If this message is at all undecipherable, I apologise ahead of time and blame it on the need to finish the eggnog before it goes off. The rum won't go off, but the eggnogg is just not the same without it. Just to let people know, I may temporarily disappear. That won't mean I don't care about my customers -- I just may not have any online access at some point. the reason this is in the Poser forum is this, lest someone shout 'OT' at me... I have Poser users who are customers. This will get this warning out to the largest group of them, as this is the most red forum by my customer base. I want them to be forewarned of this. I may be offline for a week or threee sometime in the relatively near futire. Here's the sitch: In September the year before, the dot-com crash started hitting my company. Layoffs started on 9/11. How sychronous, eh? In April I moved from my then-apartment complex to my new apartment complex and signed a year lease. In May, the programming department got hit and I got cut. I was laid off. I got a month severance and started being frugal. The severance and my remaiining holiday pay lasted me a few months. Also in may, my mum died if cancer. My dad's been dead for more than half my life. My sister's a fundamentalist Christian somewhere, so same difference. So that kind of wraps it up for family. In the end of July, I finally ran out of cash and had to file for unemployment. In september, I started selling tings on Renderosity. The last week of December, the unemployment ran out. My wife iws working at Petco. Any job I see available I'm either unqualified for (not in my skill set), overqualified for (strangely, you can't get a job at Taco Bell after making 70 grand a year. Probably they figure they can't satisfy you and you wouldn't be dedicated to the job. They'd be right, too.) This morning I submitted something to DAZ for the first time. However, even that's not likely to make the 750/mo rent, I think. I live in the Philly suburbs. Not to mention cable bills and stuff. I don't think I can get any sort of extension on UEC though I will try. Either way... Since my mum died pretty much penniless (she was making bills but by no means well off. She had the mobile home paid off, so that's it, and her boyfriend wouldn't let anyone help out, even familiy, the damn prideful redneck ass) My sister got the other car and some stuff, and I got the forgotten about life insurance that was taken for my mum when she was four back in the early 50s. My sum of inheritance was about a grand. Not a lot compared to many inheritances, I know, but I'm giong to make the most use of it I can. Audrey and I moved out to Philly for the job from which I was laid off. Philly sucks. If you don't live in Philly, don't pray for change. There's no reasonable public transpo here (I don't drive) and people are for the most part self-concerned greedy beaurocrat types, interested only in backstabbing their way up their chosen corporate ladder. I utterly despise the east coast. New York City might be fine, I dunno, but that's $30 away on NJT and I can't afford to even vitis right now. It's certainly the only place with much in the way of artistic type people around. So Audrey and I, hating this place and only having a few friends here, are moving back to Portland, Oregon. We can't afford to, but we are anyway. A friend of ours (CKFive on Renderosity, wee his Photography in the galleries, he's talented) is a perofessional driver (he drives a cab) and is willing to make a deal -- he's using his cab as his car, and he wants to change that. We don't have a lot we're attached to, so the idea is that we're going to ditch the large furniture, sell off what we can on eBay, and get the fuck out of dodge. The insurance cheque arrived yesterday. $1047.25. That's going to buy a van, I hope, and that van will hopefully make it to Portland, Oregon with outselves, out zoo, and as much stuf as we can pack into it, with CKFive driving and Audrey and I keeping him awake where possible. Maybe we will even be able to come up with enough to geta motel her eand there on the way across. Anyone wants to loan us a sofa, gratis, and all my non-free stuff is yours. Dodger.org will stay online during this hopefully, as the server is Co-Located in Portland as it is. The Renderosity stuff will, of course, be online unless enderosity goes out of business. We will have screwed credit from this. Abandoning a lease, not paying any more nills, etc. Yeah. I'll deal. We have some time before the cut-things-off time. We're gng to stop using the bank, I think, and start using cash and cashing cheques even if it costs a little to avoid the 'we're going to charge you $30 because your account went under by $.02' bullshit. I swear I really do hate banks. But not too screwed, because one of the things I did right before the layoff was wilf for an LLC and pay the money to get it set up. If I can come up with a mere $300 more, I can even take cards online. I don't have a solid plan for this yet and what unsolid plans I have are confidential untl thigns pan out, but I gotta do something. There aren't any web programmer jobs in Portland, either, but at elast Audrey has famly there and we both have friends. That's more important than all the wealth in the worls, and certainly better then a paltry 70 grand ayear. Moving here was the most worst mistake I ever made. I'm gong to fix it if I die trying. As a result, during that move my computer will be turned off and stuck in a box next to the snake cage in the back of the van. Anjd I won't have cable modem. Right before we leave I will do my best to email my mobile phone number to all of my customers if support is needed. As for the free stuff, I simply won't be able to support it during that time. Sorry. I don't know exactly when this time is, either. Please don't go telling my rental company. I have three lives to fix (the cats, snakes,rats, and ferret don't seem to care where they live, but there's me and my wife, and her son Atreyu whom we sent back to Portland already) If I'm lucky things will get on DAZ and sell enough to make this a little easier. If you want to take pity on me, screw pride, buy some of my stuff because I'm going to need every penny I can derdge up to pull this off. But we're getting back to the west coast where everyone may be insane, but at least theyre bloody human. To all other Philadelphites here, I'm not tagretting yuo, specifically, but if you've never been otuof this place, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. From what I can tell, any Philadelphian who has gome somewhere else than the Delaware valley (no, Cherry Hill and Trenton don't count), they have liked thatother place better. It's not jst the grass s greener phenomenon, trust me. No, the grass really IS greener everywhere outside of the armit of the world they call Philly.

Best of luck to you....things have a way of working out...

Safe journey, _dodger. I hope it's your dungeon lighting kit that ends up at DAZ, because I've been planning to buy that.

Good luck too you!!Thanks for all your freebees and i wait for your dungeonlights too.

Oh, Dodger, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. ): I think all of us have/were affected by 9-11 in some way or another........I work for United Airlines.........so you can imagine the uncertainty there, and although I am still employed, I can't say for how long? My situation is two-fold, as my husband works there too! I am sure that you and your wife will be happier in Portland, I suppose anywhere would be better since you dislike Philly so much. Things do have a way of working out, and I wish you the best and will be looking forward for your return to Renderosity. (: Now, I am off to your store to see what I can buy to help you out, even if it is just a little. Take care and good luck to you. Genny

Dodger, I have read and reread this, and I just don't know what to say to you! I think what your doing is brave, and yet one of the scariest things someone has to do! So I simply will say I wish you the best, and that all will work out for you and your family, and God Bless you all. Sallie

I have gone through a few 'new beginnings' in my life. I was lucky, as I always turned out better off and happier than before. I hope the same will apply to you. Have a safe trip on the Oregon trail. Q

Sorry to hear about your situation, Dodger. I have learned, through experience, that sometimes just picking up and hauling ass is the best couse of action. You're an intelligent, insightful and talented person, amigo, and I think you'll be just fine. Best of luck to you.

Dodger, I wish you and your family the best ... you're definitely a brave soul and it sounds as though your determination and will is strong and is going to see you through ... happy trails, and stay safe on your trip. I'll sure keep my eyes open for your product on Daz, and will say a prayer to the Gods for your success. Blessings, Rhi

I lived back east for a year or so can't say I miss it. Someday I hope to get up to Portland, too. Best of luck _dodger and thanks for all the help! - TJ

Dodger, we also wish you the best, we are from the East Coast and love it here, but that is us, I feel for you because we have been in your situation, dirt poor, barely eating, having people drop food off at our doorstep (thank God we had a doorstep), lost almost everything, Mike and I at one time each had 3 jobs to go to, working obsurde hours and not much sleep, so we know what you are going through. You are strong and you and your wife have support here from us and all your friends in Portland. Hang in there, when one door closes another opens, sometimes not a good door, but you and your wife will make the best of it I am sure. Keep your chin up, we will wait till we hear from you again and you are in our hearts and prayers. Mike and Sharen

By the way, money isn't everything, not how much you make or how much you have, so you go get the job that makes you happy and the rest will fall into place. Sharen

Dodger old buddy! I lost my job in May too, and the unemployment just ran out. However, the state of Oregon has decided to go on paying it since the man in the white house and his party have promised to put it on the top of the agenda this week. In Oregon we have the 1st or 2nd highest unemployment in the nation, so you'll get EB here. You'll just have to wait about 2 to 3 weeks to get your claim transfered. When you get here, get in touch with me (I'll IM my number). I've got a cable modem, and I don't mind you using the connection to keep in touch, and upload/download. I've also got the name of the best headhunter in the city and I do know she's got a couple of web contracts available (no VB programming slots for me though). Rumor has it that things here may be improving the first quarter. I may even have a shot at a very nice contract at PGE. You're right about Philly, or anywhere for that matter. Once you come to Portland, you never want to live anywhere else. Take care, and keep in touch. I'll buy you a Starbucks when you get here. Jim

Thanks to all. blinks in a bit of surprise actually, I was half expecting someone to flame me for whining or something, and I'm really grateful to you all for not! Thank you! Yup, it's the Dungeon Lighting Kit 1 that I've submitted to DAZ, and I am awaiting the response. I had to send it to the broker email address, because the upload form kept croaking on me, so I have my fingers crossed. If I don't get it in there, I'll put it in here. Retteller, you;re giving me the impression that the farther you are from NYC, the better things get. Hmm, maybe that's why the place I was happiest was Prth, West Australia. L Genny, extra double thanks to you for the purchase. SAMS, Money isn't just not everything, it's really nothing more than a lubricant for life. Before I moved here, back in Portland, I was only making $750/fortnight ($1500 a month) and not only did I get by, I maintained a lot more of an expensive lifestyle, because I worked for a magazine. Perqs from the magazine biz are amazing. I went to every show I wanted totally free. I had walk-in privileges in most of the clubs and free drinks in half of those. I got to take Audrey to Cirque du Soleil for free. I ate for free half the time -- people were either taking me to dinner or lunch on them to work out the specs of their ads and websites or I got free pizza and stuff from the bar downstairs which the mag owner also owned. If a reader of this is in Portland, the magazine was Exotic so this fits in context. I made four times as much money here, and got to do less than half as much. It was ridiculous. But it's nothing compared to not having the money here. Portland is famous for its hordes of homeless gutterpunks. I haven't seen anyhomeless gutterpunks here. Says something, in a way. It seems to me the quality of life in an area is indicated by the number of homeless people who are young enough to leave. If my Dungeon Lighting Kits don't make it in to DAZ, I'm working on an alternate plan already, I have a posable prop in the works that, well, based on what you've seen of my stuff, you will never guess in a lifetime what it is. I am gonna keep it secret for now. But I can say that DAZ will love it, and so will the digital comics makers (no, it has nothing to do with superheroes at all, but everything to do with NYC, Chicago, etc, and no, it's not a building). It's precisely the kind of thing they seem to love most, actually. And that's extremely on purpose. Weird. The eggnog has been really anticoagulating me. I'm work off, but my extremities are strangely cold (I usually run like a Ford) and I can taste that weird sensation inthe back of my throat the indicates the blood pressure is way down. Weird. Maybe I should do that more often. But I should rememebr to crank of the furnace first. Can't type with gloves.

Make it Coffee People and you've got a deal!

LOL...I am sure you will do great where ever you go dodger, you hold tight to your thoughts and we will be here when you need us. Sharen

You're on! Coffee People it is! Now put the eggnog away and turn up the heat. And I just got a phone call for a few hours programming work! Woo-hoo! Money! I can pay my January rent!

Best of luck to you Dodger. As for the East Coast West Coast thing, I guess it's a matter of what you're used to. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else besides Stanly county NC. I've lived in Japan (loved that)(Missouri-hated that) and Montery California (Love the area, found the people less than welcoming). In general, I guess there's a very different dynamic with the rat race near big citys, or as I often refer to it, "The Big Shitty". At the risk of offending some, hospitality is a very different thing in the south, and no we aren't all redneck racists. Anyway, good luck mate. Regards, Brent

Dear Doger; Brother I hear ya- life is no better here in Michigan. It seems like all of my best friends are in the OR/WA area. If ya want unemployment- don't come to MI. The idiot govenor we just got rid of hasn't sent out checks in 10 weeks. Had to give a parting gift to all his business buddys. Sticks thumb out to hitch a ride :) Good luck. Ken

Did someone say.....COFFEE PEOPLE? LOL! I work midnight shift, so I am definately one of those!'' I don't know anything about your Dungeon Lighting Kit,Dodger, but if it has anything to do with helping me do "Lights" in Poser, you can bet I will be one of your customers! Even if Daz doesn't accept it, I will be waiting patiently for it's presence here. Take care and once again, Best of luck to you and your family. (: Genny

I can relate to everthing you're going through, only I never had an income that high to lose.

Companies are always saying they can't find enough programmers here in NJ. Go figure.

Good luck to you.

-JH.

It seems that unemployment is catching everyone these days but we've all got to look on the bright side. This could be a good thing for you dodger, you never know the perfect job for you might just be waiting for you to find it right now. Myself I've been out of work since the end of March but it means I can spend loads more time with my family & do the things I had no time to do because I was working. Good luck to you & your family for the future :)

pdxjims, I'm with you. I'm in Portland, too, and it's a great place. I spent several years of my childhood in LA, and when we moved back to Portland, it was the best thing we ever did. Dodger, I wish you all the best an I hope Portland will offer you more. I'll check out your store and see what you have. Good luck with DAZ. Melanie

Dodger, I will be praying for you. You're facing one hell of a situation, but your courage comes through loud and clear. Believe in better days, and go where your heart leads you. Kimberly

You can do PayPal if you can't get money together for credit card acceptance right away. Their processing charge isn't too bad, either. As a warning - if your credit gets screwed up, it will be harder for you to get a merchant account for accepting credit cards. I know you're kinda stuck in that regard, but it is another complication. I don't know about Philly, but there's a lot of nice places in New Jersey. (Stay away from the part corrupted by NYC! Newark, Elizabeth, etc.) If it didn't get so cold in the winter, I'd still be living there. Good luck!

A couple of times in my life I've thrown caution to the winds, sold what I could and headed off in a whole new direction, and I've been better off for the move every single time. I have a theory that the gods favor the bold. Each time I was scared silly, but learned to throw myself body and soul into the process and the fear kind of melted away. By the time I landed in the new place, the universe seemed to have rearranged itself---connections suddenly were easier to make and they led to a happier life. I wish this to you and your family, too. The whole Angels Thing has been worked to death, but someone or something attends folks who are brave enough to make a big change in search of a better life. :)

Bummer that you're going through that but best of luck. I loved Oregon when I lived there. Portland was too big for me, I prefered the Coast down by Florence and Coos Bay.
Lots of rain and they drive differently up there but I still liked it. :)

Portland's public transporation is the best. The buses go everywhere and there are two MAX train lines, with a third going in up Interstate. Dodger, I don't drive either, and I can get everywhere in Portland via Tri-Met. Melanie

Check your IM's - if you pass by Salt Lake City and need a place to crash for a night on your way up, let me know. /P

I live in BC and have been to Oregon - I can see why you would want to move back there. I'm a firm believer in things happening for a reason. Things alway seem to work out for the better.
Best of luck to you.

Good luck Dodger. I hope everything gets headed in the right direction for you. Will be looking for your products at DAZ.

I'm in the same boat Dodger. Too much management experience and education to be hired as a low wage worker. They look at me and say "what are you kidding"? And not quite able to compete with the CEO job hunters. It seems like we would have been better off not making something out of ourselves. And just swung a mop for a living. I could live OK on $10.00hr. But I can't seem to find that here in Upstate NY. Isn't that nuts? I was in charge of a large national food plant for several years. It's just unbelievable to me that people like us can't find work.....It's just crazy. These are definately scary times for many of us. Best of luck to you on your quest to survive. ScottA

Keep a stiff upper lip, dodger. I'm still employed but I can relate your situation - time seems to run faster each day. I'd like you to know I wish you and your family all the best. Willy(from over the pond)

Good luck, _dodger. Hope things pick up for you soon. Erik "Kep"

'Dodger, In looking at your Dungeon Lighting Kit and we are very interested in brokering them through our store on Jan 17th. There are a couple of changes we would like you to make. First we would like you to add a seperate firefly to the kit complete with it's on obj and pp2 files. It will give the user more movability with the fireflies. Second on your main image we would like you to move the votiv candle, the firfly jar and the torch more into the black. We look forward to working with you and any future possible products you submit.' Looks like I'm making it in! whew In the Product Showcase forum I have pics of (almost) the whole thing. The only thing not there is the individual firefly, cause I just got this mail and haven't done that yet. dances around and sings I got in DAZ, I got in DAZ. I'll get less of a cut But I'll sell three times as much DAZ DAZ DAZ DAZ D-A-A-A-Z! Thank you all so much for your support. Dialyn, thanks for the sales. Any problems contact me, except when I'm disappeared. I'll also put a notice on the top of Dodger's Posr Stuff when I delve into the thousands of miles of farmland between here and there. Peng, thanks, I'll check the IMs as soon as I get done with this message. Then I have a firefly to make. Jeff, youse fom Joisey? Sheeeat, youse should'a tol' me that befoah. I'd'a neveh goowat in no ahgumitts wif you, Ise was thinkin' youse was fum some udda place oah some sheat, so's ise was thinkin' youse was givin me attitude, but no, man, youse juss from Joisey! No wondah ise was saying 'youse gots an attitude' and youse was sayin, 'no, I ain't gots no attitude'. I guess I shooda aksed. J/K B^) Legume, I your post made me laugh, but I'm thinkin' youse shouldn't'a waited so long to find the hole in the fence, and just paid the 80 cents 'leaving New Jersey' toll at the toolbooth! B^)

Hope you get things going your way soon, _dodger. I bought the biker jacket for Mike, so I hope it helped in some way. Best of luck, mate.

Legume, there's a little town somewhere on the Delaware with a french name I think -- I can't remember it -- North of Trenton with a rickety 1 1/2 lane bridge and NO TOLL! Use that! Just be sure to cringe properly when crawling over it at 15mph, like I have.

Sam, thank you very much!

SamTherapy: did you download it yet? It hasn't shown up on my accounting, nor any ebot mail... concerned Clint?!!?

Samtherapy: Ohh! I thought you meant just now! I searched my reports and found the sale, on 10/5. Gotcha!

Ick, I'm just crawling out my own crap hole now... Good Dodger and that's great news on DAZ!

Dodger, I've made a couple of moves that scary... and can certainly relate to the financial situation (went from 75K/year to disability). If you are moving towards something (such as being closer to your friends and the happiness of a place you love), it's usually a very positive experience overall. Each of my moves, even the riskiest, has been a Good Thing in retrospect. We make our own luck... and with your attitude, luck will favor you. {hug} Carolly

Near Flemington, NJ there's a bridge where you can head over to New Hope, PA without a toll last I checked. (Beautiful area, too - unless they really hosed it up after I left.)

you go, dodger!! and good for you! you'll do all right, i'm sure. :) just make sure your snakes have a heating pad so they don't get cold out in the van. not sure i have any good advice. stop by the library and check out 'the tightwad gazette' (its a book); that has good hints on how to do stuff with little or no money. good luck!

Dodger, I just bought your Elf Mage Vicki set and I can't wait to use it. Great work! Melanie

Bloodsong, I have a friend who could use that book right now. I'll let her know. Thanks for the heads up. Melanie

I just want to add my own wish to luck to you and your family! I'll keep an eye out for your stuff at DAZ and look forward to some purchases. Good luck and best wishes!

Dude, I just realized I don't have to wait to help! DOH! You've got two items in your Renderosity store I've had on my wishlist for a while (The Hooded Cowl and Fighting Man Mike). Only, now I see that I also like the Elf Mage and, as a biker myself, find I can always use a good jacket... Four outta six items ain't too shabby... Hope my little contribution makes it to ya before you have to leave! Once more, good luck!

_Dodger - Just wanted to send my best wishes for you and your family's upcoming move. My husband and I faced a somewhat similar situation 2 years ago, but things improved wonderfully after our move. May the greatest of luck go with you!

Bloodsong, we normally use lamps because electric heating pads have too much propensity to overheat and burn the herp. For the trip, though, Audrey currently works at Petco (and they will transfer her, too, if there's a position out there) as the reptile specialist (actually she's a reptile, amphibial, and gross little bug things specialist, but the title wouldn't fit on the name tag). She has access to these neat chemical heat pads that you just scrunch up and they stay warm at about 95 Fahrenheit for three days. They're cool. Well, no, they're warm, actually. B^) BTW, I bet I could write one of those books. Butter is a needless expense. Heavy Cream is lot cheaper ounce per ounce, and when made into butter (or whipped cream) tastes a whole lot better, too, and is certainly worth shaking a jar for five minutes. Cigarettes, if you smoke, are much cheaper home-rolled, and the tobacco tastes better, anyway, and there are filter tubes so you don't have to smoke something that looks like a joint. Strangely, a lot of the cheaper ways to do things end up with better tasting food. The same price as a single meal at Lone Star or Outback can buy enough of the exact same food to leave you in leftovers for a week, and you can make it exactly the way you want it. And it's amazing how many 'just like X' recipes there are on the net, to make duplicates of Big Macs, Marie Callendar's pot pies, and even Doritos, all in the kitchen. Thanks again for the suport, and thanks to melanie and TygerCub for the purchases! And wow, TygerCub, you must have gotten a lot of Xmas cards! I'm impressed! Four! Cool! B^)

Dodger, The armpit can't be in Philly, got to be somewhere in Joisey, unless you're talking about SE Michigan then it's got to be Melvindale. (Ken may get that one if he lives in this area) :-) Hang in there Dodger, it's always darkest just before you step on the cat :-)