Ok now for a little fun...Im looking for the worst most horrendous poem you could possibly write. Pakled if you don't get your dogs howling it's too good. D' I hope your up on this one because the 3 brave hearts that braved the last challenge can not go unanswered. Shanna even a poem about Koshiri on the rocks will do. This challenge will run until July 30 seeing as its summer and you're all busy. So when you see my official starting post, the model, its everyone to their pens. The only thing I as is (tallpindo...in 14 lines or less.) I have to try and read these things. Surreal squints press my heart to the pound of jot. Its all peanut butter under the bridge.

lol I can do bad. Shanna :-)

Wouldn't it be something if in trying to do bad we all did better...LOL !)

I have only one direction to go. ;)

Now poetry doesn't have to be bad If it falls gently into verse And it just happens to be a little sad And things can't get better, only worse And the sun doesn't shine, there's only rain We miseable ones live our lives in pain And take our pens to tell of our woes Of days walking to school... we had no shoes When the snow was waist high then we had to drive a volkswagen.... get the idea? I'm just warming up.

Really and truly, I can rhyme and rhyme For instance this line here will finish with thyme See, a rhyme!!!!!! All mine that rhyme of rhyme with thyme I can do rhyming stuff most of the time! My rhyming has timing I think is sublime The colour my rhyme should be shown in is lime I know as you read this your ambitions climb To achive this sublimeness of rhyme and in time You'll grab at the end of each line etched in lime And rhyme and rhyme and rhyme and rhyme! Shanna :-) I am particularly ashamed of the exclamation marks. ps...I can do much worse.

LOL, Shanna!!! You are so funny. Thank you for the laugh...I was greatly in need of one today. :)

As was I SS. thank you and I thought that was quite well done, to say the least.

Was that rhyme by design Comon do your worst Don't worry abut the surrey with the fringe on top turn left at Xanadu... because you can nadu.

hmm...I shall have to give it some thought..I mean, bad poetry's so easy to do..;) the exceptional, I can do at once, the impossible takes a little longer..;)

Heh, just how many entries are we allowed? An Ode to At'rosity There's a giant pink bunny on the web tonight, In the naked Vicky scheme of things, Oh look, boobs! Koshini must die is the scheme of the anti-sprite, diaper brown makes the eye scream! Oh look, boobs!

I got inspired in the cafeteria this morning so here goes: Breakfast in the Sky The sun rises like a giant egg Sunny side up. The clouds like bread rolls without crusts Drift in search of a toaster, Brushing against the sun, Spilling hot rays of yolk onto the ground, Covering all the tiny people below Like freshly cracked pepper flakes in a yolk sea. Mmmmmm! Oh breakfast in the sky, I gaze at thee and wonder... Whats for lunch?

If I were Shanna ,I wouldn't take that lying dawn. Koshiri lives in New Tokyo. Right next to Thunderbird Island.

Guggenheim Oh Guggenheim Wrap us in your walls the jars of science have broken linoleum pollutes the stalls megapixels, megapixels bloody the floors of the aisle between us Guggenheim, please Guggenheim gather the fates in your round the jars of science have broken and your knickers are falling down. LOL just free writing :) hope you guys have a good day

A B C D E F G.. made myself a pot of tea, H I J K.. then I drank it all away. L M N O P.. Must have been all that tea. Q R S T U V.. W X Y.. caffeine assures there will be NO ZZZZZZZZ

Poor Man's Lament J. M. Strother If I had a million dollars, I'd be a millionaire. If I had a thousand dollars, I'd be a thousandaire. And if I had a hundred dollars, I'd be a hundredaire. If only I had a lousy dollar, I would not have a care. But I don't got no million dollars, Not a hundred dollars neither. I ain't even got a stinking dollar, 'Cause life's a stinking cheater. So if you see me on the street, and I ask you for a dime, Have some pity on my plight, for it would not be a crime.

And here's another... Woe Is Me J. M. Strother Rendie went and changed my scheme, And I can't change it back, Now I'm bummed with pages white And text made all of black. My link colors have gone kaput Can't tell what links I've clicked, My visited links look quite mundane, I am now really quite piqued. I pull my hair in great despair, I'll be bald before they're all through.. And now you know my tale of woe, I've laid it all before you.

After line 1 I wanted to say dooh dah dooh dah. although tammy said the link colors was changeable. But that khaki sidebars go to go.

If you wanted to say dooh dah dooh dah after line one, then I succedded. :-) I was trying to make it very sing-songy. I've tried to change my colors back twice now and neither one of them took. I'll wait for the dust to settle and try again when they say they are all done. jon

Not to be cranky about it, and I know that I'm the only one who actually likes the new colors, but I hope we don't turn this thread into another debate about the color scheme. Much more fun to focus on the bad poetry, which doesn't seem all that bad to me (didn't I say I wasn't a poet?) -- I especially like Charmz clever ending. I have to admit, I've read a beginning to a short story very much like jagill's poem....and it was published!! Only problem with it is that it makes me hungry!

I agree completely. No site debates needed here. Just bad poems. To wit, I offer... If I had a poem for you I know that it would not be blue. If the words within my head Could only be so plainly said As to casue no misconception To turn us in the wrong direction. So let us all get back on track And write us poems that are just hacks! jon :-)

Okay, Jon. You are now an inspiration for bad poetry. :) If I wrote you a poem It wouldn't be red That rhymes with bed I wouldn't want you misled. If I wrote you a poem It wouldn't be yellow That rhymes with mellow That doesn't describe you or Othello. If I wrote you a poem It wouldn't be pink That rhymes with fink That seems just too rinky-dink. If I wrote you a poem It wouldn't be blue That rhymes with Pooh The ghost of Milne might sue. So I guess I won't write you a poem It reveals my limitations That rhymes with frustrations Explaining too well my preoccupations.

Ok, this is why prose writers shouldn't accept poetry..this is about as bad as I can make it
Scabarous pustules, nearly ready to burst deep-scared emnimities, like first, real liverwurst intense, mad emotions, red-hot like the sun, fun, one, ton.. and you know one more thing, it's ready to burst or did I use that one? I'm the perfect prefect or bust I'm perfectly sensible, red-hot, oh yeah, I used that too Zorkish calamities like the slavering grue, you too? Shall I compare thee to a summoner's day? Hot, stuck in the courtroom, play, day, pay, something that rhymes with 'a' These aren't a few of my favorite things Swing high low in London, the bent pendulum rings I dunno folks, I'm from the real old school, where meter and rhyming followed fairly easily followed rules (don't stroph me, cause I'm close to the edge..;) My real fear is that some artsty fartsy school in some 'happenin'g local would find the above 'sheer genius'..as I said, bad poetry's so easy to do...;)

I read in the paper the other day about a lady whose house burned down from the sparks of a streetcar,
It happens all the time since locomotive smoke from wood burning engines tends to choke,
the creative sensibilities in it's cloak,
It was in Pasadena on the hill behind the Angel's Flight funicular;
then the precedent went loud,
down Nob Hill in a crowd clustered about a cable car,
the grease from gripping slipped a bit,
the wheels got tangled, felt a rip then fire broke out it's true!
mechanical madness makes some proud and others rich...
I can not possibly finish this better than the nonsense you are now thinking, Goodbye!!!

Those last two are in the running but they have to survive the acid test...No the reader doen't have to take any, but editors can do amazing things. Any constructive comments are welcomed...or are these poems true residents?

I have come, the pilgrim said, to see the Holy One; though some rain would be just as good, 'cuz I question all and nothing gets done, and besides, I was in the neighborhood." Abashed, the master stood head bowed, and contemplated his navel, and knowing the journey begins right now, showed him the road to travel. Incensed, the pilgrim gnashed his teeth, And cried, "Throw out your laurel! A master must succor his flock at his feet, not give them the boot with no moral!" Still, the master stood eyes running, in his weary silent contemplation, "Have a good trip and thanks for coming, and thanks again for the recommendation." "I curse you! cries the pilgrim now, You're not holy, you're only a presumptuous fraud! Some miserable mindless form of Holy Chao!" Then he wanders away to find some other God.

Romeo Romeo Where fore art thou Romeo When its dark and I want to boogie and party till the break of dawn Avast the porkyoupine sitting in the ruff With my sister Catharine Me thinks to smell a rat And all thy fardells bear Romeo Romeo where for art thou Romeo? Forsake thy name boy 'cause I know you can hear In the dark on the lawn with my sis Kate the shrew. And I will no longer be a Kaputlet.

A different kind of bad :-0 Forth into the forest straight away, All alone walked Harrywatha In the forests of the night And the birds sang round him, o'er him Up the ash tree, cross the ivy If music be the food of love play on He cried The animal I really dig, above all others is the pig The day the music died. With a twenty thousand pattering has the valley breeze begun Across this green and pleasant land. I want to hold your hand But how long can we look at each other, over the barrel of a gun? Sorry, someone had to do it.

Well, after saying I wouldn't be entering challenges just yet I had a spark of inspiration (?!) Do dee do, do dee dah, Get your big butt in the car. Do dee dah, dum dee dum, Sling your hook, now move your bum. Get in right now I want to go And were going fast I dont do slow. Away from here, quick smart double time Before I create an even worse rhyme. Bad I thought would be hard to do, But it seems all of us can write some poo; Poo with less grace than a ballerina And lots of lines that are just fillers. A piece of crud to drive tjames round the bend Including a crap end.

Feces Occurs (**** happens) What is life - just a tail full of burs. We go seeking princes, but they all turn out curs. They buy us vacuums, when what we want is fresh fleurs! We try to avoid it, but feces occurs. Wishing for compliments, we only get slurs. Why is it "Prince Charming" comes to bed wearing spurs? The man seeks a woman who is meek and demure, then she finds out painted hussies are what he prefers! Seeking nirvana in the arms of some sirs - Women find smelly socks, empty beer cans, and hairs that aren't hers! Yes, we try to avoid it, but feces occurs. If we'd just stop being baited by these masculine lures! Now, I'm depressed. Time to drink the liqueurs!

To earn a dot, I wrought A poem that was not Much thought, Just some old rot. Good poetry it's not. But hey, you brought It on yourself. This blot On the pure page of poet-craft you got Because I sought To earn your black spot.

ODE TO MY SPOT I have a spot upon my nose It's at the end, red like a rose Oh spot begone, get outta here! Go lurk elsewhere - behind my ear? I've lost my love because of you And I had thought my love was true He said he hated girls with acne And now my boss has gone and sacked me I'm having such an awful day I can't see straight - spot's in the way I'm sad, I'm lonely and I'm blue, Oh spot it's all because of you!

Bad Poetry so i say i can try and make a poem fly of bad english and fish, So lets all go down on the floor or the ground, and spin round and round. Grab yourselfs a Pen or a barbie or Ken and dance like a chicken and keep wishing and wishing The sky would fall down on your head.

Ode Oh Mighty Conqueror of the Hindu Kush! Mesopotamian Master, Saviour of the dark land of Africa, (where your talk of abstinance got a big hand) and not least the One who brought Baghdad a kind of hush - Was a man ever as great as George W. Bush? Slow to anger, yet when called upon to rush No thought did he spare for profit or gain - When his people called, then that's when he came To tell everyone shouting it was time for some shush. What would you not give to be like George W Bush? As men stood in awe, and maidens did blush This titan stamped his feet on the earth. By the time he had finished no-one knew what was worse - A few days of peace or losing the whoosh. Who had the answer but George W. Bush?. Oh Bush, Oh Great Bush! We thank God that you came At the moment you did, To put paid to the game Of the cohorts of Clinton, Oh the depth of the shame We had suffered in silence, Until you became The Scourge of the Taleban, The inspirational flame Of every American Whatever his name, Then what you did to Saddam Hussein, Stopped most of us going completely insane By giving us still more other people to blame. So raise your voices, sing out His Name - George W. Bush - yea, the one and the same. Oh Bush how we pray you will always remain Our final bulwark against the tame and the lame. For this plus reasons one, two, three We dedicate our poetry To ensuring for all eternity You stay forever out of your tree. (previously unpublished)

I only went 2 lines over the word limit. :p Think Ill I think I should mention Something about cheese Dont give me redemption I take it with ease Now for some bacon Mention more food Your shirt has cake on Dont mean to be rude Wipe it off with tissue Make it go clean Then it will not be an issue The stain is unseen I think Ill stop this thing now Reckon youve had enough So raise back up that furrowed brow And wish myself good luck.