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Subject: Repost: you know you've been using Poser too long when:


WilloW ( ) posted Mon, 30 August 1999 at 1:28 PM · edited Mon, 25 November 2024 at 11:42 PM

From the early days of the forum when we were all obsessed with the new release of Poser3: ddral 6:33 pm Saturday August 1, 1998 You know you've been using Poser too long when: You spend three hours tweaking the thickness of your figure's eyelashes. In order to save more PZ3s you free up some HD space by deleting unnecessary files: MS Word, Adobe Photoshop, Netscape, DOS, c:windowssystem... Your figures are the closest thing you've seen to actual people in a week. You apologize out loud to your figures when you bend or twist them too far. There's a fist-sized hole in the wall with the words "error -50" written above it. You move your arm, and wonder why it doesn't turn into green rectangles when it's in motion.


WilloW ( ) posted Mon, 30 August 1999 at 1:31 PM

ou convert your nude figures to clothed ones because you think they're getting chilly. Your nude figures actually TELL you that they're chilly. You have nightmares in which your figures make adjustments to you. You write Metacreations an angry letter because they didn't include a kayak prop. While trying to teach your dog to sit, you wonder why his butt doesn't sink into the floor. The dog's name is "Quaternion". You see the Dancing Baby AVI and sneer at its crudeness. You're reading the Poser forum on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.


BillBay ( ) posted Tue, 31 August 1999 at 12:06 AM

(Moved Thread Plus a few more:)

  • Your arthritis is flaring up from trying to get your forearm twisted 270 degrees, with out moving your shoulder....
  • You now dream in purple mesh mode....
  • There are remarkable similarities between your brother in law and the Ultimate Ogre....
  • You read your email Replies from the Poser Forum before customer Inquiries to your website....
  • Your wife hires a contractor to finish the kitchen, 'cause you NEED to spend time morphing a Slugg....
  • 35 years after the Boogie Man has left your closet, the Joint Parameter Monster now sleeps under your bed....
  • Thinking of yourself as a lover of Fairies is cool....
  • You order Poser 4 again and give it to your oldest and dearest friend, so you have something to talk about together....
  • You are disappointed in your wife 'cause she doesn't bend that way, try as she might.....
  • At 4:00AM your wife shakes you awake and angrily asks from clenched teeth...WHO IS Willow?....
  • Shutting off your monitor yields a permanently etched image of a download window...
  • When looking in the mirror you realize that compared to you, the P4 Male isn't REALLY that Dorky looking....
  • At the first site of an image in the gallery, you say to yourself...'that's voodoos work'...before his name loads....
  • Considering putting Traveler in your will is an idea worth mentioning to your wife....
  • Friends tell you they are tired of you saying 'Go like this....and turn around'....
  • Attention to tlaubach's texture detail is more important than brushing your teeth in the morning....


BillBay ( ) posted Tue, 31 August 1999 at 12:08 AM
  • You check The Forum before you have coffee in the morning....
  • You read the Forum before you check your Email at work....
  • You make the FedEx man who has your new 8 gig hard drive wait on the porch till you finish reading Spikes tutorial....
  • Your Secretary has to put ALL your calls into voicemail 'cause bloodsong just finished the geese...
  • Since Poser 4 came out and you are suddenly one MORE payment behind on your leased vehicle...
  • Your cat is engaged in a life or death struggle with a racoon in the back yard, but you wait till radart's "Answer" finishes loading
  • The smoke alarm goes off and you shutdown, disconnect the hard drive, put it in your car, and then go find out where the fire is...
  • During graduation for your youngest kid, you wonder if Steve Shanks is working on a graduation gown, and how would you morph it to flow like that, and you missed getting him coming into the hall on the camcorder, 'cause you were zoomed in on the hem of a gown on someone else's kid...
  • You have your office rearranged so no one can see your monitor from the door cause there are about 950 Gallery images....
  • You run two sessions of Netscape tiled horizontally, 'cause the Forum and the Props Guild both have downloads....
  • 'Use Limits' pops into your head during the heat of passion....
  • The million dollar project you quoted in June needs to be requoted 'cause it REALLY needs a better 3D rendered drawing, which includes Mimi401 dressed in a lab coat....
  • All recent pictures of your wife show her in the Default pose....
  • Your cat is afraid of you 'cause you keep trying to get it to snarl to see how it should REALLY look....
  • Your wife catches you naked in front of the full length mirror with a Digital Camera holding your arms out straight....


WilloW ( ) posted Tue, 31 August 1999 at 12:14 AM

You're on a roll Bill - this stuff is Classic! I am a bit concerned about that last one however!


BillBay ( ) posted Tue, 31 August 1999 at 7:16 PM

TeeHee...Don't worry Willow only 99.5% of these have actually occured....um....99.9....well, all right... most of them, but I'm feeling MUCH better now.

  • Your Netscape Personal Tool Bar Folder has Poser Links in 90% of the spaces...
  • You delete MSPaint 'cause it takes up too much space....
  • The Boss asks you to leave work two hours early and have a drink with him, and you refuse 'cause you need to get home and start D/Ling....
  • Realizing that excessive weld spatter could easily be avoided by not going past 1.0 on the machine settings....
  • You begin signing Purchase Orders with BillBay....
  • You get mad at a parts vendor because thier documentation doesn't include a model in .OBJ or .3DS format....
  • You've been online for 490 minutes....and it's time to go home from work.....
  • You only realized last night that you can export in Metastream format, that you are a Website Developer, and the day only has 24 hours in it....
  • The wife suggests we need an activity to do together... and you offer to upgrade her machine to 400mz with a network card, and buy her Poser....


fur ( ) posted Tue, 31 August 1999 at 7:24 PM
  • You are working 10 hours a day at work because you are going final next week, and still come home and spend 4 hours nursing a sick PFO server....


BillBay ( ) posted Fri, 03 September 1999 at 5:39 PM

You realize you must be the only one on the Forum who apparently does not have your addition under control...cause you're the only one besides Roy posting to this goofy thread. 8^|


WilloW ( ) posted Fri, 03 September 1999 at 5:47 PM

Everyone else is just in denial!


BAM ( ) posted Fri, 03 September 1999 at 6:51 PM

Willow, I know that ya'll want to keep the number of stored messages down, but I definitely think this thread should live on under Poser Forum Content on the right. A small area called humor would be great!


WilloW ( ) posted Fri, 03 September 1999 at 7:08 PM

some of the best will be going in the Poser Zine issues.


LilWolff ( ) posted Fri, 03 September 1999 at 10:26 PM

ROTFL oh my gosh, these are good! But one problem.. I am starting to see myself in these posts! This place is addictive and so is poser. But I thought it was normal to talk to the people but did think it was a little bit strange when they started talking back to me. But Willow says is ok, they do tell her when they are chilly. Mine just say STOP trying to do that Then I say sorry, did not mean to twist your arm like that. smiles


BillBay ( ) posted Fri, 03 September 1999 at 11:03 PM
  • You keep a snorkel handy in the pool to observe proper swim poses from below...
  • You begin watching Farscape 'cause Zhaan's texture makes you weak in the knees...
  • You know if you don't buy Zygote's eagle by midnight, American Products, Inc. will call at 8:00AM for a website...
  • The sound of the chimes on NBC makes you see Anton's peacock....
  • A 'Caught C Exception' sound from the computer sends your cat scurrying for the backdoor...
  • You begin having a re-occuring nightmare of a Creeper walking behind you....
  • You are feeling totally inadequate 'cause you don't know what 'ROTFL' and 'LOL' mean, but you've been around so long, you're embarrassed to ask anybody NOW....
  • You refuse to cut down the Weaping Willow 'cause you've strangely become fond of it...

sigh.... still not cured....


BillBay ( ) posted Fri, 03 September 1999 at 11:36 PM

You look up the word zygote and find:

  • zygote: a cell formed by the union of two gametes...and
  • gametes: a mature male or female germ cell usually possessing a haploid chromosome set and capable of initiating formation of a new diploid individual by fusion with a gamete of the opposite sex...and
  • diploid: a single cell, individual, or generation characterized by the diploid chromosome number...and
  • haploid: having the gametic number of chromosomes or half the number characteristic of somatic cells...and
  • Forget what you wanted to know for anyway....


BillBay ( ) posted Sat, 04 September 1999 at 12:01 AM

You discover that 'Poser Forum' is defined as: A public meeting place for open discussion of a puzzling or baffling question.... I think I need some sleep.....zzzzzzzzzzz


bloodsong ( ) posted Sat, 04 September 1999 at 1:59 PM

(wohooo! i am imortalized! i made billbay's top 500 list of poser addictions!) - you vote for billbay as SlugMaster of the World, and follow him around like a groupie (for a short time). - your friend/spouse/family member complains about how they look, and you help by giving them the url to morph world.


bloodsong ( ) posted Sat, 04 September 1999 at 2:03 PM

you know you're addicted to poserforum when... - the pfo server goes down, and it totally ruins your social life and plans for the evening. :)


grey ( ) posted Sat, 04 September 1999 at 2:09 PM

Oh, you JUST killed me... You know you're using Poser too long when you've read all the new forum messages six times before the next post arrives, and you feel all gooey inside when you see it's there...


Foxhollow ( ) posted Sat, 04 September 1999 at 4:52 PM

You know you're using Poser too long when: You sit here and read ALL of BillBay's replies...all the way thru!


bloodsong ( ) posted Sat, 04 September 1999 at 6:16 PM

you know you're addicted to poserforum when... - you just HAVE to create a killer pic/model/prop/texture to post, or you'll feel left out. - if you don't have a killer pic/model/prop/texture to post, you post a lame one, just to have comments. - if you don't even have a lame pic/model/prop/texture, you make up a question or bug report to post and get replies to. - if you can't make up a question or a bug, you rack your brain to post to this thread.... - and, you don't feel worthwhile as a human being until somebody replies to you. ;D ( oh... and you feel SOOO special when your name makes it as a topic or reply subject!! wohoo! i'm famous! ) (and dont laugh, grey, that social life comment is true for me! :) )


Sanitarium ( ) posted Mon, 06 September 1999 at 9:41 AM

one more for ya your self-esteem is destroyed when you realize the 'art' you have been making, is actually lame in comparrison to all the others 'quick pics'!


tlaubach ( ) posted Mon, 06 September 1999 at 1:22 PM

Wow... what a fantastic thread. I've got to admit that sometimes I see people on the street and as they walk by I have a reaction like, "Gee, their 'round nose' dial was set way too high." And I'll admit that I've been online all day from work in the past.. Hmm.... Now that I think about it.. I'm guilty of almost everything in this list! It's true! It's all true! I'm addicted to Poser, it's taken over my life! Oh well... Can't say it bothers me...


buckrogers ( ) posted Thu, 30 September 1999 at 2:04 PM

I see the Stealth Bomber and my first thought is that it wouldn't need many polygons to model it because of all the big flat surfaces and straight edges on it.


buckrogers ( ) posted Thu, 30 September 1999 at 2:48 PM

"Mowgli" is one of those mysterious names on the startup screen of Poser 3, rather than Rudyard Kipling's character. (Where such a surname as "Windos" come from, anyway??)


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