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Bryce F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Oct 30 3:44 am)
Subject: OT:More Pun-ishment for you
and a reply:
Two Hutterites walk into a pet shop in Swift Current and head directly to the bird section.
Jacob, the Preacher, says to John, the Farm Boss, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, ve'll take four of dem little budgies in dat cage up der,' says John.
The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Jacob and John pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into the colony van and drive over to the train trellis bridge.
From the top of the bridge, John looks down at the 200-foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'
He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the bridge.
Jacob watches as John falls all the way to the bottom.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Jacob shakes his head and says:
'Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous fer me.'
BUT WAIT!!!! there's MORE!
PART TWO:
Moments later Isaac, the Hog Boss, arrives up on the bridge.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the bridge carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hey, Jacob, vatch dis,' Isaac says.
He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself off the bridge.
Jacob watches as halfway down, Isaac takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Isaac continues to plummet until he hits the bottom.
Jacob shakes his head and says, 'Ya, und I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either.'
BUT WAIT!!!!.....
PART THREE:
Jacob is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Abe, the Chicken Boss, appears.
He's carrying an old potato sack out of which he pulls a chicken -- one of those old layer hens.
Abe then grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the bridge and disappears down and down until he too hits bottom.
Jacob shakes his head in sadness.
'First der vas John wid his budgie jumping, den Isaac parrotshooting......und now we've lost Abe hengliding.
Once
in a while I look around,
I see
a sound
and
try to write it down
Sometimes
they come out very soft
Tinkling light sound
The Sun comes up again
A termite goes into a beer joint, hops up on a barstool and yells, "Hey, is the bar tender here?"
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
You know? I'm very worried about you lot. :scared:
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
Man walks in to a bar and says 'ouch! - it was an iron bar................
One for the Brits...
How many G4S Olympic security guards does it take to change a lightbulb?
3 Soldiers and a policeman............!
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
Hey Dawg!
This IS the nuthouse.
:laugh:
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
Quote - One for the Brits... How many G4S Olympic security guards does it take to change a lightbulb?
3 Soldiers and a policeman............!
Here they need a van and 4 police officers if a single bicyclist is riding without a light during a dusky time of the day.
They also need 2 vans, 2 cars and 2 motormice, (with a total of 12 police men) to extract one guy from a bus for posessing an opened can of soda.
Meanwhile, if a storm blows a thick heavy tree over, and it lays all the way across one of amsterdams busiest streets blocking the pavement, bike lanes, car lanes ánd tram rails in both directions, they send one poor schmuck on a bicycle... :P
(_/)
(='.'=)
(")(")This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
signature to help him gain world domination.
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