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Bryce F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Nov 26 4:28 pm)
Subject: How to be annoying
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One of my favourites is visiting a china shop and saying OOOPS!
<strong>bandolin</strong><br />
[Former 3DS Max forum coordinator]<br />
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<p><em>Caution: just a hobbyist</em></p>
Those things are annoying? Oops. Sorry. :^) Tempted now to start doing the "Ooh la la" one, though. Ooh la la, gotta go now.
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
Ooh la la, (last one, I swear) you didn't have my favorite: Be sure to use your cell phone frequently and speak loudly so no one can miss the fact you have a cell phone and know how to use it. The more public and inappropriate place you choose to do this, the better. Churches, restaurants, funeral homes, movie theaters, automobiles while driving, for example are great places to use your cell phone. How else are people going to know that the whole world revolves around you?
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
Drum on every available surface. Whenever I've had to teach - or even be in the same room as - adolescent boys I've been driven round the bend by this. And if they're not drumming they're rocking on their chairs. If they're not rocking on their chairs they're firing spitballs at each other. If they're not firing spitballs they're testing rulers, pencils, chairbacks to destruction. Nothing within arm's reach is safe.
Fantastic one I saw on cellphones on tv last night, when you get on an underground train (story was in London switch to subway etc as appropriate) set the alarm on your mobile to go off in 15 minutes. 15 minutes later 'answer' your mobile and speak loudly - watch as everyone wonders how you get a signal, notably, if you are in a financial district, declare loudly about the nikkei or similar dropping shout 'buy' a few times and then make smug comments about being glad not to have missed that one and thanks for the call. Watch all the stock/futures traders get off the train sweating and staring at their now outdated mobiles and cursing the missed opportunity :)
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Toolset: Blender, GIMP, Indigo Render, LuxRender, TopMod, Knotplot, Ivy Gen, Plant Studio.
ROTFLMAO! Mine is: Only use the words 'yes Dear' when the missus is talking at you......... Bark like a dog when walking round the supermarket.....(done this, it's hysterical!)
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
Street sellers and survey people in shopping centres... pretend you have a severe facial tick, there sure to avoid you.
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 10:38
http://joevinton.blogspot.com/
...buy one of those giant plastic santas with lights inside, and actually use it...
Rudolf Herczog
Digital Artist
www.rochr.com
Go to the (fill in 3D software here) forum. Criticize another members work. Tell them pretty good considering the limitations of (fill in 3D software here). Maybe when they are through playing around and get some money they could afford to buy (fill in another 3D software here). The only real 3D software to use if you are a serious professional.
I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! .. (etc...) Cheers, Diolma
Sing, "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know song that'll get on your nerves get, get, get, on your nerves...." Repeat ad nausium..........
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
Sing, "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know song that'll get on your nerves get, get, get, on your nerves...." Repeat ad nausium..........
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
this is the song that never ends..;)
Wash..rinse..repeat..;)
Learn the words to It's a small, small world..sing off-key, at any occasion
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:35
Never finish anything..always come back 5 minutes later
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:35
Create renders with reflective Vickies, and flesh-colored spheres over opaque oceans
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:37
always pay for everything with exact change..in fact, use change whenever possible..especially pennies..
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:38
Wait until the last possible moment to merge into traffic, especially if the lane's ending; turn on your turn signals randomly, in opposition to which direction you're going; slow down suddenly for no apparent reason, especially when there's noone in front of you..
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:40
and finally..create controversial message threads, and then wait until you have several replies..then delete the original post..;) I'll stop now..;)
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:43
I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit
anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)
On a message board, insult someone and misspell the insult.
Like "your stupit" or something. Or say that something another poster said "doesn't make since" I hate it when people do that... Or post "yeah!" or "I agree" or "you're wrong" without specifying what you're replying to.
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 17:45
Jeff
Renderosity Senior Moderator
Hablo español
Ich spreche Deutsch
Je parle français
Mi parolas Esperanton. Ĉu vi?
i agree with the orange, you forgot invade a country and install a pseudo religion that causes a civil war , how irritating is that?
for
some free stuff i made
and
for almost daily fotos
Drive at night with your lights turned off going while 25MPH in the passing lane. And then look at people funny when they use their high beams on you. If you get pulled over for it, pull out the "discrimination card". I haven't done this myself, but I've been throughly annoyed by it. (It accounts for one of the few times I wish I had a Hummer or Semi.)
Your friendly neighborhood Wings3D nut.
Also feel free to browse my freebies at ShareCG.
There might be something worth downloading.
Pauljs: what's a "discrimination card".?
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
Mutter in public about how Hitler was right. Go back for "seconds" at communion. Get on an airplane. Begin drinking heavily. Ask the Stewardess if they use Moog parts in the flaps and stabilizer. Mention you used to work for Moog until they let you go because of your drinking. Say, What was that? no, nevermind. Did you hear that?" Start muttering, " sounds like a 21J, Oh God..Oh God!" under your breath at intervals.
Coming to the Bryce forum, telling how much Bryce sucks, how much better Vue is, and wonder why people dont ditch Bryce. Because it sucks... ;)
Rudolf Herczog
Digital Artist
www.rochr.com
Moog made hydraulics in the 60s. Don't know if they ever went into planes, but the stewardess won't know either. You could use Honeywell instead or whatever type plane you board (Boeing, Lockheed, etc.). How about this one: Get a White Van, white coveralls, hardhats, and some NASA logos. Go to a shopping mall in the morning. Pick a corner of the parking lot and start roping it off. Put a large white X and the word IMPACT in the center. If people ask what you are doing say "This is merely a precaution. Formal inquiries should be directed to the JPL." Drive off and leave the cones up. See how long it takes for someone to take them down.
Tell people on an airplane, i am sure as hell going to do it again later this week when i am leaving for 2 weeks in Osaka, that you made more starts than landings, it leaves them puzzled for while, and some will even come to the wrong conclusion ^_____^ Off course i don't mention that i made a couple of parachute-jumps some 20 years ago (wich is an extreme fun to do).
Robert van der Veeke Basugasubasubasu Basugasubakuhaku Gasubakuhakuhaku!! "Better is the enemy of good enough." Dr. Mikoyan of the Mikoyan Gurevich Design Bureau.
I really used to do these when I was in college (hey, I was bored): Walk into an occupied elevator. Press all the buttons so it stops at every floor. Stay on the elevator after everyone else gets off. Walk into an occupied elevator. Press the button for your floor. Face the rear of the elevator. Walk into an occupied elevator. Stand a little too close to another occupant. See if you can make them move without touching them or looking directly at them. Walk into an occupied elevator while carrying an umbrella. After the doors close, open the umbrella. Get off on the same floor as the other occupant. Close the umbrella and walk away.
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
When somebody is leaving the room you are in, call his name loudly, show them that you need their attention, pretend you have some kind of problem, best if they come to back to you. "What do you want?" "Have nice day" "Safe journey home" "See you next week" Works almost everytime.
Robert van der Veeke Basugasubasubasu Basugasubakuhaku Gasubakuhakuhaku!! "Better is the enemy of good enough." Dr. Mikoyan of the Mikoyan Gurevich Design Bureau.
Re: TheBryster Pauljs: what's a "discrimination card".? It's just a way of saying somebody is claiming discrimination or profiling as being the reason for being pulled over, even though the truth is that they're apprehended or cited for a valid reason. This is so they can skirt the law or just get a mere slap on the wrist. In some areas of the U.S. it happens a lot. (Although there are cases where the profiling/discrimination complaint is valid, but unfortunately this leads to miscreants playing the card more often.)
Your friendly neighborhood Wings3D nut.
Also feel free to browse my freebies at ShareCG.
There might be something worth downloading.
PaulJs: Many thanks! How to be annoying..... Lookout for a MoonGoat thread and obilterate it with inacurate quotes from Shakespeare and other famous people.
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
Another one is to tell stories getting off while people are getting on an elevator. It might go something like this: But of course, they never found the head. But what about the giraffe? Yes, that was strange. No zoo or circus for hundreds of miles. It's Iceland though... The damn thing didn't just walk up there! Well, the summer had been unusually warm. Maybe it had been there all along. What frozen in the glacier? Preposterous! I guess it doesn't matter to poor Henderson either way. But I thought Giraffes were herbivores? You only have to keep this up long enough for the doors to close.
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Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to
others that you "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for random times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting
entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental
movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary
mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's
"Metal Machine Music".
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/ OJ
Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until
physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
Leave extra long forum messages at Renderosity.
http://joevinton.blogspot.com/