 at 5:40 AM

No. 3 did it for me


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