Bliss

Why gosh, I must be dreaming, for how else could this be true?
To stand here in a tidy flat of slobbish housemates two:

The kitchen sink is clean and bare, not heaped with pots and pans,
The garbage bins are fit for use, not brimming full with cans.

Where once the stovetop dripped with filth, now gleams and sparkles bright,
Those scraps of food which lined the floor, swept up and out of sight.

The bathroom towels hang neat and dry, not left in soggy piles,
The shower walls shine pearly white, the grime scrubbed from the tiles.

Cheap DVDs once strewn about, now smartly stacked away,
Worn undergarments draped on chairs, no longer on display.

My eyes beam wide in wonderment to see such hygiene met,
At last a home of cleanliness; not one unsightly threat.

A feat indeed for slobs as these, who'd never helped before,
The 'duo of disorder' vowed to not attempt a chore.

Though soon enough my frown returns with thoughts to make me weep:
In bed I find myself supine, just woken from a sleep.

The daydream gone, such fantasy, I rise with much disdain,
And sigh aloud to see the flat a pigsty once again.

--

Unfortunately for me this poem rings true; no exaggerations were made. Perhaps I should consider moving out. No, wait, I've only just moved in!
The next title suggests my current frame of mind.

Title: Murder at Midnight

Hearts so young and free:
Teenage love in sun-bright parks;
Smooch behind a tree.

:wub:

Here the growth will stall:
Spring has bloomed its final rose;
Summer hears its call.

--

Farewell Spring!
Looks like the nature show's over for another year; time to let things simmer a while. I've started a new Summer Haiku Challenge thread which can be accessed here.

Earth, fertile and warm;
Cradling seeds in loving arms,
Soon to take new form.

--

Not long until the sizzle of summer.

What The Fairies Left

Kind as fairies are thought to be,
It came as much surprise to me,
Whilst strolling through the forest bright,
To witness such an awful sight:

Ahead upon the footpath bare,
Did lay a bloodied lifeless hare.
Aghast, I hastened to his side,
Deeply fearing he may have died.

At length he roused and moaned in pain,
And turned in hoping to explain,
But from his mouth all swollen red,
Flowed blood alone and much it bled.

At once I saw the reason why:
His pearly whites in short supply,
Yanked from his gums without consent,
By thieves unknown, with much torment.

He blubbed and held his aching jaw,
And pointed on with outstretched paw,
No doubt towards the wretched foe,
Who stole his teeth and off did go.

Along the path in hot pursuit,
I quickly ran to find the loot.
Not far a journey I had made,
A second victim in a glade:

This time a little squirrel friend,
Had met the same horrific end.
With warm blood streaming down her face,
She wheezed and pointed where to chase.

Determined now to catch the crook,
To make them pay for all they took,
I hurried on beyond the trees,
Prepared to pounce, prepared to seize.

Alas! No! How can this be true!
Another prey, with more in view:
A trail of critters strewn about,
Bleeding with all their teeth pulled out.

But ha! In range I hear a cry,
Past yonder bush: the thief is nigh.
Without delay I charge ahead,
To view a scene of utmost dread.

There, limp upon the blood-soaked ground:
The figure of a crippled hound.
His mouth agape with canine gripped,
By pliers strong, and out was ripped.

Revealed now was the culprit small,
Indeed, the greatest shock of all:
A woodland nymph of virtue true,
Though with her mate, they numbered two.

Both cackled loud with evil eyes,
Despite the hound's continued cries,
And of the tooth they claimed their own,
Into a bag, now full, was thrown.

"Halt there!" I yelled, confused and cross,
My whirling thoughts were at a loss.
How could fairies, so kind and twee,
Perform such vile atrocity?

To maim poor creatures without care,
And take their teeth is just unfair.
The bandits spun and stared at me,
Then quickly grinned with plan to flee.

Decided now to take the plunge,
With mind resolved I made to lunge.
But swift enough not quite was I,
The fairies dodged and up did fly.

Hands high I leapt but failed to snatch,
Such magic skills I could not match.
Now out of reach their wings did take,
And to the skies their freedom make.

I cursed and cried, still answers sought,
Why such behaviour cruel was brought.
In kneeling down by hound bereft,
I spied a clue that had been left.

Beside his head there lay a note,
On which the thieving fairies wrote.
I clasped the message in my hand,
And read aloud a harsh demand:

'To creatures of the woodland shire,
With taxes high, such times are dire.
In order to achieve our dream,
New measures took will prove extreme.

'So not to wait till out teeth fall,
To expedite our coffer's call,
With aid of helpers slight but strong,
We'll boost our savings right along.

'Don't spoil things now with aim to fight,
Just be calm and all will be right.
Much blood, of course, there's sure to be,
Though worry not; be glad it's free.

'One final word, it must be said,
Oppose this law, I'll have you dead.
Now laugh and play, all be merry,
Lots of love, your kind Tooth Fairy.'

--

Wow, it certainly feels great to get back to writing poetry after such a time apart, and what an unexpected delight this poem was to craft; I always suspected fairies to have a dark side.
I went to the liberty of spelling 'faery' with an 'i', as that's how it's most commonly spelt. You'll hopefully also notice the stringent eight syllable count for each line, which helps the flow and pace of the story.
Looking forward to the next challenge.

Title: The Things I Like Most

I'm currently working on a poem which I'll be posting here very soon. This notice is just to prevent this thread from dropping off the bottom of the forum page and seemingly into the spaceless void of long-forgotten prose and poetry.
How sad! :sad: (Or is there an archive I'm unaware of?).

Forth the insects flock;
Swarm around your picnic lunch,
Gorging all but rock.

--

I thought it was about time to rejuvenate our poorly-neglected haiku challenge. :ohmy:
Spring still has some life in it yet.

Ah great, I'm very pleased to see continued enthusiasm for this thread. I myself have neglected to post a poem for some time, although I did whip up a quick one for my sister's birthday recently, which can be viewed here.

Lovely poem BJ.

Now, time for a bit of make-believe.

The Kitchen Table

True it seems, my love, that we have ventured every space;
Every nook of every room has known our passionate embrace:
From brisk boudoir gymnastics to a firm bonk in the shower,
To shagging madly upon the stairs, stopping only every hour.

A rogering in the sitting room, whilst watching the nightly news,
Or a quickie behind the laundry door before our midday snooze.
Not even are the kids' rooms spared when out they head to play,
As soon as they're gone we're up in their beds, happily grinding away.

From friendly hallway humpings to wrestling on the basement floor,
Those pleasurable porks in the pantry, so often it seems like a chore.
Randy romps on the patio, or in closets it's been said,
When rough and tumble is what we seek, we'll use the garden shed.

Indeed it seems that every spot has endured our fiery lust,
Though fret not, my love, as it happens, there is one last place to thrust:
Upon the kitchen table there, is our final sacred site,
To share our love and pasta-bake throughout this raunchy night.

--

Sorry, the idea just popped into my head and I couldn't resist. (Sorry also for any language considered inappropriate and/or offensive; it's all in fun.)

Dinhi: Nice work and imagery.
BJ: Simply wonderful imagery, and beautifully delivered; I have much to learn.

Title: The Curious Elephant

Migrating up north:
Flocks of birds take to the skies,
As Spring ushers forth.

Yeah! All the snow's thawed;
No more ski or snowfight fun:
Just sit about, bored.

BJ: Much better. You see how the first word can determine the direction in which the poem takes? (This heightens the challenge). A most excellent poem by the way; a touching storyline with thoughtful characters; I especially admire the rhyming.

One last thing, if you could precede the name of the next poem with 'Title: ' it would help to distinguish it better. Thanks, and keep up the great work everyone.

The Box in the Closet

Halt! Do not attempt to open
The box that lies within,
These closet doors are tightly shut
To shield your eyes from sin.

Alas, you shun this warning
And the doors apart you prise,
With thrill you stand there motionless,
Transfixed with eager eyes.

Upon the topmost dusty shelf
Lies hid the jewel so sought,
A humble, string-tied cardboard box,
Indeed, who would have thought?

With delicate poise you reach up high
Whilst teetering from a chair,
And lower the box from its hiding place
With respect and utmost care.

A panicked scan of your parents' room
Ensures the coast is clear,
Allowing you to free the knot
That harbours all your fear.

With trembling hands and a nervous grin
Your heart skips a beat or two,
As you expose the contents of the box,
Of which rumours you'd hoped were true.

Peeling back the concealing layer
Of moth-chewed shirts and jeans,
You beam and proudly hold aloft
A host of girly magazines.

--

Fabulous poems everyone, especially BJ for 'The Old Chevy'; nicely worded.

Just a friendly reminder to everyone to adhere to the challenge rules of beginning your poem with a word which rhymes with the last word of the previous poem (or the exact word); it's all part of the 'challenge' (no cheating!).

Title: Bump in the Night

Warmth brightens the land:
Vibrant blooms embrace the hills;
Once so cold and bland.

--

:huh:
Now, I hope we're all adhering to the challenge rules of using the last word of the previous haiku as the first word of our own, lest there no longer be a 'challenge'. Wonderful imagery everyone.

Ripped to liberate:
Ruptured cocoons dangling still;
Left to seek one's fate.