Oooh...this makes me soo mad! Was at the store the other day. Still can't get this out of my mind: There couple at the check stand buying a few munchies, 2 cases of beer and cough syrup. They had a little girl with them. The couple looked like they had spent their life on a bar stool - you know the type? The poor little girl was filthy and had mucus running down her nose and lots of it. Poor 'lil thing had a nasty cough that sounded like whooping cough. The checker totaled up their items and the couple didn't have enough cash for all of it. So they told the checker to remove the couph syrup! Then the 'mom' turned to the little girl and said, "Sorry, we ain't got enough for the syrup." Can You BELIEVE that? Then, this brave guy in line ahead of me said to the 'dad', "Uh, why don't you take off one of your cases of beer? Your daughter obviously needs her medicine more than you need to drink!" Then the 'dad' turns around and with his meanest voice while rolling up his sleeve says, 'Ya see this tattoo? I done it in prison!" as if that was supposed to scare the other guy. Well, this other guy was twice as big as 'dad' and said 'I don't give a shi* and you're a lousy parent!" There were a few more words exchanged and the couple left...with their 2 cases of beer! When I got out to the parking lot, the 'dad' was yelling to the other guy who was getting into his truck that if wanted to make something of it to come over to him. The big guy shrugged and got of his truck and started to head over to the scum-bag 'dads' car. The 'dad' tore outta there fast! I was kinda disappointed cuz I kinda wanted to see that big guy kiss that scum-bag's arse, but they had their 'lil girl with them and I was glad it didn't happen for her sake. But my gawd! How come parents that want to adopt have to go through so much scrutiny to be parents and others that shouldn't procreate can just have kids and treat 'em like that? Sorry guys, I haven't been able to get this outta my mind and I just had to vent to get it off my chest!

Thats very sad to hear. I would have been inclined to pay the differance they needed to get the cough syrup for thier child...just to try and help her out...thats just the way I am. Man - I hate to hear stuff like this. (sigh) Clint

I was in the TOPS parking lot one day when some guy pulled up to another guy and started yelling at him that he was going to kick his arse. The other guy just wanted to leave but the guy yelling at him had in blocked in and won't let him leave. Both cars were full of young children. I watched this for a few minutes. Then I went over to the guys screaming obscenities and told them they weren't setting a good example for their children. The loud guy said he was mad because the other guy cut him off. Which was probably true. But he didn't do it on purpose. And he just wanted to leave. I told them both to just drop it and leave. The kids didn't need to be taught this poor behaviour. I stood there until they both left. There were lots of people watching this and wanted to do what I did. But they were too scared. Some of them were trying to call the police. I deal with disputes all the time in my line of work. So This wasn't anything new to me. Plus I was alone and I didn't have to worry about anyone but myself. I don't mind risking my own neck when the situation deserves it. People are simply out of control these days. -ScottA

Same here, even if it means I have to go without something.. sigh I HATE people like that..

I have two kids, i've gone months without razor blades, my own medications, and MEALS to make sure they have what they need. They come first, not the other way around. Its treatment as the "be seen and not heard" ethic, that drives me crazy. Somehow because they are children, their needs come last. That is why so many children are so disrespectful of adults and authority figures today. They figure, no one's really listening anyway. I do all i can for my kids (and some others i know that aren't even mine), because i KNOW one day, when they are all grown up, and I'm old, they will be taking care of ME.. because i took care of THEM. Is the way it should be.

hi. im a parent too of 3. but mine r in fostercare.. the fosterparnets of my youngest daughter, r well, not nice. the 'mom' usually threatens my girl, and shouts at her. she even hits her. i have seen this when i have visited my kid.. and the 'parents' didnt know/realise ever.. even the dad' is abusing my kid. it happened in march of this yr.. i saw the whole thing.. and i have reported him but no. nothing has been done. so. its a shame that ppl who r violent etc towards kids, should be punished.. :(

my point. no kids should have t suffer over adults w probs or from their frustrations etc.. :(

There are far too many stupid people in this world, and unfortunately most of those have kids. Some years ago I saw a woman slapping her kid repeatedly telling him/her to stop crying. Like slapping a kid across the head is going to make them stop crying!!!!!!!!!!! I walked up to her and told her to slap someone her own size who has a chance of slapping her back and offered up myself, making sure she knew she was going to get one in return if she hit me. I told her that if I saw her lay another hand on that kid I was going to take that child with me and turn it over to social services and press charges against her for child abuse. Some people are sooooo sick!!!!!!!!! As for the cough syrup, I would have bought it myself, just because the child obviously needed it, and the parents were too darn stupid to put her needs ahead of their own.

To ClintH: Yea, I would have offered to pay if the situation hadn't got so heated at the check stand between 'dad' and the 'nice guy'. I have to admit that I was intimidated by both the 'mom and dad'. I'm a small gal and they were both bigger than me! Sad, but true. To ScottA: Good for you - you are like the 'nice guy' at the check stand...not afraid to stand up for what you believe in. Tells a lot about a man's character! To Tiari: Yea, me too! I have 3 kids and a grand daughter. In 23 years, I too have done without MANY things. For a few years, when my oldest was 4,5 and 6, I was struggling financially. My son's clothes were brand new, but I shopped at thrift stores and garage sales to get clothes. I love my babies and want them to never fell poor...even if it means that I do! It's an honor to be their Mom. I don't spoil them, but by all means, they don't do without either! Good for you...you are a TRUE Mom!! To grylin: I am sooo sorry to hear that your children are in such a deplorable situation. Any chance you could call the police next time you witness abuse like that? In my state, kids in school, [3rd grade] are told by visiting officers, "If a parent hits you with anything other than their hand, it's abuse. If they hit you with their hand and it leaves a bruise, it's abuse" Check with your state laws and maybe the law can be on your side? Good luck to you and your children...

To Acadia: "As for the cough syrup, I would have bought it myself" --> Yea, I know, see my comment just above. And kudos about the woman hitting her kid - I saw something similar years ago. This guy spanked his 2 yr old daughter in a store for something she didn't do [I know cuz I saw] and then she started crying. He covered her mouth with his hand and kept yelling, "Shut up! Shut up or I'll give it to you again!" The wife just stood by and kept looking through the clothing rack as if nothing was happening. I said something to him as nice as I could about the fact that I saw that she didn't do what he was accusing her of and he screamed at me to mind my own and called me a few choice words. I had my own 2 yr old in a stroller with me and not wanting my son to witness an altercation, I got out of there as soon as I could. Sad, huh?

What the big man did was a good thing. But I think the wiser thing would have been to pay for the cough syrup then try to find out where they live. Follow them if necessary. Then report them to the local Children's Services. I can't speak for all areas, but in my county, Children's Services are very thorough investigating--and acting on-- allegations of neglect. Those poeple should have that child taken away from them, as you can bet this type of neglect is an every-day situation for her or him.

If I know the type you are talking about the "cough syrup" wasn't even for the child. They where probably hoping some kind sap would pay for there next hit. Very sad.

"Yea, I would have offered to pay if the situation hadn't got so heated at the check stand between 'dad' and the 'nice guy'." Webmaster - Yea - I underdstand for sure. Clint

Sigh, you should try working in the emergency room, see it every day and there is just so much you can do. One thing I don't miss is seeing folks smoking and drinking pop while their kids run around with no shoes or coat, horrible cold and these people are ticked because we couldn't give them free meds for the kids. Swallowed my tongue so many times I ended up with a permanent lump in my throat. Marque

This is really sad.It's hard to even put words on this kind of situation (and my english is not so good anyway) but I feel sad really. I just hope the child will not turn up to behave like his parents and will change not to do the same to his or her own kids in the future. Remember that we don't always make the same mistakes as our parents...at least not all the time.

To Marque: You have my gratitude for being an emergency nurse...without folks like you, where would we be? And I doubt if I could make it as one...I'm far too sensitive. I have heard that it desensitizes a person, but I think you have to be of a certain 'breed', if you will, to start with. Thanks for being one of the ones that takes care of people who need it and so sorry for things you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis! To neftis: You are right...we can change ourselves and be better parents than ours were. I am better in some ways than my own mother because I WANTED to be, ever since I was little. I knew what I would do differently when I had my own kids someday. And I did it! I'm not perfect, but I am better.

People like that should be neutered!

re: " People like that should be neutered!" Before, ........... or after they're hung? ;=[

Oh before definitely....they need to feel the pain ;-)

Sadly, those "bad parents" were probably raised the same way and honestly didn't think they were doing anything wrong....this kind of thing is generational. They were never taught that the kids come first because they probably never came first when they were kids. I most certianly not excusing their behavior, but just pointing out that in all likelhood these very same children you witnessed being abuse today will grow up and do the very same thing to their own kids. Shame, isn't it?

I don't know if this would have worked, but I would have gotten the license plate number and called the police. Leaving a child sick is like leaving a child unattended in a car. And it's a form of child abuse. Maybe the clerk knows who they were (maybe they are regular customers).

To amberlover13: Yes, I agree to some degree, but on the other hand...When I was growing up I went to other friend's homes. I saw all types of families. Even when I was young, I knew that there were differences and that there were 'good' homes and 'bad' homes. I stayed clear of the 'bad' ones as soon as I realized which were which. I saw all types of family lives. I knew there were parents who took their kids to dance classes, soccer games, had special parties for them, read them stories in bed and hugged them...etc. So, what I am saying is that people have to stop using the ole, "I was raised that way and don't know any better' excuses. We all have known all sorts of types of families from when we grew up...even as adults we visit other families homes and see first hand how they live. We all are accountable for our actions. I think 'bad' parents are simply immature, selfish adults that would rather keep repeating poor parenting than learning how to be good parents...cuz that takes work...and ALOT of it! Parenting is hard work and it's never ending. Those people are just lazy...but they know right from wrong. To jfike: Yea, it all happened so fast so no plate number. I don't think the clerk knew them just by her reaction to the whole scene. I was caught off guard. Next time, maybe I'll do better and think faster!

I hear ya on the lousy parent issue. I'm sort of involved in a situation like that now - just from a distance - and it frustrates me no end. It reached a point where last night my 19 year old neice had to call CPS on her own mother because of the way her younger brother is being treated. And most likely nothing will come of it other than alienating a girl from her mother and possibly removing her from her brother's life completely, which will be totally wrong, IMO. On the other hand, I see instances all too often where folks who are doing their best to be good parents are being castigated and called down in public by perfect strangers simply for doing their jobs - that is - protect the child from harm or danger. Example: I was in the supermarket the other day and a young woman with 2 kids was being berated by another woman. Why? Well, because this poor young Mom had one baby in the basket seat and the toddler in a shoulder harness with a leash attached at the back. It seems this woman thought "Mom" was just too abusive by having the toddler on a leash. Excuse me? Isn't it a parent's responsibility to keep a child from wandering off and getting into something that can harm him/her? As far as I could see, the child was in no pain or discomfort. And he was certainly a lot safer than he would have been riding in the cart full of cans, bottles and other assorted hard and sharp items. Second Example: Many years ago, when my son was a scatterbrained 6 year old who still couldn't seem to grasp the concept of LOOK before you cross the street, he stepped off the curb directly in front of a 2 1/2 ton Army truck (commonly known to some as a "deuce and a half"). I still had hold of his hand at the time and just instinctively snatched him back up on to the curb before he could get fully into the street. As the truck rumbled past, a woman standing beside us began to go into a tirade about how I shouldn't have yanked him like that I could have dislocated his arm or worse. I very calmly looked at her and said "Madam, I would much rather have a live child with a dislocated arm than one that needs to be scraped up off the cobblestones." Sometimes, as in the case of the first woman, people really DO need to mind their own business. But it's good to know that the second woman, at least, was concerned about my son's welfare enough to take me to task over it, even if she was off the mark. Kate Disclaimer: No children were harmed in the posting of this message. The young man who got yanked suffered no ill effects and has lived to the ripe old age of 30 in spite of his mother's rotten parenting. Whether he will survive the efforts of his OWN 3 children remains to be seen. As for the child on the leash? He got a nice plastic car as a reward for minding his mother and not running around in the store, so he was pretty happy with the whole deal as well, from what I could see from two spaces behind them at the checkout. It was a red car.

Webmaster, I totally agree with you. Being abused IS NOT an excuse to abuse of necglect your own children. And I know many adults that were abused as kids, and never did anything with their own. But since each of us has a unique make up, this abuse effects us all in different ways. And some victims are more damaged from the abuse than others. I'm not defending those sort of people in any way...just making a statement on the terrible situation.

/rant on

Along the same lines...

Why do people take exhausted children who so desperately need a nap out shopping, then get angry when the child is unable to behave?

Why do idiots let their babies and toddlers stand up in high chairs at restaurants?

Why do usually the same aforementioned idiots let their children run around restaurants and stores with no restraint? In stores there is something called a shopping cart or "buggy" as it's known in the Southeastern US. They have seating for small children for a reason.

Why do morons let their children ride unrestrained by seatbelts in the car? Talk about the HEIGHT of stupidity. Don't these idiots realize that if the car collides with another car that anything loose inside will continue to go forward at the original speed of... say 55 mph or whatever the car was moving at?

I always hear the excuses... "my child won't sit, won't be buckled, is too hyper, etc. etc. ad nauseum." Well, for those spineless individuals I always have an answer. My youngest (now 18, graduated today from HS in the top 15% of his class) has high-functioning autism. If ever there was a hyper child it was him. If he misbehaved in a public place we took him outside or to the car until he calmed down. He always rode strapped into a car seat from birth. Period. He learned to behave in public places due to discipline on our part. Not spanking. Discipline (there is a difference).

/rant off

Kate: Mine are 18 and 21. Somehow they do survive us. :)

Linda

one of the major problems with parenting today.. is lack of discipline and lack of respect. Parent's aren't being parents..(Most of them grew up in the latchkey kids phase and were home most of the time on their own. They were their own parents.) Single parent families were major and parents just wanted to go home and rest not do much at all. Those kids are now parents and learned those lessons from their parents. Those kids also learned that tired parents made for getting away with anything and everything. The kids that grew up in the 70's and 80's were kids who grew up without parental influences in the majority of their childhoods. We are seeing the result of it. Not all are bad btw.. but it's the bad ones you remember

To KateTheShrew: Re the kid 'on a leash'...I had to chuckle on that one! My 2 youngest kids are exactly 12 months apart [ya, ya, I know :-D ] and once in a store the 2 yr old walked away in just seconds while I was adjusting the 1 yr olds stroller belt. By the time I stood up, my 2 yr old was gone! In a panic, looking quite like a freaked out mom, I started running all over with the stroller, screaming my sons name. Store folks helped and we found him crouched down and hiding behind a counter. He was scared and didn't know where I was. After that, I got a wrist strap for him and he stayed smartly 'wrist strapped' to the stroller and NEVER wandered off again! I never cared if anyone thought it was cruel...I loved him to the depths of my soul and cared more about keeping him in my life! Fast forward to a month ago. That same 2 yrd old boy, now 15, saw a man with a child wearing a harness. My son whispered to me, "Mom, can you believe that? He's got a leash on that kid like a dog! How awful!" I turned to him and said, "Son, first off, that's not a leash...it's a harness. Second, you had something similar to that when you were little too." You should have seen the look my son gave me!!! He understood once I told him the above story. Ah! What a good laugh that was... To amberlover13: Yes, I understand what you're saying . Some are worse off than others. Those kind of folks should get/really need help. But the couple in the story that started this thread? They are pathetic! That poor little girl started crying when 'mom' said no cough syrup. I wish I was bigger...I wish I was stronger...I wish I could have stolen that girl and brought her home with me...Hmmmm...I bet they would have sold her to me for a few more cases of beer! To brynna: Here Here! Kudos on your ranting! By all means...rant some more! Maybe if we all rant more often, folks like them would get the message!

Message edited on: 05/22/2005 22:20

I once offered to buy a five-year-old child a bottle of water when it was over 100F outside, at a theme park. What was his mother buying him? Coke. As in, will dehydrate you more and make you hyper and sick Coke. When I told her, she told me in some lovely broken syntax that it ain't none of my business. Two hours later, the kid was in the theme park's clinic (or as my mom called it, the "Oh Sh*t Room") because he had fainted and wouldn't wake up. The... mother... was screaming at people saying "He's just lazy, he'll get up in a minute". This was shortly after being told (erroneously) that I couldn't have kids. Maybe I should have just offered to buy HIM off of her. :(

Heh. My oldest reminded me of an incident that made my ex and I look like bad parents at the time.

When Bobby, the youngest, was between 3 and 6 years old he was obsessed with bathrooms and toilets, the latter I assume because the swirling water spun and children with autism have a penchant for just about anything that spins. Due to that obsession he had to check out the bathroom in every public place we went and we usually did our best to oblige him. Unfortunately if the store had TWO bathrooms he had to check out the second one as well, and there wasn't always time or patience on our part.

For whatever reason one particular time we declined to let Bobby "check out the bathroom" at Walmart. Probably due to time constraints and/or the fact that he'd likely already had a look at it when we came in. He immediately threw a temper tantrum, to which my ex silently slung him over his shoulder and carried him out of the store.

Of course, what did he scream all the way down the aisle and out the door? "Help me! I have to go to the bathroom!"

I'm sure everybody at Wally World thought we being mean to our kid for not taking him to the bathroom. ;)

I'm with Clint, I would've offered to buy the cough syrup for the kid. While it feels good momentarily to confront neglecting and abusing parents, you have to remember that after they leave the child will be alone with them. If you make an abuser mad and shame them in public, they very well might take it out on the child when they get home. It's probably better to be "helpful" ("Oh my goodness, let me pay for that cough syrup, I know how it is when they're sick and you're running low on cash") than confrontational when you see an adult mistreating a child in public.

God, do I wish the ranting was enough to make a difference. ;) Worked in CPS for years in the investigative division. (The damned if you do, damned if you don't job.) I've seen way too much, and trust me, you don't want to know it. To grylin...honey, you need to call and keep calling. Call your local CPS, call the foster care agency if it isn't through CPS (every state, and even county, could be different, so I don't know.) But keep calling. If that is going on, sooner or later there will be some proof and they will get the bastard for it. Unfortunately, the curse of CPS is the proof, and since nobody is going to be honest and admit what is going on, CPS has a hard time sometimes progressing with the case, even if they know that the parents/foster parents are full of shit. In many areas, such as where I live/worked, we really have no authority till we go to the judge and get a court order. To do that, we need rock solid proof, which is difficult to get when parents lie out their backsides, and children are too afraid to tell on them. Just gets to be bad all around. But on the original subject...while I would have loved to buy the syrup for the poor child, we need to watch doing stuff like that, unfortunately. Experience has taught me that if something makes the parents angry or feel bad, even if it is something important like that, they will take it out on the child. :( Probably best way to progress is get the make/model/license of the car. Call CPS. They can trace the car in conjuction with the police and launch an investigation. There is probably a lot more going on in that family than just cough syrup. :( Angela

brynna....My 12yo has Aspergers (high functioning autism) and I had to laugh at your story. That is so typical of autistic kids. What gets me though is all the dirty looks you get from well meaning folks that only see the END of the story IE your boy screaming "help me I want to go to the bathroom".

A few of you have written that perhaps someone could have paid for the syrup for the little girl? I'm just wondering, do you think that maybe something like that is, um, enabling the parents to not act responsibly towards the girl in the future? I mean, by paying for the syrup when the parents DID have the money but decided to buy beer instead, wouldn't that have sent a message to the parents that, "Hey...it's OK that I am paying because I know you are too poor to buy it for her? So go home and drink your 2 cases of beer and while you're getting drunk...have no fear cuz some stranger will always be there to take care of your child?" I don't know if that came out quite the way I meant it to? Perhaps just getting their license plate number would have been the best way to go. I am thinking now that paying for the syrup wouldn't have solved the problem. Those parents most likely do things like this all the time and maybe turning them in would have been a badly needed wake-up call instead. There were several witnesses to this lovely little scene, so CPS would have the 'evidence' needed to start an investigation. What do you guys think?

You know honestly I know how you feel. A few years back.. I worked in a $$$$ deptment store in the mall. This lady and her 5 kids came up to the very pricey purses. These are 300.00 to 400.00 purses. She asks me to pull out a $300.00 (US) out of the case. She said ok, I'll take this one.. and that wallet also.. it was about a $400.00 sale. She then to my surprise.. turned around and told her kid (Which i'll never forget this), "Sorry kids, we aren't going to have much to eat this month. Mommy wants this purse." I about fell over... I really didn't want to sell her that purse after that. I don't understand why people are like that :( Ryuslilangel

"She then to my surprise.. turned around and told her kid (Which i'll never forget this), "Sorry kids, we aren't going to have much to eat this month. Mommy wants this purse." I about fell over... I really didn't want to sell her that purse after that."

Lol, more than likely she wasn't that serious (although you never know). Heck, I'll live off tuna for a couple of weeks for Prada. :)

What you saw, webmaster, was probably just what it was, their beer was more important than their kid. Sad too. I have a convenience store and see similar things. Not with medicines though, more along the lines of mom/dad buying their beer and then telling the kids there's not enough for a candy. I never know if it's the parent being selfish or their way of avoiding a hyper child. :) Sometimes what you see isn't what it is. I've been told I was carried out of Church at 2 or 3 years old screaming "don't beat me daddy!".

I have a very low tolerance for people who put so much importance on alcohol. There's nothing wrong with it, I enjoy it too but when every aspect of your life is affected by it, from your finances to always seeing the same guy drunk at every occasion, even kid occasions, it makes me want to shake sense into people.

Webmaster 421, First, don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. It's the people who see what you did and aren't emotionally touched by it who have the real problem. Secondly, It takes a "Real" man or woman to stand up for what is right, especially when children are involved. People are so selfish these days and those who protect children and truth are the real heroes in my books. The saying "When good men do nothing evil will prevail" is true. Part of the problem these days is people have lost their moral compass and have compromised their beliefs and we're reaping the results in society. Jesus Christ is my compass and I'm not ashamed to say it! Well I'll get off my soap box now.

lets just hope that ppl like the ones who wouldn't byy medicin e for their kid, grow up and put their child infront of their 'needs well, every parent who doenst give a damn about their kids. like my adoptive parents. they promised time and time again things like , holidays in florida, canada, etc. but would rather get drunk w friends at home and scream at each other :( oh well. hope things change for the better soon in this world :)

That story is really sad, I really feel for that little girl :( I probably woulda bought the syrup for her too honestly. The dad sounds like he had no priorities either, I mean going to jail is NOTHING to brag about, so that right there totally shows his character. And the mom should really be ashamed of herself, she really should have stepped up and made sure her daughter got the syrup, it is her responsibility to care for and protect the poor kid! :( As for the comment about the bad parenting being brought on by children in the past years being latchkey kids and stuff, I don't think that is completely accurate either, I was a latchkey kid for the first half of my life, and spent my teenage years in foster care (due to a severely neglectful and abusive mother, who it took years to get away from). I grew up, got over it, am married now to an awesome man and we have two children, who I honestly think I am a fantastic mom too.......instead of using the past as an excuse, what a lot of parents need to do, is look at the mistakes their parents made, and make sure they DON'T make the same mistakes. Once you are an adult the responsiblity falls on you to make your own descisions and decide what kind of person/parent you are going to be, regarless of how you were 'raised'. To Brynna, that story about your Bobby at the walmart is really cute! I can only imagine the scene though! ;D -Tif