Hello Kupa, Jackson here. Remember me? I would like you to know that today is my birthday. I'd also like you to know that I'm old and all alone with just my dog and cat to help me celebrate. My family is all gone. I have no food and my birthday cake will be an old cookie I found in the cupboard. You already know that I am retired and living on a meager disability pension. Now that you're feeling sorry for me, I'd also like you to know that YOU and ONLY you can cure my blues and make this birthday a happy one! Doesn't that make you feel good? All you have to do is grant one wish from this poor old soul. No, I'm not going to ask for a full, shrink-wrapped Poser 5, that would be greedy and unfair to others (see, I'm selfless, too). My one birthday wish is for you to IM me or email me with either one of two things, in order of preference: 1. an ftp address on your server where I can download the latest beta of P5 before it went gold, or 2. an ftp address on your server where I can download the P5 manual. That's not too much for a starving old man to ask for his birthday is it? By the way, you have an NDA from me already. Anthony knows about it. Okay. That's it. I'll just sit here and wait for the IM or the email (you have my address). Thanking you in advance. Sincerely, Jackson PS: I forgot...I'm overweight and smoke. I could be dead any minute. You wouldn't want me to kick off without granting my birthday wish would you? Think how long that would weigh on your consious. A terrible, terrible thing to have to live with!

Jackson,
I'm glad to see you've regained the use of your finger. I'm sure it's been hell typing on your keyboard by sticking a pencil in your mouth.

I saw your ex-wife last week backstage at the Ozzy concert. It looked like she was trying to persuade one of the roadies to.. but never mind, you don't want to hear about that wierd thing she does with her stump anymore. Do you?

I've gotta admit, she looks preserved for her age. I guess the old Jack Daniels thing ya'll showed me really does work. She was wearing one of those Britney Spears bare-midriff things. Dang, did she have that much navel hair when you were married?

You'll be pleased to know that your daughter's picture is off our Post Office wall. I hope she made a good plea-bargain. I agree with you, it wasn't her fault. They should have hunted down that rat you sold her to.

Oh, and some people in suits were here last week asking about you. They said something about a "Darwin Award." I know you value your privacy so I told 'em you were still in the intensive care unit.

I didn't realize it was your birthday - I hope I'm not too late to wish you a Happy one. I remember last year, that hooker jacked your wheel chair and you looked so funny flopping around in the drainage ditch. Woah, we've had some great times, haven't we.

May the Kupa be with you!

Boba that is by far the funniest thing I have heard. And jackson best of luck man, best of luck

Funny??? You think this is funny? Well let me tell you one thing. Jackson is by far one of the finest men I know. Why, a lot of you might not know this and I'm sure he's too modest to tell you this himself, but he once saved his toenail clippings for a whole year just so he could donate 'em to the starving children in India to use to fill their pillows so they could sleep comfortably during the hot monsoon season. No one had to ask him. He'd read in National Geographic about how the humidity caused feather pillows to rot so he took the initiative! Back during that Lorena Bobbit incident, he was the first civilian to offer to donate his services to form a search party and look for the missing member. When those terrible hurricanes swept through Florida a few years back, destroying all them businesses and homes, it was Jackson that started the "S*** Happens" campaign to provide moral support and encouragement to the victims. Next time you see one of those bumper sticker you can thank Jackson! When Charlie had me pinned down back in '73, and I thought I was for sure a dead man, it was Jackson who ran, ran, ran, through a hellish nightmare of bodies flying every which way and the tortured screaming of young blondes and brunettes, just to pry him off of me. I learned two things that day. First, don't make fun of those guys on the cheerleading squad. Second, if a rattlesnake were to bite me on the hiney, I could trust Jackson to be the one who'd suck out the poison. In my book, Jackson IS "the man" (meaning no offence to you Mr. Kupa). If I have to grow up. I want to be just like him. Except for the finger thing. It's NOT funny. And a Big "Happy Day After Your Birthday" to you, Jackson!