I guess is dumb question, I hate to bother you all with it, but it has caused my tired, sleepy head to mess up many scenes, and much rebuilding of characters.
      I will try to place in order, so not confuse.

1. I make character and add genitals.

2. Then I save character complete with Genitals on it.

3. Then I call character back out to use in scene.

4. But Genitals are always first, not character.

5. If i do not remember to reach and select character. I will start posing genitals.
     ( this makes big, big mess sOme times.)

6. is there any simple way to Make it sOo character is always on top.
      ( because it is what I call to work with, Not Genitals, they are just and extra Item.)

7. It does not seem to have anything to do with alphabetical order.

8. Could sOme one Please help me understand, and maybe fix this.
      

Try this:

open your scene (pz3) in text editor

search for: 
defaultPick

and set it to ie:
defaultPick hip:1 <---- the number should be the same like you will see in the lines below started with: WELD

Maybe it will not solve your problem but it's worth trying.

edit:
if it's only the figure from library then edit cr2 file (for that figure) in text editor (since there is no pz3 - I didn't notice that at first in your post:)
and maybe it'll be better to set:

defaultPick waist:1
(not hip)

Simple solution: after you add the genitals, go back and select your character again before saving.

I will try those, Thx U, I never though about the selecting before saving thing. I just assumed the parent had the high spot.
   anyway, thx u all very much, i will see if those things work.

edited: Nope selecting the character again and re saving did not help, i will look at the other idea.

perhap if i redo the whole thing, and then select character before saving, but i was trying to avoid that ;)

I tried setting the defaultpick to waist, but it still loads with the genitals first..

It's just that some times i get in a hurry, and load the character, and begin posing, and if i forget to select the main character, the Genitals get all out of wack, and i lose time undoing, to get back to where i was.
    and sometimes it just all goes out of wack because of this... ( Sigh ) and have to reload scene and all to get back right.

Poser always takes the last figure loaded as the Selected Figure when the PZ3 starts.

Unfortunately there's no way to change this in the PZ3; there isn't a separate setting
for Selected Figure. 

It's annoying, but you'll just have to be careful, and manually select the main figure
before you move things around.

thx u, I thought that was the Problem, but had hoped, someone had a solution..
  U have been coming here far longer than me..;)

    I am sort of on again off again with Poser.. :)

   I wish there was a way around this...

 Well if Poser takes the last figure first .. why not just load the GENITALS forst, then the base figure. Conform the genitals as usual to the male and save the thing. If Poser truly starts with the last loaded forgire on load.. it should now have the character and not the genitals selected...

If you're going to use the same PZ3 a lot, and there's no way to re-load the
figures themselves, a quickie Python solution is available.  I've done this
with one Pz3 that I use for, ahem, personal enjoyment, because I got tired
of adjusting the clothes when I meant to adjust the woman. 

Write a script like this:

====================

import poser
scene=poser.Scene()
scene.SelectFigure(scene.Figure("MyFavorite"))

====================

where "MyFavorite" is actually the external name of the
figure you want to select at startup.

Then add a line just before the last bracket of your PZ3:

===============

    }
setGeomHandlerOffset 0 0.3487 0

runPythonScript ":Runtime:Python:poserScripts:DarlaStuff:SelectMyFavoriteFig.py"
}

=================