Part of it is, like hawkfyr said...the kids are being taught by teachers with bad grammar.  Every time I talk to my 10-year-old, I have to correct at least ONE sentence per conversation.  He, as well as my younger sister and brother (taught in the same school system) have the same grammatical idiosyncrasies...and it drives me BONKERS.  I'm so glad that I got through that school system when there were still good teachers.

I'd be showing up on that teachers doorstep.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first working breakfast of the Association for the Abolition of the Aberrant Apostrophe - the AAAA as it is known to our myriad town and country members.

The AAAA has two simple goals. Its first is to round up and confiscate superfluous apostrophes from, for example, fruit and vegetable stalls where potato's, tomatoe's and apple's are openly on sale.

Its second is to redistribute as many as possible of these impounded apostrophes, restoring missing apostrophes where they have been lost, mislaid or deliberately hijacked - as for instance by British Rail, which as part of its refurbishment programme is dismantling the apostrophes from such stations as King's Cross and shunting them off at dead of night to a secret apostrophe siding at Crewe.

Ladies and gentlemen, examples of the misuse of apostrophes abound.

In the AAAA's Black Apostrophe Museum in the basement, which you are welcome to visit (no children or persons of nervous disposition please), you will find an advertisement from The Guardian for Technical Author's; a circular from the National Council for the Training of Journalists, if you please, containing the phrase 'as some editor's will know'; an announcement from Austin Rover about the new Maestro's; a leaflet from Hereford and Worcester County Council called 'How the Council Spends it's Money'; and many other apostrophic atrocities too gruesome to describe while you are eating your Danish pastries.

How has this pestilence come about? The AAAA's laboratories have identified it as a virus, probably introduced into the country in a bunch of bananas and spread initially by greengrocers, or greengrocer's as they usually style themselves.

Apostrophe Interpolation, Displacement and Suppression - AID'S, as the affliction is known - recognises no frontiers.

It afflicts the highest and the lowest of the land alike, the educated along with the sub-literate. The Times (shortly to be renamed The Times's) as well as The Sun.

Why, even the Daily Mail itself, it has to be confessed between these four walls, is not immune. I hold in my hand a misprinting of who's for whose which was detected in its pages only a short while ago.

Ladies and gentlemen, when we find ourselves in a world where a newsagent's placard can read 'Gleny's Kinnock Lead's Teachers Strike', the Apocalypse is near and something must be done.

Apostrophic anarchists, deliberately disrupting the apostrophe's function as part of their wider plan to destroy English grammar, must be weeded out root and branch.

Innocent misusers of the apostrophe - for instance the Darlington bus company promising 'Shopping Trips to Leed's' - must be hustled off to night school in plain vans for a crash course in punctuation.

If necessary, children must be stopped outside the classroom and frisked for aberrant apostrophes, and the pushers identified.

But what can we, as individuals, do to stop the rot, bearing in mind that your Association will have no truck with the proscribed militant Apostrophe Abolition Army, whose declared aim is to stamp out the now universal use of 'it's' for the possessive 'its' by blowing up offending printing plants?

What we can do, ladies and gentlemen, is to be vigilant and relentless in our pursuit of the aberrant apostrophe.

We must write to each and every publication that trangresses in this respect. When they write back pleading that it was a regrettable printers error, we must reply by return of post that no it wasn't, it was a regrettable printer's error, or even more accurately, the error of a regrettable printer. 

We must boycott shops selling Co's lettuce, bean's and such like contaminated products.

Members of the AAAA are invited to forward examples of misplaced apostrophes to the Association for possible use in our touring exhibitions, provided that these do not infringe the Post Office regulations on the sending of obnoxious matter through the mails.

The AAAA regrets that its hardworking staff will be unable to acknowledge contributions individually but assures members that every apostrophe submitted will be scrutinised keenly and considered on its demerits.

The AAAA has no membership cards and no subscription. Members are, however, asked to donate at least one aberrant apostrophe when attending our meetings, rallies and conferences.

I have to point out that we are considerably overstocked on their's, it's and who's, and can consider no further examples until those we have accumulated have been ploughed into the Association's apostrophe dump at Devizes.

You are now asked to place the aberrant apostrophes you have brought with you in the offertory bags being passed among you by the ushers.

 During the collection, we will all rise and sing the AAAA's battle anthem, 'Sister Susie's Sewing Shirts For Soldiers'. Anyone singing a misplaced apostrophe will be instantly ejected from the hall.

Keith Waterhouse (1929-2009). Author, playwright, journalist & founder of theAAAA.

Quote - ...I spent nearly 20 minutes trying to explain to another proofreader that it's not Ice Tea, but rather Iced Tea and that it's Brussels Sprouts and not Brussel...lmao Laurie

Oh thank you so much.  And it's whipped cream not whip cream, barbed wire not barb wire, and mashed potatoes not mash potatoes.

I cringe everytime someone writes that an aritcle of clothing is too lose or they're afraid they're going to loose their cell phone.  I read the thread but forgot.  Did we cover your and you're yet?  Another thing that drives me crazy is the "use" of quotation marks "almost" all the time, seemingly for emphasis.  Other than direct quotations, the use of quotation marks on a regular word often implies that it is not what it states.  I saw a sign in front of the grocery store advertising "fresh" fruit.

Finally, everyone knows that the correct pronounciation of wash is warsh...not worsh.  Sheesh.  ;-)

Their is a lot of contributor's making a lot of good point's.

You can never have to much good English grammer.

Quote - Finally, everyone knows that the correct pronounciation of wash is warsh...not worsh.  Sheesh.  ;-)

Dem's Fightin' woids! :tt2:

Round here the correct way is "wesh". :P

and the most annoying poser one.

it's Clothes. not Cloths. Clothes are the things you wear. Cloths are the things you make Clothes from or use to Dust/dry things...

...don't you mean cloth's ?

....it was 5am when I wrote that.. some slack please ;)

Attached Link: This cartoon fits this thread nicely

Quote - > Quote - ...I spent nearly 20 minutes trying to explain to another proofreader that it's not Ice Tea, but rather Iced Tea and that it's Brussels Sprouts and not Brussel...lmao Laurie

Oh thank you so much.  And it's whipped cream not whip cream, barbed wire not barb wire, and mashed potatoes not mash potatoes.

I cringe everytime someone writes that an aritcle of clothing is too lose or they're afraid they're going to loose their cell phone.  I read the thread but forgot.  Did we cover your and you're yet?  Another thing that drives me crazy is the "use" of quotation marks "almost" all the time, seemingly for emphasis.  Other than direct quotations, the use of quotation marks on a regular word often implies that it is not what it states.  I saw a sign in front of the grocery store advertising "fresh" fruit.

Finally, everyone knows that the correct pronounciation of wash is warsh...not worsh.  Sheesh.  ;-)

I actually do use quotations around words often myself. I'm guilty. But I use them when I'm being my usual sarcastic self....lol. For example: "Gee honey, you look "lovely" today" after they've just crawled out of bed ;o).

Laurie

There's even a RP banner floating around here with the caption "Enemy's Beware".

Oh dear.

Quote - There's even a RP banner floating around here with the caption "Enemy's Beware".

Oh dear.

... that is referring to the beware that belongs to the enemy

I am 44 and almost done with college since I decided to go back after I left the Navy.

One thing that drives me up the wall is the constant use of the word like when not comparing something or saying that one likes something. Last semester one chick said like 58 times in  just a couple of minutes. Turns out that she was Canadien, not sure if that had something to do with it or not though.

Some old ones from when I was in school.

definitions

female = iron man

hypotinuse = someone is in the upstairs bathroom

Elton John = 2,000 pound outhouse

What about when people say "criteria" when they are talking in the singular. The singular is actually "criterion".

Another pet hate...

At checkouts, the line marked "10 items or less".  It's fewer, you numpty, not less!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHf089jl9H4

This might help.

Not A Typo
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are.

The olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy

Posted by the worst speller on the Rendo forums :woot:

You're not wrong, mate.  I read your post as easily as if it was typed in clear, correct spelling.

Quote - Not A Typo
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are.

The olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy

theirs a lot of typo's hear, but I have seen many other example's like this.

Quote - Not A Typo
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are.

The olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy

 

Posted by the worst speller on the Rendo forums :woot:

Just amazes me how our brains work.

Quote - You're not wrong, mate.  I read your post as easily as if it was typed in clear, correct spelling.

Same here, without a hitch...lol.

Laurie

What'd he say?!? :tt2:

wow ..read that backwords

Attached Link: http://www.well-animal-uk.com/

oh my gosh...lolol

Now that's bad ;o).

Laurie

edit: That's beyond bad...lol.

Oh dearie bloody fuck. What a superb advert.  I'd put my trust in that product, for sure.

whats' rong wittit ?

Quote - whats' rong wittit ?

My horse's wood probly drop ded.

Quote - Makes me wonder if we will have a recognizable language in a few decades as quickly as it's devolving.

Delaney

devolving? evolving, surely.

Quote - bah. to serious!

 

Gastronomy – to be bombarded with gas

Centimeter: machine for measuring smells

Kilobyte: what a T-Rex will give you

Centipede: 1/100th of a breath-test unit, measured on the police Pedometer.

Kilogramme: weight of straw that broke the camel's back

...

Quote - I have an email penpal from Estonia whose written English is flawless. What is the excuse of those of us who have English as their first language ?

You want to see what French pupils do to their spelling; my wife taught in France years ago and said many of the parents couldn't spell correctly either.

I fink every buddy shud youse a spoll chicker and a gramma chocker like what I does.

Does this thread mean we have enough information/clout/justification to get Daz in particular and vendors in general to finally drop that annoying apostrophe in Readme's?

Readme's what?

Readme's folder?

Readme's section?

Readme's place in the runtime when it really shouldn't be there anyway?

It's pretty common (though incorrect) for pro's and con's to be written with apostrophes, maybe because people think they must be contractions or something? For what? Prostitutes and convicts?

I think a lot of people just add an apostrophe when they aren't sure, which appears to be most of the time.

Quote - Does this thread mean we have enough information/clout/justification to get Daz in particular and vendors in general to finally drop that annoying apostrophe in Readme's?

Naah, then we'd have yet another folder for 'em, ReadMe's for legacy products and Readmes for new ones. Bad enough as it is.

Tomatoe's.

Quote - Tomatoe's.

Equally famous...

Potatoe.  :lol:

and from at least one poster here at Renderosity:

"hug's from ..."

Quote - and from at least one poster here at Renderosity:

"hug's from ..."

Wow! See if I send you any Hug's! :tt2: (In case you didn't catch it the emoticon means I am teasing you.)

Quote - Oh dear.

You, sir, will be hearing from my lawyer, as I am now completely blind from having looked at that page.

Quote - You, sir, will be hearing from my lawyer, as I am now completely blind from having looked at that page.

...in which case, I think an application of "Well-Horse" might do the trick.  It works miracles, apparently...

Seriously though, this stuff appears to work - they do a dog version which we tried when one of our Northern Inuits cut himself badly just below his eye.  It also sorted out a chemical burn on our cat's nose (it's ok- he thinks he's a dog anyway).  Both wounds healed with almost no visible scarring.  Apparently repeated use knocks out your ability to use apostrophe's though, so I wouldn't allow our cat or dog to set any type now.

Quote - Apparently repeated use knocks out your ability to use apostrophe's though, so I wouldn't allow our cat or dog to set any type now.

Our cat won't set type in the winter anyway - says the metal is far too cold.

Quote - > Quote - Apparently repeated use knocks out your ability to use apostrophe's though, so I wouldn't allow our cat or dog to set any type now.

Our cat won't set type in the winter anyway - says the metal is far too cold.

Mine just says "You want me to do what??? Silly human."

Laurie

Mine reckon typesetting went out with the ark.

Quote - Mine reckon typesetting went out with the ark.

Well, I'm not quite that old ... but still set type by hand occasionally!

Quote - > Quote - Mine reckon typesetting went out with the ark.

Well, I'm not quite that old ... but still set type by hand occasionally!

That's something I have never done but I'd love to have a bash.  The closest I ever came to it was those little John Bull printing kits when I was a kid.

Quote - That's something I have never done but I'd love to have a bash.  The closest I ever came to it was those little John Bull printing kits when I was a kid.

I started with the John Bull, then went on to the Adana in about 1950.

Ahhhh...John Bull printing kit...Xmas 1970, along with a set of Airfix Afrika Korps soldiers.  Bliss.