Attached Link: http://www.4shared.com/office/Xnw6eCmr/Busy_Day.html

Okay, so I was looking for a way to make some money with Poser. Now I like to write and have tried to make comics for the web (Android, Crickett McGuire), but I haven't tried to sell them or make any money off of them. But I thought I'd try something in the same general area.

I've written a children's book. First Draft, with Poser illustrations, and I've uploaded the PDF to the internet. It won't stay there long, but I would love to hear from any of you that would like to read it and give me your opinion.

It is a children's book and I tried to keep the age range between toddler and first grade.

You can download the book using the included link.

There are a few guys at renderotica who make and sell comics. They have some good tips for people trying comics , even if the subject matter is quite different. 

This isn't really my world, but for what it's worth, here's some feedback.

A typo jumped out at me although I wasn't really looking for them: "they're prayers" should be "their prayers".

(As an aside: nobody in my somewhat secular humanist social-cultural circle is going to find this an acceptable book for their kids because of the prayers. That is not a criticism, and I'm sure you have a target audience with kids praying as the norm, I'm just saying...)

Story and writing style seems fine for your target demographic.

To be frank, the illustrations look a bit "cheap" to me. I'm surprised because I've seen some of your work and normally it's a lot better!

In particular, the second scene in the park, where one sees the kids from behind and a see-saw and slide in the background. The photo background is very obviously hacked together and the see-saw seems to cast no shadow. while in the next pic it casts two shadows.

Kids may not care about that, but consider that an adult - either a parent or a publisher - is going to be the person paying the money.

Oh, and in this day and age, packaging is everything. Make a funky cover with a stunning picture. It sounds a bit cynical, but it makes economic sense to spend as much time on your cover as on all the other illustrations put together.

The composition of the illustrations look pretty good to me, but the backgrounds don't work for me at all. I'd spend more time on that area myself, like using a decent 3d model of a bedroom, better grass textures, a better sky, that kind of stuff. Shoot for either realism or a toon vibe, you are stuck somewhere between.

Anyway, what do I know? I'm just a rock'n'roll cliche musician kind of bloke fuelled by curry and beer. But perhaps I've given you food for thought...

If you're considering making comics to sell, you might consider DriveThruComics.com as a potential outlet.  They allow a pretty wide range of stuff, including graphics novels, fiction, science fiction, etc.   Sites are run by OneBookShelf.com who I've found very easy to work with.  Just create your stuff in PDF form and follow their guidelines and you'll be published in no time.

Speaking as a mom the book is cute. I don't know if I'd buy it for my kid (if I had one at that age) but I'd get it out of the library.

Speaking as a preschool teacher, it probably would not be very popular. The idea that 2 young kids would be allowed to go down the streeet alone would cause a scandle. Also that Billy did something his mom wouldn't approve of (hanging upside down on the monkey bars) would also be frowned upon. It also may be seen as encouraging kids to do something dangerous. The story lacks something. Most kids books have a moral or lesson or a problem that needs solving or something silly happening. Something that would either hold the child's intrest or make the adult think it's something the kids need to hear. Finally, the pictures need more colors. Most seem to be alot of blue green and white. Those can be calming colors which would be good for a bedtime book but this is a busy kid book. I don't fully agree with Captainmarc that the parents are going to worry about shadows. What stood out more for me was that some pages had alot of background detail, like the slide and swings but other places it was just flat grass and gray sky. If you are adding sky it should be bright blue like a sunny day.

Look at some of the authors (and illustrators) who have stood the test of time, Dr Seus, Eric Carle (the favorite in every one of my classes), Jan and Stan Baranstain, Richard Scarry. None use realisctic pictures, though you can do that, but they make them colorful and fun for the kids.

I'm sorry I hope I'm not coming off too harsh. It's a nice start. Try reading it to some local kids. See what they think. Also show it to some moms and teachers and get their opinions. Keep trying.

I would definitely echo everything RedPhantom says above... relative to any venture into writing and illustrating for kids.

There are simply so many amazing contemporary children's books out there now... on top of the classics mentioned, like Dr Seus, Richard Scary et al.

If this is an area you're interested in going into, I'd definitely suggest reading as much of the existing range of children's literature as you can, from your local bookshop and library, to guage the existing market and also get inspired generally.

;-)

for my tuppence worth, my mother wrote childrens stories for many years that were broadcast on the radio during "listen with mother" a childrens story on the radio in the 50s and 60s, if you would like i can put you in contact with her, she still writes profusely, not published nowadays but has entertained generations of us, family, freinds and aquaintances. She is in her 80's now and has in the last few years become proficient with serrif to illustrate her stories......

I would also imagine that many publishers have guidelines as to what is acceptable for publications aimed at specific age groups these days, like i said just my tuppence worth..oh yes one last thing, the million dollar question, (and this isn't a criticism,it is the question the publisher will ask himself,  i only read the preview that 4shared would allow me to without registering) how different and exciting is it?

I did not read it but skimmed through the pages because I am looking for something.

Just what I thought.

I have perhaps a reasonable suggestion.

I think your comic Busy Day is a "one shot" comic. That means the kids will have the impression to expect nothing more after turning off their tablets.

There is no more "demand" after you closed the book.

I believe its very important for the success of any book is to not to be forgotten by promising that there is more to come.

I love your online comics because there is something for me to look forward to and most of all, the ADVENTURE!

I suggest you stick to make adventure stories since you are good at it and then tone it down that the kids will be able to appreciate it.

Make every page a page turner and at the end page a TO BE CONTINUED and then a full page ad of your other titles with a catchy description of what its all about.

If you do these then you can deal with moms like RedPhantom gracefully because she will have no choice but to give in with her kids demands to get your new comic since they are showing great interest to read.

Just look at Harry Potter. Its not a one shot thing. Its a book series. Give them something to look forward to and stick with what you know.

Okay, just to address a few issues pointed out already,

1. The typo- caught it myself, but when you've been stariung at something for hours it's a lot of little things you just don't catch at first.

2. Prayers- Can't please everyone.

3. Second scene in the park- not a photo hack. It was the DAZ Cyclorama. It's somewhat dated I suppose though, so maybe I can do something about that.

4. Landscape- If there's a problem for some folks to read it that way, I can do it portrait style. Not a problem, and a good point for me to consider.

5. Please remember that this is only a first rough draft for both the writing and the artwork.

6. It's not meant to be a comic, but I get the point.

Now to address something specific that Red Phantom pointed out:

"Speaking as a preschool teacher, it probably would not be very popular. The idea that 2 young kids would be allowed to go down the streeet alone would cause a scandle."

Ahh, I guess times have changed. When I was a kid I was all over my neighborhood. Of course, everybody knew who I was and who my mother was so if I did anything to get in trouble you could be sure she would hear about it.

Still, I get the point and I thought that by pointing out that the playground was just down the street it meant that they were close to home. They didn't even have to cross the street. Not like when I was a kid, I crossed streets, railroad tracks, branches and streams. I made Tom Sawyer look homebound.

maybe you've hit on something there Eric, your childhood story interwoven with the moralistic and health and safety conscious society we now live in, you could do pretty much what you wanted in that story as long as you point out the error of your ways by clever comparative narrative.

Quote - maybe you've hit on something there Eric, your childhood story interwoven with the moralistic and health and safety conscious society we now live in, you could do pretty much what you wanted in that story as long as you point out the error of your ways by clever comparative narrative.

Hmm, you mean, doing something like a "Wonder Years"  or a "Christmas Story" type of story?

something along those lines eric, fictionalise the account of your childhood and bring it into today, for example, grandfather tells the stories to the children, they find themselves transported back into the story and learn valuable life lessons in the comparison tales, most kids stories have either a lesson or moral values hidden in there somewhere.. just an idea, done well can be a great story, and theres probably been many similar sorts done through the years, but you could say that about wizards, faeries, talking animals etc.......maybe its the rocking chair that grandpa reads from contains the magic, i dont know lol

Quote - oh yes one last thing, the million dollar question, (and this isn't a criticism,it is the question the publisher will ask himself,  i only read the preview that 4shared would allow me to without registering) how different and exciting is it?

I'll let you decide that if you like. You can sitemail me your email address and I can email you a copy of the book.