Dawn Whisps of mist rise slowly Moistening chill morning air. Burnished leaves glisten gently Holding jewels of dew so fair. Sunbeams caress sleepy hills Folding all in warm embrace, Creeping over shuttered sills Kissing each awakening face. Words just appeared as I was sitting at work with nothing to do. I don't know if it should have another stanza or not. I wasn't coming up with any good lines. What do you think?

In the second stanza in the first two lines your focusing on the hills, on the last two lines your focusing on windows and then people. Try to imagine if this were a video and each time you changed the focus the picture changed. Your trying to hold a mood, which you do quite well for the first six lines the change in focus is like two rapid scene changes. In a quatrain this causes some confusion. I understand what you're trying to say but in this case I think maybe there should have been three quatrains to soften the transition and keep the mood. It's kinda like saying a reallllly slow opening but to curt an end to go with it.

Yup, i agree with you. I just kinda got stuck.

You did capture the kind of morning I saw when I woke, except that my windows have blinds and the sunlight was released into my room with the help of a cat's paw. If this is a work in progress, I think tjames has a point about the order in which the sunlight progresses as it burns away the fog and makes everything glisten in the early morning. For me, this morning was grey with fog, and everything outside was heavy with moisture. Then the sun broke over the hills, and the light spread to highlight the dewdrops lingering on the leaves and spiderwebs in my bushes. It's only when the sunlight strikes the droplets that they really look like jewels. Finally then the light came into the windows (with my cat's help). But you have to write what you saw and experienced and perhaps it looked differently this morning to you than it did to me. Having nothing to do with your poem: ne of my favorite things is to see a large spider web glittering in the morning sun. It is then you can see clearly the elegant design. My industrious spider is the size of my thumb, grey and quite demure, but her skill as a web weaver is unmatched. Thank you for helping me recall the lovely start to this morning. :)

Spider webs are beautiful when beaded with dew drops. What talented little creatures they are! This poem will definitely be reworked at some point when I can see what I was trying to capture more clearly.

It would make for a pretty graphic to have the spider web in the foreground with the beading of the dew along the silky strands, and then behind and beyond the morning sun coming into the picture. It seems as if I must have seen such a graphic because it is so clear in my mind what it looks like. Hmmm...guess I'll have to search the galleries now.

how about for stanza 2 Sunbeams caress this sleepy place; And find the darkened sills; To kiss awake the silent face; In homes upon the hills. Well I tried to keep your structure intact TBT to the artist. (to be true)

Gives me an idea, tjames. thanks

For a split second, I thought that the line "Words just appeared" was part of a third stanza. You could have your third stanza be the poet/narrator reflecting or contrasting their own situation with the one outside, not necessarily a melancholy scene, but a contemplative one.

I'd make one minor change in the second stanza:

Creeping over shuttered sills
Kissing each awakened face.

To me, it sets up a more parallel structure.

I agree with the others; I definitely want to see a third stanza to finish this.

Oh shucks...and I thought it transitioned well albeit a bit fast. As TJ said, think of a video. Since I just viewed another one of Phoul's annimations, I can see him doing it easily as written. Nice words to "just appear".