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Poser - OFFICIAL F.A.Q (Last Updated: 2024 Nov 21 6:06 am)



Subject: OT: How exactly do you get a GF when you're old and unexperienced?


tebop ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 9:15 AM · edited Fri, 22 November 2024 at 9:11 PM

I've never had a GF. THUS i use Poserand daz to make virtual GF s. but it just doesn't work and it's tedious and robotic.

I want a real GF but i have no clue how to do it.

People say you meet women in daily life. Not really, girls never approach me or even look at me.

And when i have guts to talk to them in public places( rare but sometimes i do) they don't like it. They lie to me , they give me email etc but never answer... maybe they give me fake number etc.

 

anyways, help


Daymond42 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 9:23 AM

Personally, I'd watch Weird Science for inspiration.. :>

 

Underwear on head is optional, though. nods

 

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SamTherapy ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 9:29 AM

No idea.  I'm old but experienced. :D

Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.

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lmckenzie ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 9:38 AM

Find a nice older woman who might be grateful for the attention. Of course, nowadays, the 40-50ish ones are sought by younger men into the 'Cougar' craze, so shoot for 60. Still plenty of well preserved and engertic ladies of that vintage around.

"Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance." - H. L. Mencken


Zev0 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 9:56 AM · edited Thu, 05 May 2011 at 9:59 AM

Easiest way. Start off with a female you wont be intimidated by. Start off with somebody thats not a supermodel appearence wise. The biggest mistake guys do is go for somebody out of their league at first. (yes classes do exist) You aim for that later once you've gained experience. First step is to be comfortable with a female. So start off lower down the foodchain. My first chick was a heavyweight but she gave me the confidence and later I could persue a wider spectrum. Learn the basics from her. It's hard at first if the person around you makes you nervous because she is "so hot". It may seem shallow to some but it is the best way to gain confidence. Then work your way from there. But dont break any hearts promising the world. Make sure you have ground rules established that this is just casual. Another thing, women love confidence in a guy, not arrogance:)

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dphoadley ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 9:56 AM

Advertise in the personals of your local newspaper.

  STOP PALESTINIAN CHILD ABUSE!!!! ISLAMIC HATRED OF JEWS


Zev0 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:01 AM

Oh and watch that show "pickup artist". Its about guys that are in a similar boat that learn how to pick up chicks.

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WandW ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:01 AM

Go to church-lots of nice ladies there.  You can chat with people at coffee hour in a no-pressure setting.  Don't make the goal finding a GF, but instead make friends with women, and eventually you will come across one who will grow fond of you...

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Cariad ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:08 AM

Step one, get up and walk away from your computer. 

Step two, Go outside and meet people.

Usually a good place to start.


Gareee ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:13 AM

The biggest thing, seriously? Everyone I know thats always single is at home for one reason or anoher most of the time.

Get the hell out, and mingle. Do things you like where there are others that are like minded. If you aren't out interacting with other people, you'll never meet anyone at all.

And be mindful of your appearance. Us guys can be happy in a 10 year old t-shirt, and 70's bell bottomed jeans, but get some clean up-to-date clothes. They don't have to be anything expensive, but look at least like you are in the 90's. ;)

Also grooming. yeah women love the scruffy looking unbathed, unshaven, unkept guys on tv, but in real life, they'll cross the street to avoid you.

Out of shape? No excuses. Work to get back IN shape. And not in the house. Get the hell out. (See the first paragraph.)

Nothing comes without effort, and relationships are the same way. Put as much effort into yourself as you do in zbrush! ;)

 

Way too many people take way too many things way too seriously.


TheOwl ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:18 AM

Quote - Oh and watch that show "pickup artist". Its about guys that are in a similar boat that learn how to pick up chicks.

 

DONT ITS FULL OF BULL.

Passion is anger and love combined. So if it looks angry, give it some love!


SamTherapy ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:19 AM

The only useful advice I can think of is to learn guitar and join a band.  You'll have to beat them away with a shitty stick.  :D

Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.

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pakled ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:31 AM

QFT, even I found a wife whilst in a band...;)

Check your  personal appearance and  mental attitude as well; and remember that 'typical woman' is an oxymoron. Go places where women are, maybe think about what you really want, and where you might find it.

There's actually a show called Pickup Artist?..;) Cripes a mighty, 'picking up chicks'...that's a blast from the past...;) Yeah, as mentioned previously, what works for one guy probably won't work for another, and no matter who, it depends on the woman...

I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit

anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)


stewer ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 11:57 AM

Quote - The biggest thing, seriously? Everyone I know thats always single is at home for one reason or anoher most of the time.

Get the hell out, and mingle. Do things you like where there are others that are like minded. If you aren't out interacting with other people, you'll never meet anyone at all.

Correct. The best way to meet lots of people (including women) is hobbies. Take an arts class, like sculpting or drawing. You'll meet like-minded people and since you have the same hobby, you have something to talk about right away. Talk to anyone there, not just the ones you find attractive - you'll meet nice people that you would have ignored otherwise and you'll eventaully get much more comfortable around strangers.


EClark1894 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 12:40 PM

I agree with W and W. Go to church. Or take a class. As Gareee notes, any thing to get you out of that damn house or apartment and away from your computer.




kyhighlander59 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 12:42 PM

why bother, just subscribe to Playboy and don't leave yourself open for heartache. LOL

 


Khai-J-Bach ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 12:51 PM

chloroform and a large sack.



SamTherapy ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 12:53 PM

Quote - chloroform and a large sack.

:lol:

Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.

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NanetteTredoux ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 1:31 PM

Better yet, take a class in something females are interested in. You could also join a charity organisation if you are not religiously inclined.

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TheOwl ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 1:34 PM

A dancing club would be a good start to look for one.

Passion is anger and love combined. So if it looks angry, give it some love!


Hawkfyr ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 2:06 PM

First...Drink booze until you become an alcoholic...Then...go to Alcoholics Anonymous....

When it comes to finding relationships in AA...The Odds Are Good...

...But The Goods Are Odd.

lol

Tom <~~ Kidding

“The fact that no one understands you…Doesn’t make you an artist.”


Miss Nancy ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 2:09 PM

the big problem: he's in L.A. - money talks, and everything else walks.  what I've heard is that even average-looking guys will get hit on by some ladies almost anywhere, if they try to act interested in said ladies.  it may actually be kinda creepy at first, but they're the ones with the cash.  the ones with the bling are probly not gonna waste time, as they're already overcompensating for a lack of cash and personality IMVHO.  YMMV.

p.s. it also helps to work out, get a tan, act confident et al.  nice hair, brush yer teeth, clean clothes and that.



Winterclaw ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 2:22 PM

Wait for gynoids to be invented.

WARK!

Thus Spoketh Winterclaw: a blog about a Winterclaw who speaks from time to time.

 

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Acadia ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 4:15 PM

Quote - Better yet, take a class in something females are interested in.

 

Yepp!  There is some retired hockey or football  player coming here to talk.  While neither my friend or I like sports, we have decided to go. We figure that there will be men from all walks of life there, and it could very well work out to our advantage

"It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try as we may, we are never
able to know ourselves fully as we are, especially the evil side of us.
This we can do only if we are not angry with our critics but will take in good
heart whatever they might have to say." - Ghandi



TheOwl ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 4:23 PM

Any of you ladies here in the forum consider to give tebop a sympathy relationship?

 

He might be the nice guy you are looking for. I think he offers a 30 day Trial.

Passion is anger and love combined. So if it looks angry, give it some love!


RedPhantom ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 4:36 PM
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Good grooming, clean semi fashionable clothes, clean hair, deoderant, light on the cologne - don't bathe in it, clean teeth, fresh breath - try gum. 

Get out of the house. Do something in groups, take a class, go to church (or other place of worship) Don't use pick up lines. Talk with the woman a few times before asking her out. Talk about real world things, not poser. Don't mention vicky or nviatwas. You can share that later if you 2 hook up and you know if she's secure with you looking at naked women (no matter how fake they maybe). Don't push too hard. My DFL is single again after 48 years and has scared off more women by being to eager and I don't mean physically either.

Don't be afraid to let friends set you up.

You say you are old, but then use the term girl. Are you looking at much younger women? If so, you might try women more your age. Otherwise you might not want to call them girls. Women might not like to be called old, but they don't like to be called childs either.


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Acadia ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 4:54 PM

You seem more comfortable in an online environment, so you can try online personals

 

http://www.100bestdatingsites.com/

Some browsers such as Yahoo also offer friend finder personals. My friend met her husband (now ex) through Yahoo personals.

Some of the sites in the link above are free, others are not. Some of the free ones that I know of are Lavalife, match.com, plenty of fish. Some sites are free to advertise but if you want to make contact with someone you have to pay money to do so.  You'll have to click through the links and read the sites to find that kind of stuff out.
If you have money to spend on a dating site, you can try eHarmony.  There they match you based on personality and interests and goals rather than by looks.

At those friend finder sites you can advertise for your specific location, or anywhere in the world.

Something to keep in mind on thos friend finder sites. There are a lot of game players such as lonely married people looking for affairs, some prostitutes use these sites to find clients, etc. etc.   And no one is screened by the police, so it's up to you to weed out the weirdos.

"It is good to see ourselves as others see us. Try as we may, we are never
able to know ourselves fully as we are, especially the evil side of us.
This we can do only if we are not angry with our critics but will take in good
heart whatever they might have to say." - Ghandi



wolf359 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 5:00 PM

So the rift between our two universes has opened briefly
 Allowing "JosterD"
to return home and "Tebop"
to re-appear on our side.....oh joy!!!



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Dave-So ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 5:23 PM

grocery store is a good place, but don't be overzealous checking out your new chosen woman while you passionately fondle the melons.

Really, the grocery store is a great place. just open up with idle chit chat about the price of beef and chicken, the rising cost of milk, and all that, then casually slip in that you're going to be cooking out and would you want to come over for a steak ? maybe a beer ?

also, just be real..none of that phoney stuff. Hey, I'm an old fart too, but if you're nice and just talk about stuff, especially when there's a few people around..and be humerous...its a real ice breaker.

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together.
All things connect......Chief Seattle, 1854



scanmead ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 6:13 PM

grrr... although I haven't reached 60 yet, desperation has never reared its ugly head. Old doesn't mean no standards, and, if you're over 50 and single by choice, well, it's by choice.

Second, grocery stores are full of people who just want to buy food, get through the long lines, and get the heck out of there.  Please do not try to flirt when I'm ticked off about the price of tenderloins.

What's wrong with just enjoying things by yourself? Leave romance to those young enough to put up with the stress.

Yes, I'm a grinch.


geep ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 6:14 PM

Quote - > Quote - Better yet, take a class in something females are interested in.

 

Yepp!  There is some retired hockey or football  player coming here to talk.  While neither my friend or I like sports, we have decided to go. We figure that there will be men from all walks of life there, and it could very well work out to our advantage

:lol:

You go girl ............. and good luck! 👍

Remember ... "With Poser, all things are possible, and poseable!"


cheers,

dr geep ... :o]

edited 10/5/2019



Dave-So ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 6:22 PM

hey, I've always wanted to be a hockey or football player, and I'm not retired...does that count?

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together.
All things connect......Chief Seattle, 1854



tebop ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 7:46 PM

Classes seem to work with people who are already outgoing gregarious people. But i was in school for all my life and there were women and i never met them.

Most outgoing people dont' like antisocial people who are just starting and trying to talk for the first time.

They like experienced people who can come up with great conversations.

 

So i don't see how classes may help me.

But thanks all. great comments


Dave-So ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:19 PM

well then, screw the classes. wait...that's comes later in the date.

Really ... and seriously .... to get used to talking to people and socializing a bit..go to the store, the grocery store..and just chat up people..just a little bit. it will help with your confidence ... and you will see that people will start to respond. Almost everybody seems to try to stick to themselves, avoid eye contact, and all that stuff. We all need to loosen up a bit.

Just walk down the street and say hi to people. a lot will still ignore you, but the nice ones will say hi back, and maybe even smile. It all helps your ego. just blow off in your mind the crappy ones. they may have more on their minds and in their lives then you even want to deal with and know about anyway.

I'm actually pretty shy and introverted. I've forced myself to just start talking. quite often people look at me like I'm nuts, but I've learned to figure out what they're about a bit and just throw out some off the wall comment, and damn, they laugh..and when that happens, they open up to you. Its really strange, but its that ice breaking moment.

Believe me ... I've been around a bit, in many different cities, and in different situations with different types of people. We're all a bit closed and distant, for the most part.

And someone did recommend church ... this can be a bit cliquee as well, but most believers are pretty nice folks and will be friendly.

It all takes time, especially if you've not been around a lot of people. just don;t give up if you are really truly interested in meeting somebody. And I tell you what..a lot of younger women like older guys ..money or not. It depends on if they're looking for a nice guy or are in the stage of needing to have mr jockstrap. A lot of very beautiful, smart young women would prefer a more mature, intelligent guy. someone who is more into them than themselves.

 

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together.
All things connect......Chief Seattle, 1854



Dave-So ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:24 PM

and just to say...I worked at a very large university for quite a few years, and still work around a lot of women..all ages... I'm overweight, very average or less looking, out of shape, old 60+ ..but , believe me, if you're listening to what women are telling you, they will be interested in you. You just need to be honest, polite, friendly. Don't act like a wad. Don't be a poser.

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together.
All things connect......Chief Seattle, 1854



ShawnDriscoll ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:24 PM

Watch Cary Grant movies (his later ones).

www.youtube.com/user/ShawnDriscollCG


Dave-So ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:30 PM

oh ..and if you are older and have been at least watching TV ..or whatever... I mean, damn dude, you must have been doing something all your life, yes? reading, doing 3D stuff...art, whatever..plus you said you have been going to school all your life...

well there you have it ... stuff to talk about.

Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it.
Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together.
All things connect......Chief Seattle, 1854



kyhighlander59 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:31 PM

Forget about the personal ads, most of those are hookers. The obits are the place to score. There was an older man who came home from his wife's funeral to get half a dozen calls from women, whom he had never met, wanting to meet him.


imagination304 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:43 PM · edited Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:46 PM

CHANGE (your mind and your appearance)

No change, nothing happens.

You may easily find books on this topics in Amazon or bookstore.


TheOwl ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:49 PM · edited Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:50 PM

Attached Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uk2s9A_yOjI

 

WARNING Drunk cussing guy talking in this video. 

 

Quote - grocery store is a good place, but don't be overzealous checking out your new chosen woman while you passionately fondle the melons.

Really, the grocery store is a great place. just open up with idle chit chat about the price of beef and chicken, the rising cost of milk, and all that, then casually slip in that you're going to be cooking out and would you want to come over for a steak ? maybe a beer ?

also, just be real..none of that phoney stuff. Hey, I'm an old fart too, but if you're nice and just talk about stuff, especially when there's a few people around..and be humerous...its a real ice breaker.

Passion is anger and love combined. So if it looks angry, give it some love!


kyhighlander59 ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 8:56 PM

With all BS aside, if this is a serious question here is a serious answer. Contact a professional match maker. They are discreet and you'll have a better match than you will do on your own.


moriador ( ) posted Thu, 05 May 2011 at 10:50 PM

Lots of good advice by people here, except the pick-up artist stuff. Pickup tactics only work for very charismatic men. The rest look fake and desperate. Fake and desperate is not attractive.

You say you're old... but not how old.

If you're over 30 and still having trouble with this, I think it may be time to admit that you have some serious social anxiety problems (or maybe you're in the asperger's spectrum, which presents its own unique challenges), in which case, perhaps some work with a therapist who specializes in this kind of thing is what you really need.

You say that girls rarely approach you. Is that really a surprise? People rarely approach random strangers for no good reason. It seems as though you just expect women to come to you. It doesn't work that way unless you're Brad Pitt.


PoserPro 2014, PS CS5.5 Ext, Nikon D300. Win 8, i7-4770 @ 3.4 GHz, AMD Radeon 8570, 12 GB RAM.


SteveJax ( ) posted Fri, 06 May 2011 at 1:01 AM

Stop hanging around here.


RobynsVeil ( ) posted Fri, 06 May 2011 at 1:45 AM

You might look at the phrase "get a GF" and reconsider what exactly your objectives are. Short-term relationship? Sex? Or are you looking for a soulmate? Each of these require a somewhat different approach.

If it is a serious, long-term relationship you are after, confidence, grooming, cleanliness, sincerity, honesty, faithfulness, a good sense of humour: these are some appealing attributes you can work on whilst you learn to socialise. Remember, you want the appeal to last longer than just that initial meeting: those traits will help you develop and maintain a friendship with that special person, which will sustain you through the inevitable hiccups one encounters in a relationship. Develop friendships first. Relationships will follow.

This is not about "acquisition" (get)... it is about developing a relationship. A relationship implies commitment.

The ball is in your court.

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Darboshanski ( ) posted Fri, 06 May 2011 at 9:53 AM

Kudos to you RobynsVeil an excellent post!

My Facebook Page


RobynsVeil ( ) posted Fri, 06 May 2011 at 4:14 PM

😄 Thank you.

Monterey/Mint21.x/Win10 - Blender3.x - PP11.3(cm) - Musescore3.6.2

Wir sind gewohnt, daß die Menschen verhöhnen was sie nicht verstehen
[it is clear that humans have contempt for that which they do not understand] 

Metaphor of Chooks


scanmead ( ) posted Fri, 06 May 2011 at 4:35 PM

People of Walmart. Just my cup of tea. /sarcasm

One more tip? Don't let any potential partners see this thread. Trying to make virtual girl friends is a very large red flag.


Cage ( ) posted Fri, 06 May 2011 at 11:36 PM

Of course, a relationship could really cut into one's Poser time, and one's 'Rosity time.  So there's that to consider.  It could mean spending less time with virtual people who bend kind of funny.  (Which might describe either the Poser figures or your fellow 'Rosity denizens.  Hmm.)

 

Just sayin'....  :unsure:

===========================sigline======================================================

Cage can be an opinionated jerk who posts without thinking.  He apologizes for this.  He's honestly not trying to be a turkeyhead.

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joequick ( ) posted Sat, 07 May 2011 at 1:28 AM

http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738 Myself and most of my guy friends would argue that there's value in the above. We were in our mid twenties when we read it, and all at different stages of long term relationships. But we all learned something. All those painful unrequited loves, I understood what had made me unappealing. A buddy who's a forman uses it to maintain authority.

@Daz3d
@ShareCG


moriador ( ) posted Sat, 07 May 2011 at 3:27 AM

RobynsVeil... well put, indeed!

I wasn't sure how to say what you said without sounding rude.

Yeah, there's some strange language surrounding each gender's approach to partnering. Men "get" girlfriends, as though they're pursuing objects not relationships. Women "find" husbands, as though the men are lost without them. Sexist in both cases. Subtle language differences affect how we perceive a problem. We need to reframe our thinking.

Then again, it's not just in Poserland that we "make" friends... though we probably won't pose them, unless they're very drunk and we want revenge for a malicious Facebook tag.


PoserPro 2014, PS CS5.5 Ext, Nikon D300. Win 8, i7-4770 @ 3.4 GHz, AMD Radeon 8570, 12 GB RAM.


moriador ( ) posted Sat, 07 May 2011 at 3:43 AM · edited Sat, 07 May 2011 at 3:45 AM

Quote - http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738 Myself and most of my guy friends would argue that there's value in the above. We were in our mid twenties when we read it, and all at different stages of long term relationships. But we all learned something. All those painful unrequited loves, I understood what had made me unappealing. A buddy who's a forman uses it to maintain authority.

I didn't read this book. The reviews suggest that he is offering advice that any woman would think obvious. "Intrigue a beautiful woman by pretending to be unaffected by her charm; also, never hit on a woman right away. Start with a disarming, innocent remark.... And finally, the most important characteristic of the pickup artist--smile."

Um, d'uh!

So, yes. If this book is filled with such advice, I'd suggest buying it. It will probably help.

I did read a similar book aimed at women. Worked. Like a charm. Literally. It did not help me to maintain a long term relationship at all (real friendship is the best foundation, IMO). But it gave me a few 4-6 month ones that I might not have enjoyed otherwise.

I'd be cautious with the "negging" (tactical putdowns), though. I've seen more than a few guys get doused with drinks, cut to shreds with malicious rejoinders, and even one who got headbutted after trying this one. Outside of reality shows, today's young woman does not put up with that crap nearly as readily as my generation did.


PoserPro 2014, PS CS5.5 Ext, Nikon D300. Win 8, i7-4770 @ 3.4 GHz, AMD Radeon 8570, 12 GB RAM.


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