Warning, this is a vent...sorry, you guys are the only support I have......
Okay, who in the universe did I p*ss off, I really want to know...bad enough hubby lost his job and can't find work, but now the dog has a tumor on his lip that may need surgery, I have another bunny that's taken ill, the frellin' car just went up, (cam shaft and a freeze plug, or some such thing), my printer power supply shorted out, no printer, and I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.....I really don't look forward to being one of the homeless in America....
We've always tried to help others when their down, we've always donated to upteen difference causes, Todd's actually bought meals for the guys out of work, so where have we gone wrong, what the hell is going on?
Why is all this stuff being heaped on us? I want answers...does anybody have any answers? I really want to know... I hate getting up in the morning for fear that something else has happened we can't do anything about, god I'm depressed, now I know why people commit suicide, it's just easier than dealing with this crap....
I just want it to stop......

I'm really sorry to hear that Dear.. What kind of answers are you looking for?.. on one hand, That kinds of things happen.. animals that are ills, car problems, etc.. on the other hand (and it's only my opinion) I believe that things happen in correlation to our mood, I mean, If you are afraid that something bad happen.. there is a lot of change that it happen, you said that you get up in the morning with the fear that something has happened, Try to believe, really believe that something good is gonna happen very soon, and it will! don't loose the faith (whatever your beliefs are) you and only you got the power to make your life what you want it to be... so don't let the fear and anger eat your mind, you want that crap to end? Ok ask for what you need, but with a real conscious, I mean don't hope that it will get better.. but Believe that it will get better, really believe and it will happen. very soon, I promise! ( it has worked for me when I went through very very hard times ) so it must work for you. Warm regards (sorry to dare putting that in words with my poor language)

I have a quote from a famous movie for you, Zhann 'Humans are at their very best when things are at their worst.' I've been going through a stage whereby I daren't fix anything that's broken because that would make something else go wrong even though the two things are totally unrelated........I change a lightbulb and a leg falls off a chair...that kind of thing......to use an expletive....S**t happens.........

Don't feel bad. I'm in the same boat. Been out of work for 17 months now and were scrapeing the bottom of the barrel now. One thing we have going for us is I helped the wife finish school. She now has a degree in Business Management. Some day our ship will come in, (before we become homeless to).

I am sorry you are having a hard time. I cannot give you answers for this, but feel entirely confident that you will endeavor to persevere and will eventually come out on top of the situation. I also am unemployed at the moment, so there is alot of it going around. I BLAME GEORGE BUSH FOR THAT THOUGH. Good luck and I will remember your family in my prayers.

Zhann, please hold on to hope, but know that things can run in a bad spell for a time. I know all about linking unrelated things. The first time I seriously tried to lose weight, I got down to a very nice size, and my husband almost left me. Took me years (five to be exact) before I put my full efforts into losing the weight again. I knew it was silly to link weight loss to husband leaving but I did it again and this time he did leave, LOL! Ok but also, we would get paid every two weeks and twice a year we'd have a month that would have 3 paychecks in it. But it seemed like everytime one of those months came up he would lose his job. It was rough, really rough for a while. I hope you fair better than I did although I may not be any worse off without my husband. Sometimes I think things happen for a reason and other times I just can't see it. I also know what you're feeling, for me it was tough to keep moving, going to work, getting out of bed etc. My thoughts are with you and anytime you need an ear just IM me. Angela

Ew. I know how you feel. I've been plagued with minor and less minor misfortunes ever since my cat disappeared in March. Various bits of computer equipment went to hell and never came back and I cannot really afford to change them. Will a virutal hug make you feel better?

Thanks guys, I'm so desparately trying to keep a positive attitude, and I know that others are going thru the same thing, I just needed to say it outloud to start thinking of ways to turn it around.....

Jan, I've seen 43 summers, 24 years of my son's life, etc,etc. I've got a 4" scar at the base of my sternum where I was stabbed, a compressed vertebre in my back, impact nerve damage to my left leg. My younger brother has Marfan syndrome(rare muscle disease)& will be gone before me, my sister has MS, and my Mom's a cancer survivor.That's only some of it. I love the fact that every morning I wake up...Period. I won't get to do this again...Ever. I'm a hard working contractor and I love to take on the world and whatever it can throw at me. It does get tiring to give & endure, and we can only wake up again tomorrow & take on what comes. Jan, I love your artistic creations, and the person I know you as here in this forum. Two things will make it easier...Love & Laughter. My thoughts are with you. Rod

p.s. I laugh at almost everything. ;)

:)

Well, I agree with TheBryster's quote. We do find more hope in our distressed times when life looks most grim. Perseverence is the key. Keep forging ahead and you will see things starting to get better. Here is a BIG HUG for ya Zhann... ((((HUG)))) 8)

Hang in there! Here's another hug. Peggy

I could try and say a lot of deep things to help but for some reason and no joke no when I get depressed I start singing. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

I know that may not have been the best answer so Zhann you know I love your art so hang in there.

I'm a bit young to claim that "I know what you mean" but in my own right I do I guess. I understand what you're going through. At one point in my life my family and I were in a terrible car accident mother/father in the hospital for 12 months, they got divorced as soon as they got out, I had to live with a foster family because my grand parents refused to take us, they refused to take me to see my parents, they only took me for the money that DSS or whoever handles that was paying them, I was one of 6 other foster kids for the better part of a year. After the fact my father refused to pay child support, my mother didn't sue the drunk driver that hit us because it's not part of her values, and she couldn't work because she was physically disabled for the better part of the next two years, which she didn't collect on (she is a proud woman). I, being 7, was not much help as well as my then 2 year old brother. We had what we kindly refered to as 'macaroni summer' because all we could afford was bulk macaroni (store brand, not kraft) and ramen noodles. Needless to say we eventually climbed out of the hole, and it was pretty damn deep, therefore, I am sure you'll find your way out. It may seem like the walls are too steep and crumble when you try to climb up, but remember, the dirt eventually fills up beneath you and the hole becomes shallower. untill you have leveled your life once again. Best of luck, ~Ornlu~

HUGSSSSSS Zhann I'm sorry to hear about all of your troubles, but if there's one thing i learned....things happen for a reason....always, and without doubt... without going too personal, here's a lighter less private example... a summer about 4 years ago, i found out i was pregnant with my second baby... the next day, i got a call from my grandmother saying that my biolical father (who i had just recently gotten to know) had a very very bad accident the day before... the safety failed on a gun he was using to lay russion roulette with, he was body was still funcioning with support, but he died instantly as far as his brain is concerned. I cried for a long time that i wouldn't have the chance to know him as a daughter should, and that he never got to know his granddaughters... Now, 4 years later, i have a beautiful lil girl, who is the spitting image of him, in both looks and behavoir (which isn't always a good thing lol) So I know he is close.... I dotn' believe in reincarnation, but i believe he is her guardian angel, watching over her, protecting her and guiding her and maybe teaching her a few things here and there.... things always happen for a reason....we may not know, or like the reasons, but they are there... try to use this time to look inside you....to see what you are made of, and to find your inner strength...the you that is inside just waiting to get out and kick some a..err ummm butt....lol use this time to become strong in who you are, not what you are or what you have...but the Jan inside... i wish you the best of luck, and am praying that things will begin working out again..... Jen

Zhann, I have a very high regard for you as an artist and as the generous person we all know from our time spent with you in the Forum. I hope everyone in the Forum will join me in sending positive and uplifting intentions your way. I am visualizing the black clouds breaking up and warm sunshine pouring through to warm you and yours. May good fortune and new happiness be yours my friend. Oh, and a big hug as well!

Woke up this morning to read this..I know how you feel..I'm in a bad shape now..divorced 2 yrs ago after I got married to someone against my family's wishes, out of a job since then, living with a grouchy father who hasnt' forgiven me, nothing I do seems to be right..I feel really displaced in this world since everyone seems to think differently. Zhann..chin up. I know I'll be quoting Hindu philosophy when I say..what has to happen, will happen..what bad happens will pass, what happiness happens will pass too, so accept what you get with all the courage and cheer that you can muster. Times, things are really bad..I've gone thru hell my last exhib..I wasn't on this forum, there wasn't anyone I cld talk to about bryce, I was creating images that came frm within me..and I cldn't stop crying. Just cldn't. I'd go sit at a coffee shop with my laptop just to see pple..and I'd cry. And it got lonely..esp since I have just a handful of friends here. I learnt to laugh at everything, look for happiness from other pple's happiness. It works.. Love you lots..hugs..hugs..and hug... And while we are on this..thanks, Bryce Forum. You guys just dunno how much of a life saver you are..not just with bryce questions..but with the jokes..and the emotional help that just seems to come in naturally to us.

my only advice to give is, "Be a survivor, and not a victim." That gets me through a lot. Good luck and best wishes from now on....

Thanks guys, we just found out the car repair will be only a water pump and not something major, so that's a good thing.... and thanks Britt, for the flower, I love roses... What helps me see clearer is to write things down, hence the forum post, feedback also helps me move past the problems and work on solutions, you have all helped emensely just by posting... A Blessing on everyone here from me, you're an emotional lifesaver, and I love you all, my family in Bryce....

There isn't much more that I can add to what has already been said, J, except for a couple little things. First, that which can not kill you, can only mnake you stronger. There is very little in this world that can kill the human spirit and perseverance. Second, in my line of work (i'm a cop in the NYC metro area) I have seen people at their best and at their worst and then there is something lower than that. Those are the people that just give up and stop trying. I have seen someone killed for 5 dollars. I have seen family beat the living sh!t our of each other because of a shirt. I have seen the darkest side of human nature there is, but I refuse to let the darkness get me down. My best friend of 14 years screwed me over because of a girl a couple of months ago. The darkness was getting to me for a couple of weeks, until I met my current girlfriend. Now, we laugh hystericaly every day. Something I hadn't done in a quite a while. So as some of our friends above me have stated, things happen for a reason. As far as what you stated in your last sentence...well...that's bullsh!t. That's a cowards way out. That's for the weak minded and the timid. I've seen that enough times and know the stories behind them to be able to say that with authority. Look at the art that you have created and shared with us here. It takes a creative mind full of life to that. Your ship will come in. It just takes a little bit of luck and patience, Babe. As Rod said, you wake up every morning. In that, you've won the day. John

Good things come to good people, but sometimes it gets a bit dark and you've got to wait a while for the light to come back. Good things will come back to you Zhann - be sure of it hugs.

Hang on in there Zhann, life can only get better. We've been down a couple of times, still struggling at present but the secret is to refuse to be beaten. Look at the good things, learn from the bad, but don't let them dominate your life. Think positive!

My dear sweet Zhann, I'm so sorry to hear that your problems and heartaches continue to pile. I really dont know how to answer your question. Or even if your question warrants an answer. I mean, I know there are countless times when we ask the rhetorical question, why? We really dont expect to get an answer, but just to be able to ask the question reminds us just how delicate we can be and how hard life can sometimes make it for us. Weve all been there, some more than others. We need only to look at a fellow human being to see that we are not alone, that we all have our share of problems. Even here as I read these posts I realize that we all share in this humanity. For some months now Ive been going through some pretty turbulent and troublesome times of my own. A few months ago, I lost my one and only youngest brother. He was the closest and most cherished person in my life. On the same day of his death I was diagnosed with an ailment which has prompted chemo therapy which brings along with it many other nasty side affects and for now, Im home on disability, feeling beat, anemic and tired and to top it all off, a legal battle makes its presence known on the horizon for my brothers death benefit which has not allowed for a moments peace especially since we have not had sufficient time to morn my brothers death. I come here and I realize that my problems are few compared to others. In another board I frequent, a young family mourns the lost of their baby daughter and I cant fathom their grieve. How difficult that must be to have to put to rest your baby child. How lucky am I? This week as I saw no sun on my horizon a blood test comes back negative suggesting that the illness no longer resides in my body. I quick chat with my doctor foreshadows the possibility of a relapse, dashing some but not all hope and the continuation of my treatment. Why? Why me? I hear you, as I hear all the others. Sometimes, I think, our steel must be tested. How much can we and must we endure before we decide to fold it up? Not as long as there is hope. Hope that tomorrow will bring a better day with it. That things will start to happen, that will bring so much joy with it, that our todays will dissolve into memories. The sort of happiness that will make you stop and ask, what was I thinking then? Hugs! Angelo

We live in a grey world, it has it's good and evil sides. just focus on the good and don't let the bad things get to you. Although I'm too young to have all the probs you're having recently I've had my share of bad things too. I've been pretty down months not too long ago and at a certain point I was really depressed and I couldn't seem to get out of it. Untill someone showed me to look at the bright side of life again and then things wheren't as bad anymore. Just hang on to the good stuff. Life just sucks some times, don't let that part of life get you down.

This is one of the reasons I love this place. Through someone's misfortune we have all learned something about one another. In a way Zhann's life has brought us all together and made us take a good hard look at the lives we lead and allowed us to compare our own good/bad experiences with those of others. This has to be a good thing. A few months ago, my Daughter, who has been through some tough s**t over the last few years (most of her life in fact) said something really profound. She told me that she felt the human race was approaching a critical point in its existance and that soon something wonderful is going happen. I've lived with more hope in my heart ever since..........

Zhann..how is your dog? And the bunny? Names, plz....

Dear Zhann, never believe that the darkness you see now will always be because the sun will shine again and this moment in time will be hard to remember. I've been there too and at this time last year I thought my life was over, after 33 years of diabetes I finally got the long dreaded complications of the disese, ie. heart disease, kidney disease and nerve damage, not only one type of nerve damage though, I was greedy and got all 3 types. 8) But look I'm still around and there's no getting rid of me, and I feel I've come a long way in the past year and a lot of that comes from being part of this forum and knowing all the lovely people here who make me laugh and think. Too many "ands" in that last paragraph. lol 8) If you need to talk you know we're all here to listen and if you don't want to go public, like Ang said, IM me and we can cheer each other up. Be well Zhann, take everything that life flings at you with a pinch of salt, and remember that you are a wonderful human being with a lot of talent and a big heart. big hug 8) Catlin

wow, all I'm losing is my house, job, and credit rating..y'all got me beat on that. Just hoping the recent economic events are going to make jobs more easy to find. Good luck.

erosiaart, the dog is named Zeus and the bunny is named Jordthynn, we talked to the vet, they'll do the surgery in exchange for Todd upgrading their HVAC, no labor, just parts, and paint the entire facility. I fear the bunny will not recover, he has an infection in the inner ear, and because of the nature of rabbits, it's extremely difficult to treat, the damage to the inner ear has his balance and coordination screwed up. So he has to be cleaned and hand fed every 4-5 hours, everyday. However he is also 8 years old and that's pretty old for a domestic rabbit, had free run of house and garden most of his life.

Ahh, Zhann... Hope things work out for you, cheer up, it's not ALL dark. Hardships exist to temper us and force strengths to the forefront that we might not know existed. You are NOT a victim of fate's cruel game... Even if you ARE such, don't ever let yourself believe it! That path leads to ruin. Keep your chin up and put forth your best efforts, and keep your husband from despair as well. You are a wonderful person, and I know that sometimes it doesn't seem like our graphics-work will ever really pay off, but be persistent, no, RELENTLESS! It's always darkest before the dawn, indeed! - Jared

I am not saying I am a religious person or spread the word, but sometimes some of the stuff makes sense.This poem always helped me.I just lost my father ,then recently fell off a roof and will be off 5 months with a severely broken ankle. Remember: "Wake up only one day at a time" _______________________ One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord, You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me? The Lord replied, The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.

amethyss, that is my very favorite song! It has gotten me thru some very hard times. Zhann, I know how your feeling with the one thing after another! They say," God never puts more on your plate than you can handle", I just wish He didn't have so much faith in me sometimes...:) He must have great faith in you too. I am glad you are able to work out the vet situation.Warm and heartfelt hugs to you and your family.

I know other people who are a having a hard time. It's not fair, but that's life sometimes. Being unemployed is not just a problem to any one country. It is universal. Seeing as this is cyberspace, I will have to give you a big hug and words of support from afar. Myself, I take one day at a time. I am amazed that I am still here after 40 years ;)