I sit here in the darkness, reading the old letters... staring at Your picture , and the tears slide down my face as if it were only a few hours instead of weeks that You left my life. I pull out the memories one by one, brushing them free from dust Smoothing out the wrinkles, and I caress them with my heart... Wanting to remember, wanting to hold them close to me I stare at the telephone, and will its ring to my ears, and that Your voice will softly whisper to me as it once did... Then.... In the stillness of the night... I realize... The silence. The emptiness. The constant, frantic beating of hope's wings in my chest that threatens to steal my sanity... Those little threads that You held out for me to grasp Become not lifelines any longer...only spiderwebs.... And I know... It's time to say goodbye. I cannot hold on to something that never was... As sand that is fisted too tightly...You only slid through my fingers more quickly... And now, I am the one who is left behind... While You move on... So...I pack up my fragile memories, passing my hands over each one last time...my tears spill to join them in their little chest...Your picture I lay carefully to the top, letting my eyes memorize Your face, before closing the lid, and sealing the lock. I rise to my feet and like a noiseless ghost, pass from my room to the outdoors, feet skimming the dew laden grasses until I reach the riverbank, and I kneel...and gently place the chest into the boyant waves that carry You from my embrace... and I watch as You disappear from my view..wondering as You go...if that river will drift You into the sea of forgetfulness for me.... Knowing that it won't...the tide will once again bring You back to me...and my heart will gather You close yet again...I cannot say goodbye.... I watch....and I grieve. It will never end. Not for me.

I like your work, but I would strongly suggest changing the word fisted. This has a completely different meaning in the uk (I don't know about anywhere else) which is most definitely NOT what you were trying to convey. Perhaps clutched, held, squeezed or grasped would be more appropriate? Shanna :-)

Fisted does have a slang usage in the U.S. English language as well, which refers to a masochistic sexual act, but I find the line very clear in terms of the way the word is used here, as the previous sentence precludes such grammatical misconception.

-smiles- thank you for the suggestion, Shoshanna. I certainly meant nothing by the word in question, it simply was the word that came out on paper. I usually just let the pen, pencil, crayon, or fingers on keyboard direct my thoughts, hence the rambling nature of my prose at times, because I have found that the raw emotion of a person shows up more plainly if its not changed and then changed again. I hope I have not offended any with my choice of words... and thank you for your advice.

In the context of the poem, I thought your meaning was quite clear. It wouldn't have occurred to me to deduce the alternative meaning...the image was very clear in my mind. But this certainly shows how differently the same words can strike different people depending on their backgrounds. On the other hand, I don't think you can be creative and write for an unknown censor at the same time. just my opinion, fairly meaningless.

I wasn't offended, it's just a word that only tends to get used in one context where I live. Um, not that it comes up in conversation all that often you understand. I was worried mythicaldamienne would be offended at me mentioning it lol Shanna :-) I like the poem. I think it's wonderfully sad.

I liked this piece.I thought it did a good job at conveying how the heart and mind will hold onto things, even when we know there's no chance. Nice to know I'm not the only one who lets come what may when writing :) Wolf Kin

I must not get out much. I've never known that piece of slang, and still don't really "get it". Not that I need to, no IMs needed. :-) It is a very emotional piece. And so hopeless at the end, with the turn of the tide. jon

Had to read this piece yet again, and still not sure how I feel about it other than sad. If you are looking for technical advice, I am not the one to give it... but it is beautiful.

Powerful and moving ... with or without 'fisted'

I was ready to ask if I might forward this to a friend in this situation - then I read further. The end is not the one I wish to send her! Very moving. I enjoyed the flow. Also, I didn't know of an alternate meaning to fisted (see how bravely I type it out, lol) - I agree, you must let the words flow, but appreciate those who inform you of new definitions. Let it flow - let it go! May the tide bring new loves to every shore!