Peculiararities of Life -Chuck The tear finding its way down her cheek forced her fingers to brush it away. Tears were annoying. And, left to stroll as they may, a bit itchy on her skin. A quick glance at the old mechanical clock on the table next to her computer revealed the day had ended and another was just beginning. Sheila discarded the late hour and, as she continued pressing keys into words, she wondered why she adored that old clock so much. She had upgraded her PC to the latest wonders but kept that stupid clock that couldnt keep time at all. But, the PC was her life and the clock, with its constant ticking, was just a reminder of time passing her by. It didnt matter if it was accurate. Another tear. Another keystroke. The only world she would ever know was placed neatly in front of her fingers and eyes. She would never have the usual comforts of a conventional life. A life spent in a swing with a loving husband behind herpushing his love into the small of her back as he catapulted her into a warm summer breeze. A ride that sent her away to enjoy a brief moment of exhilaration but always ending with her husbands touch as he sent her away on another flight. But always behind her. Waiting. Her life existed inside this monitor in front of her. No swing. No breeze. But, it was comforting. And safe. After all, there was no real man for herjust the PC. And with that sorrowful thought, she logged out, switched the power off to her computer, and turned around to face her lonely bed. Charlie placed his razor on the side of the sink, looked up and analyzed his face in the mirror beneath the naked 60-watt bulb that lit his dingy bathroom. A slight grin emerged on his face as he laughed at himself. A pudgy and aging man who wanted to be presentable in front of a monitor that couldnt know the difference. He shrugged it off, reached out, flicked the bathroom light off, and made his way to the corner of the bedroom where his computer waited. Charlie was lonely. Had been for most of his life, it seemed. Yeah, even his familiar-sounding name suggested a person of many friends. And friends he did have, but not the soul mate he searched for each night on his PC. Like an endless vicious circle, he situated himself on the chair, and logged in to his favorite chat room and briefly noted the exiting members: CoyGirl exits. BigJohn exits Proud Mary enters Shy Sheila exits

Rip it up! Needs more imagery, I suspect. Like most things I think about and can see clearly as hell in my mind, it never comes out the way I want. Like my art. But, I felt the need to express a thought, an idea. An idea that has always intrigued me...that somewhere in the world, one thing is going on, and in another part of the world, another thing is going on. And that it's a shame that fate should dictate that the two things should "miss" each other.

But Fate is a hunter. It preys upon the unwary suddenly snatching them into the experience they only dreamed as a possibility. Ripping is for poetry. Prose requires a sofer touch. Now Vignette's are one step up from poetry. From what I understand the art is in knowing when to leave something unsaid...kinda like a mystery. Clarity of image versus suggestion. look at your work and think if I didn't say that would its meaning still get across?

"But Fate is a hunter. It preys upon the unwary suddenly snatching them into the experience they only dreamed as a possibility." Or, keeping them from a posibility. (IMHO) "Clarity of image versus suggestion" Are you suggesting you would have gotten the meaning if I hadn't posted the "exiting members"? Is there a style to "vignettes"? If so, I had no idea. I just decided to call the little short things I think about as a slight peek into a life (or in this case, two lives).

No there's no syle but because of the brevity of the form you need to find that point. Too much detail will ruin it too little and your reader is clueless. There is a tightrope to walk and your skill will either leave the reader wanting to read more or your piece will be circle filed. In College writing we approached a vignette with the notion that you had 30 seconds to grab a readers's attention. That's it one shot no more. Make them want to read on... then pull the plug.

"a vignette with the notion that you had 30 seconds to grab a readers's attention. That's it one shot no more. Make them want to read on...then pull the plug." Then, there is sort of a style to it. Or at least a guideline. Hehe, I never knew that. I just thought I had thought of something that meant short. But what you said makes sense. I chose that term because I used it for some pics of my wife (gulp, shamless examples coming). I called the series "Pieces". Which, to me, meant bits and, well, pieces of a larger part which (supposedly) evoked interest and curiosity for a more in-depth look.

These are visual representations of why I developed the idea of vignettes...the written version. Not having the benefit of college and writing classes...I just did what I thought of. TJ gave a good definition, I think. Just as, I hope, these slight glimpses of my wife should invoke a desire to see more, I thought that written "vignettes" would invoke a desire to read more. PS: I know these pics are a bit off topic, but besides the shameless attempt at showing some of my photographic efforts, I wanted to show a visual idea of what I thought a vignette to be. Thanks in advance for any patience.

Now you know why I think the writers forum is a good forum for renderosity. Words convey graphic images...In this case I don't feel your photos go with your writing at least I hope not. Read Sylvia's new poem she has a graphic in the Poser gallery today. I think its great and asked her to post it here.

"In this case I don't feel your photos go with your writing " It wasn't intended to go with the story above...please re-read the PS of mine above.

How did you upload the photos to the forum? I'm still working on some things. I have a vignette I'll probably post later today...it would be nice if I could post it directly from my word processor but I haven't figured out how yet. You know with all this writing going back and forth the average file size is only about 2K compared with how many meg for the pictures. One picture is not worth a thousand words in this case: it worth millions.

Good morning, TJ! Not sure what you are asking, so pardon me if I am mistaken. When I write something long...I do it in Word. Then select all and copy. Then, duh, paste it to the message I want to create. But this way, you get standard formating. Others seem to apply HTML formating with allows bold, fonts, etc. As to pics....they need to be prepared ahead of time. Mine in this thread were pretty small...didn't want to spend much time uploading (and didn't want others to have to sit a while waiting for a trivial image post). Once prepared and saved off, just click on the browse button for the "Attach File" option and work your way to the pic(s). Pretty easy. The pic will always be on top..or first thing seen...text underneath. Is this what you meant?

The fine line that TJ expressed above has, seemingly, fallen short of gving the message I wanted to. So, hehe, I'll try to explain. Two people. Both lonely. Both "living their life" in front of a world sponsored by their PC. The vignette tries to show how a few seconds in time forbids these two from "meeting"...and perhaps finding each other in real life. But, alas, when the writer has to explain it, then it hasn't been written well enough. As TJ "suggested". Sigh...

I think if you had given her a name in the first sentence of her story, and then had the echo of the name in the people who left the chat room, it would have been clear enough, though I have to say I understood it perfectly well as is. Good job!

There didn't seem to be a way to put the name in the opening but now that I read it again, I could have said, "...down Sheila's cheek...". Maybe hearing a name in the beginning IS better. Otherwise, it might be missed later on.

For me, that's all the clarification I would need. These are people who are just missing each other...what is farce in a comedy is tragedy in a drama, and timing is everything in either. For me, personally, it seems complete. To me a vignette is like a snapshot...a small moment of time that you can grasp quickly. I think you succeeded at that.

I understood the writing, still trying to find the 'love being pushed into the small of her back' in the pictures. Is this one of those images with a hidden picture inside? I could never get those. Chuck, Chuck, Chuck....you say you know little but your craftmanship identifies you as a bonafide writer. I had no problems understanding what was going on. It is a universal subject; YEARNING. I leanrt a little something also - how you make past tense seem present tense. "a bit itchy on her skin' threw me off the emotion - but that might just be me, I figured it was a metaphor that went over my head. Good piece Chuck. Thanks

"...small of her back" Yeah, that might be "stretching" it a bit. The idea was when a person pushes someone in a swing, they usually place their hands in the small of the back, or even hips. The picture in my mind was like this and the idea (I failed) to convey was that each time he pushed her, his hands "transmitted" his love for her. Guess I fell short. (sheepish grin) "...itchy on her skin" Yeah, you got me there, too. Maybe the word tickle would be a bit more "alive" with the proper emotion than the clinical-sounding "itchy". I just know how a rolling tear irritates me--a cross between a tickle and an itch. So, probably not you...me. Tks for reading and the comments!

Yeah, nu-be, I think the operative word is "formulaic".

I really liked this piece Chuck. We always start out that way dont we, then say what we think would be better.Such a strange dance we do here. I dont know about the others but I had one question when reading. " Why cant she have someone ? " I kept waiting to read how she had been home bound by some terrible accident or some unusual illness. Maybe it is just my romantic nature or undying faith in fate but hard for me to accept that anyone is doomed to a life alone.Even the pudgy little man, Charlie, who shaved before signing in, shared my views. PS: Great pictures..and yes just as in your written vignette the visual version left me wondering about more.

It's not true that there is someone for everyone. Some people are alone by choice. Some are not. It is simply not accurate to say that everyone will end up with a partner in this world. That's the world of fantsy, but it is not the real world.