I just received news, a year after the fact, that my mother had died. This brings up a series of emotions and thoughts. I think creativity and sensitivity are tied in with the same forces that can leave some of us unable to cope with Life and Reality. My mother had such a struggle until her death That very struggle set up the distance between us that was only accentuated by the divorce when I was a teenager. Right now I am angry that I never had a chance to say goodbye or I love you. Do yourself a favor. If you are an artist, be proud of your talent. Draw. Share those talents with others. Give it away, sell it. But let others know you're an artist and proud. And if you have loved ones, tell them you love them. Every chance you get. You may never know if this chance is the last chance.

Ron, Please, know that somehow a mother knows, even though you may not have had a chance to tell her, That you loved her, she knew, and that no matter the reason that you were distanced from her, she understood, that is why moms are moms. And also take comfort in the fact that as you typed this message she has seen your words. I will keep you in my prayers, and my deepest sympathy to you at this time. Take care, and God Bless you. Sallie

Thanks Sallie.

Hi Ron, I read your post earlier today, but wasn't sure how to respond. The only thing I can say is that it is my faith in Jesus Christ that helps me through issues like what you are describing. I hope that doesn't sound like a "pat" answer. I just think that there are issues in life that are really too much to bear and we need Someone bigger to turn to. You'll be in my prayers, too. God bless you, Jay P.S. It is not intention to offend anyone with my reference to religious faith. I realize that this is not a religious forum, but I think Ron's post warrants this answer. - Jay

You didn't offend you. I won't give you the entire story about how Religion and Faith fits into my family history. But I will state I am a Minister's Son and a Minister's Husband. If you want to carry on anything more personal you can always IM me.

Ron, I think Pokeydots is right, a parent's love runs deeper than anyone can imagine. I have been separated from my two daughters since 1995 and went a miserable 6year streach not even knowing where they where or if they where o.k. I know our situations are a mile apart in differences, but 'a parent's love' I feel is the same in any case. My thoughts are with ya, and 'you' as an artist have everything to be proud of! - In life, we never realy know what we have, untill it's lost -

Ron, I'm not a religious person, but I believe very strongly in the power of love. Just as you remember your mother in a loving light, I'm sure that she she's your mother, after allalways thought of you that way, as a loved one. It is regrettable that you didn't have a final farewell, but this tie that you loved one another in life; that your thoughts of one another will always balance towards love this will bind you for all time. Peace to you.

Attached Link: http://www.ronknights.com/dodi/index.html

I deeply appreciate all the kind words of support. The problem with Life and Love is that one cannot always stay with the other. You can deeply love someone but know the best thing you can do for yourself, or them is to be apart. That was the decision my father had to make when I was a teenager and my mother "became ill" one more time. My mother's continued mental illness was the chief instrument in keeping us apart. And the distance was also a way of insulating myself, in an effort to preserve my own sanity. I am grateful for one thing. My mother was still alive when I shared the news that I had reunited with my high school sweetie, after 33 years. We were married a couple years ago. I couldn't invite my mother, but she did get the news. She was happy for us, and I know she was happy that one of her sons found true love and happiness. If you want to read our story, just follow the link on this message.

ron, my sympathies and my heart go out to you. I agree with pokeydots, a mom is a mom and she knew...even if you aren't sure that she did. :) I know what it's like to lose that part of you that you called "mom" and it's a hard thing to have happen. And I agree with you, hug your loved ones tight and close and tell them how you feel, none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Take care of yourself and God Bless. Pendy

Thanks, Pendy.

Gosh Ron, I just want to reach out and touch ya, so please consider yourself hugged tight by this somewhat tempermental elf :) If you need anything please, just yank my chain and I'll be more then happy to be a sounding board or a shoulder. :)

I know I'm new to the Renderosity scene, and don't know many people here that well, but Ron, my thoughts are with you. I have lost a number of loved ones in the past few years and a there were a few I did not get to say good bye to. Battles of the heart are never easy to deal with, but Pokeydots is right, a mom knows..somehow she knows. I wish you a happy holiday and a prosperous new year. And whenever you feel lonely or you miss your mom, just look up, she's watching over you. Trust me, she is.

Haven't been on line for about a day and a half due to pc probs, so a bit late here, but ironic, because today would have been my Mum's birthday, only I lost her last year. I hadn't seen her for several years, but at least I am eternally grateful my brother phoned me to let me know a week before, so I did get a chance to see her again, and it was just like I had seen her only the day before, no recriminations or anything. So as has been said Mums do know, and love you regardless. My keyboard may never recover from the tears as I type this but remember to remember the goodtimes, That's important. Big hugs and loads of them

Tnanks for the kind words, and shared memories, my friends.

I just want to say this thread started out with actually two subjects. One was creativity. It seems sometimes there is a correlation between creativity, and emotional sensitivity, or perhaps even tendencies to mental illness. I see my mother's emotional illness as coming from the same seeds or force that gave me great sensitivity and eventually a very strong creative force. I often battle between the sensitivity/creativity and the emotional upheaval.