Why do you eat brains? Why not something else, like the spleen?

Hey, I know all about discrimination. As a Yeti, I've had to put up with it all my life. People calling me Skunk Ape and Bigfoot, employers saying "we'll call you if we ever need a RUG". People think there's equality now just because there are no more "humans only" signs on public toilets, but really all that means is that they don't want us shitting in their car windows anymore. They're just polite as can be when they come walking through our part of town. Walk fast, say nothing, keep your head down. Damn right, they'd BETTER, or we'll bust a size 24 Reebok off in their asses. Go ahead PINK BOY, c'mon down to MY neighborhood and call me a bigfoot, I DARE you.

WyldeSnake, just to clarify: We waste nothing. Spleens is good eatin', after all. Especially with pesto and grave dirt. The eating of brains is a deeply spiritual thing in our culture (not that you every see Hollywood portray it that way, bah), but sort of hard to explain to a quick (don't be offended, some of my best friends are quick).

Quick, as in what, not undead? Dont worry, it should be easy to explain to me, after all, I'm a friggin cornsnake here. I hear you guys on the whole discrimination issue...You ever seen a snake try to pick up chicks? It just doesnt fly...They just point at you and scream, and then run away really fast. And I'm just a nice guy! Sure, I got a hard, tough exterior, but everyonce in a while I shed, and there's a soft side to me then. Cant say I can make the same threats as Legume up there...Maybe I could fling a size 24 Reebok at someone with my tail. Anyways, I'll just hang out in the tall grass, where nobody can see me lurk.

Well, WyldeSnake, my people believe that you don't really understand someone until you've eaten their brain. Man, now I'm all hungry and stuff, and the dang vending machine is out of everything except kidneys and Milk Duds.

BTW, WyldeSnake, what's the employment situation for cornsnakes? Just curious.

Pretty grim, my friend, pretty grim...Havent had a job in a while here. Same problem as with meeting girls...people tend to see me and just run away screaming without getting to know me.

Same here, WyldeSnake. Though some folks DO try to take pictures of us farting on campfires and such.

They should pay you for putting you in a photo shoot you weren't asked to be in...Pay you handsomely (or at least, pay a lot) for it.

I need another cup of coffee. One isn't going to get me through this business of zombies farting in car windows before shedding their skins so that they can run in high heels....

i think i just woke up in the middle of a Laurel Hamilton novel... cool!