Interesting visuals this bit inspires. Hmmm syntax poor is my, type it again I must.

Thanks all of you for your assistance and advice. Sometimes the things that pop into your head dont look the same on paper.. as dialyn said.. and you are just not sure what would happen IF. dialyn why would you say you have no place in that thread? it was good advice!

I can see them slavering now. In my own tight little cliche'd way... may I say.. Bravo!

Is it not more about control of whatever resources the "other side" may hold than about morality?

I particularly found this passage strong and moving: "To a door, some random door. Rain falls my vision is blurred. You lead me along in the darkness And you create the light Im shrouded by darkness, I find the light, And stare into your eyes. The eyes that make me so blind, So blind that I did not see it, So blind that when it happened, The shock took control. The rain cries for me, because I can not cry. The sun rises for me every day, Only to again, disappear behind the clouds. To hide from me yet again." Some of the rest seemed a bit disjointed to me, like it was leading somewhere but never quite made it. Keep writing hon.. you have promise!

great question.. what is it?

Lovely story! Family is our greatest pleasure and our biggest trial. Remember the good moments and make a funny story out of the rest.

Hey Alex, nerd is not a bad word! Your poem is evocative which is good, maybe a bit repetitious for my personal taste. I really like the analogy of the girl being like a star.. so close and yet so far away. I have a daughter like that. In the same room but not on the same planet.

Oh, sorry tjames, it was not meant as a poem. It started as an essay that went horribly awry.

No, I do feel that punctuation is appropriate. And I do like jstro's version. I suppose I should have stated in the beginning that the poem was unpunctuated due to constraints of the contest it was submitted to. In my original version.. written while lazing in the tub I may add, it was indeed punctuated and most likely wrongly. I will not claim to be expert at punctuation. Would anyone buy it if I did?

Challenges, well, I write what I feel at the moment so it's hard to tell if what is challenged will be something I can write about. We will see. Thank you for your kind comments :D

In my humble opinion, the only way to 'make' an honest politician is to strip him/her of title and monies and force him to live with the common folk. Those who scramble for the day to day and the hand to mouth. Perhaps then government would be by the people and for the people. Ok rant over. Look tragedy in the eye and find the gift it brings to us.

One more small point, relinquishing control of night.. how about relinquishing control to night? I like how the disjointedness drags you along in a rush. I got a sense of danger and almost thrill from this.

So, basically what everyone is saying is that this would be better in a more connected style such as this? from the valley floor i watch as the first green-gold rays, a hint of glory to come, burst victoriously from behind blue mountains capped with blinding white. In the distance, dim and barely heard, the crow of a rooster; lowing of cattle. Snowbirds begin their daily hunt searching for seeds, berries to break nights fast. Overhead, eagle wheels silent in brightening sky; the clouds now rosy with morning, eyes focused on the river, hoping to spot the first sea-bound salmon. Coyote barks her last song of night, gathers her brood, and sleeps. Horse whickers and blows, stamps hooves on crystalline snow, breath clouds of steam which freeze, sparkle falling. Quail thunder from beneath sage, escaping, threatened by my proximity. Elk, grazing nearby in oat-fields unconcerned, know, today, i do not hunt. Daybreak breeze whispers through naked branches of spring trees, sends them trembling, as with cold... scatters powder snow from evergreens. Reminds me, i walk alone but not Alone... I sing a song of renewal, worship and dream of a cup of cocoa.... and home Actually the original posting won two prizes in local competition. This second is the way it was originally written.

chocolate is poetry of the Gods! Thanks for commenting Shanna, actually it is disjointed on purpose. I know most of the rules which is why I am determined to bend as many as possible! hugs and cocoa, Charmz